Question about being pregnant and job offer (weeks, early, months) - - City-Data Forum

StarryEyedSurprise · 07-31-2009, 12:45 PM

Hi all - just found that I am pregnant over the past few weeks (almost seven weeks along), and I just found myself in a sticky situation.

I've been out of a job (due to relocating, my husband has a great job that kinda makes up for my lost salary) for the past year, though I was actively seeking. I had an interview back in May, pre-pregnancy, and nothing ever came of it.

So a few days ago, I get a phone call telling me that their budget was finalized, and I should be expecting the paperwork for a job offer early next week. Great! Ugh! Great because I'll be able to justify a new TV and baby stuff that my husband would veto otherwise, and ugh because this is an awkward situation - am I supposed to inform them right now that I am pregnant? Do I wait? If I wait will they think poorly of me? I don't even know if I would want to come back to work for a while after giving birth - these thoughts weren't in my mind, since I wasn't expecting an offer!

Any ideas, anyone? This would be my first child, I am super stressed right now because we JUST moved, the house was a foreclosure and we're (personally) renovating it, I'm going to have contractors in and out doing the roof and windows, I have my husband's uncle creating more work for me (thanks for spending 10 mins trimming all the bushes and trees and not cleaning up), my in laws will be spending a month with us to help with the kitchen reno - yes, as of today I will have NO KITCHEN - so I'm kinda freaking out, which is not in my nature. So now this job situation (which I would normally be thrilled about!) is causing me more stress! Oh, and all-day morning sickness. Joy!

Thoughts, ideas, chocolates all accepted and welcomed!

okpondlady · 07-31-2009, 12:56 PM

There are three ways to look at this.
First you can speak to the Personnel Manager or whoever it was that extended the offer. Tell them you just found out you are pg but would still love the job. Take it. Go to work till further notice. IF you decide not to return after baby is born you are at least 7 months (hopefully) ahead in wages and benefits.

Second you can speak to PM. Take the job and tell them you may or may not return after baby is born. PERSONALLY I wouldn't tell them I might not return. Even telling them you are PG would make them think twice about hiring you.

Third take the job and don't say anything about being pg.in a month or 2 tell them... OH I just found out I am PG!!! We are so happy!!!!! It might seem devious but it really depends on how much you need the money and the job. They could still dismiss you depending on where you live...but probably they won't.

Here are CHOCOLATES, ROSES, Thoughts AND some prayers for you. Good luck hon.

PS. Congrats too!!

LisaMc46 · 07-31-2009, 01:05 PM

I would definitely let your new employer know that you are pregnant. You could just say something like, "My circumstances have changed somewhat since my interview. I'm expecting a baby in x, but I'm still interested in the position."

You say that you're already stressed and keeping a pregnancy a secret would just add to the stress. I don't think that the company would legally be able to rescind the offer because you're pregnant, but you may want to check with your state labor department to see what the law says in your state.

Also, overseeing a home renovation is a full time job in itself. If you won't be home to check on the contractors will your husband be able to? With a new job, you probably won't get any time off for a while so it could be hard to supervise the project. Being at work and getting a call like, "Miss, the granite countertop just arrived, but I'm not sure if it's what you ordered. Do you want me to go ahead and install it?" could be extremely stressful.

So, if you don't have to work and if you were planning to take some time off after the baby is born, this might not be the best time to accept a new job offer. JMO.

lisdol · 07-31-2009, 01:59 PM

I vote for option #3. Baby is 7 months away and you never know what will happen between now and then.

bande1102 · 07-31-2009, 02:13 PM

I would not tell them. Like someone else said, a lot can happen over the next 7 months.

crazyme4878 · 07-31-2009, 03:58 PM

I was in the same situation. I was searching and searching for a job. We moved for my husband's schooling. He was working the summer, so I took the summer off to spend time with my son. However, I couldn't find a job for months! We went through all our savings and finally, I was accepted as a legal secretary at a small legal firm. And I just found out I was pregnant. It is too stressful to "hide" a pregnancy (I kind of did this with #1 and an internship). And the "a lot can happen in 7 months" did happen to me. But going through a miscarriage is even more stressful than all of the above and you will want to take a little time off if that does happen.

Only you can know if you can handle to stress of remodeling, inlaws, pregnancy and a new job. However, I would definitely tell your new employer of your pregnancy immediately.

malamute · 08-01-2009, 08:35 AM

I think it depends a lot on how much pregnancy leave you intend to take.

If it's the 3 months, it's not fair to the employer who was counting on having an employee.

If it's 6 weeks, it's not as bad even less if it's 2 weeks time out. There are women who return to work in just 2 weeks even after a C-section.

hypocore · 08-01-2009, 10:35 AM

I believe you need to be be truthful with the employer as to your being pregnant.
If you are honest about it and they really think you are the right person for the job, then they will be much more willing to work with you on all the times you will need to take off work for doctor visits in the upcoming months and any other issues that might arise. Also, you both will have a clear understanding of how the next several months will change for both parties.

If you don't tell them, while they can't fire you for being pregnant and not telling them, they can certainly make your time on the job extremely difficult. Some employers are looking for a long term stable employee and a pregnant lady who will likely not stay is a waste of their time, effort and money. Those are the kind who work hard to make an employee either quit early on their own, or set them up to have a non medical reason to fire them.

Since it's your first pregnancy, you are not in dire need of the money and having all going on at home that you do, I'd decline their job offer. I'd tell them of your change in circumstance, thank them for considering you at this time and that perhaps after the baby has arrived you might get back in touch with them for future employment. That way you can go through this pregnancy without that particular stress, get your house finished and settle into a routine with your new baby before making a career decision.

suzie02 · 08-01-2009, 12:41 PM

Most people are telling you to be honest with the company but they probably wouldn't have the same consideration with you. I remember finding out about lay offs in my company by a press release.

If you need the money I would start working and a week into the job tell them you just found out. They have no way of knowing otherwise. On the other hand if you do not need the money I would not take the job. You have way too much stress in your life already.

TouchOfWhimsy · 08-01-2009, 04:25 PM

I would not volunteer the information. You are under no obligation to announce your pregnancy to people in your workplace... even if you were already working there! By the time you are 5 months or so pregnant, your condition will be apparent, or you could simply tell them then. That gives them plenty of time to find someone to cover for your maternity leave, and they will not have the chance to discriminate against you at this point (which is illegal anyway).