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Old 08-01-2010, 09:14 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,869 posts, read 13,844,225 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Disagree and not true for all narcisists.

The cause is undecided bc they come from varying backgrounds....

Parental neglect during the narcisisstic stages of childhood development
when their needs are not met or....

A parents overindulgence of a child, not just materially, but giving them some grandious overinflated view of themselves.

You might want to do some reading.
My thoughts exactly.
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Old 08-02-2010, 12:24 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,761,533 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
No. It really doesn't need any more analyzing. It was simpler than I thought. Its about accepting that mistakes happen and being okay with it because they are now in the past. Have you never met somebody who was hard on themselves because they made a mistake?
Sure..I can look back at my own mistakes, not childhood, but as an adult and say damn...what was I thinking. You can't cook an egg twice though.

If you're repeatedly called stupid by adults as a child..I would quess you're going to feel stupid and be hard on yourself as an adult.
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:54 AM
 
Location: NJT 14C
429 posts, read 794,755 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
I said that having desires is not selfish. Its the waiting and wanting for those desires to happen that could lead to selfish behaviors.
So would you say that no desire can be a selfish desire?

Also, x wouldn't be a desire if you didn't want x to happen. So that's not really something different. It's what a desire is.

You appear to now be saying that desires/wanting x to happen is not selfish, but instead can lead to selfish behaviors, and you consider those selfish behaviors narcissistic. But your first post was almost entirely about desires/wanting x to happen. If those can not be selfish, then your first post hardly mentioned your topic--narcissism/selfishness, which is why I said, "what does any of that have to do with narcissism?" If the idea was to talk about selfish or narcissistic behavior that those desires led to, you should have talked about the selfish or narcissistic behavior, not the desires, since apparently, you believe that no desires can be selfish in themselves.

Could you mention the selfish behavior you had in mind?
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Old 05-15-2012, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,070 posts, read 8,765,860 times
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Narcissists are born that way, IMO.
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Old 05-15-2012, 08:28 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,518,778 times
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I always thought narcissists were people who were fixated on themselves, their well-being and their appearance. Can these traits be present and still have a pleasant person? Or is a narcissist implicitly high maintenance?
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Old 05-15-2012, 08:42 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,366,635 times
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Narcissism is characterized by primal wounding.
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Old 05-16-2012, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Texas
5,070 posts, read 8,765,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
I always thought narcissists were people who were fixated on themselves, their well-being and their appearance. Can these traits be present and still have a pleasant person? Or is a narcissist implicitly high maintenance?
Check out this: he is looking to see if anybody is looking at him.

But yeah, he can be pleasant but he also has to be right.
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:40 PM
 
19,839 posts, read 10,542,345 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
That is a special case indeed but I am not talking about those kinds of parents. I am just talking about the ones who tried very hard to raise their kids "right" to find out later that they didn't do a perfect job.

Just to be fair, I was not raised by people like that but I still turned out unhappy, selfish and impatient.
Are you blaming your parents? They may have done perfectly fine by you.

My parents had 9 kids. 8 of us are fine and happy and good parents ourselves. My one brother is a complete idiot and always whining about his childhood. So did my great parents not raise him right?
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:49 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,518,778 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian.Pearson View Post
Check out this: he is looking to see if anybody is looking at him.

But yeah, he can be pleasant but he also has to be right.
I've met people who were worried about their clothing, spent a lot of time at the gym, and were concerned with what circles they ran around in. That aside, they were decent enough friends and they weren't lacking for dates.
When I hear the term narcissist, this handful of people, with these attributes, comes to mind.
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Old 05-16-2012, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,070 posts, read 8,765,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
I've met people who were worried about their clothing, spent a lot of time at the gym, and were concerned with what circles they ran around in. That aside, they were decent enough friends and they weren't lacking for dates.
When I hear the term narcissist, this handful of people, with these attributes, comes to mind.
I came across this article, "How to Spot a Narcissist." Migt find it interesting. I had never personally known anyone who had healed.

BTW, I think our cat is a narcissist, thinking of nothing but himself...
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