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Old 06-23-2011, 02:26 PM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,512,941 times
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I have never had a girlfriend who did not have low self esteem or was happy with herself, what the hell is wrong with our women??

Look to the media as one possible cause. Nothing is wrong inherently wrong with our women. We live in a culture where covert and overt pressure is put on women (and men) to adhere to a certain standard of physical perfection. Swimsuit issues of magazines that deal with sports (oh, so ogling young and nubile female flesh is a sport now? I didn't realize.), billboards, magazines, television. Every where a young woman looks she is bombarded with the unspoken message, "If you don't look like (fill in the blank) you are not worthy of love and attention.
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Old 06-23-2011, 06:36 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,194,953 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
Posted by Chris245
he makes a good point. You really seem like a grouchy person.
No doubt with anyone who introduces a dose of reality to the comments.

As to the OP's comment, when hypergamy (women insisting on "marrying up") is very common, most feel inadequate to the task at hand since there are usually 6 competitors for every prospect. This results in low self esteem but only with respect to a thin slice of men. They can treat anyone else who doesn't meet their exacting standards with plenty of esteem building distain.

When men are only offered the option of marrying down, they usually just opt out. No loss of self esteem over the long run since this usually leads to a happy and successful life, with low stress. Initially it can hurt, especially if one works hard to make oneself desirable, but this doesn't last and never becomes a psychological problem like it often does for woomen.
I'm not remembering a post from March (2011 or 2010?), tho, I'm not sure what the dose of reality is about. The misery here is quite apparent, but it's something I don't share with you guys. Life is just easier for some of us. Who knows why, but I hedge my bets on physiology.

eta: now that I read back to Kramar, my pov is assured.
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Old 06-23-2011, 07:17 PM
 
1,446 posts, read 3,021,547 times
Reputation: 598
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
Posted by Chris245
he makes a good point. You really seem like a grouchy person.



No doubt with anyone who introduces a dose of reality to the comments.

As to the OP's comment, when hypergamy (women insisting on "marrying up") is very common, most feel inadequate to the task at hand since there are usually 6 competitors for every prospect. This results in low self esteem but only with respect to a thin slice of men. They can treat anyone else who doesn't meet their exacting standards with plenty of esteem building distain.

When men are only offered the option of marrying down, they usually just opt out. No loss of self esteem over the long run since this usually leads to a happy and successful life, with low stress. Initially it can hurt, especially if one works hard to make oneself desirable, but this doesn't last and never becomes a psychological problem like it often does for woomen.
I find this quite true, but ti's not just marrying up. Most have an ideal mate. It could be the homeless thug with bipolar issues that they would shun a real estate mogul over.
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Old 06-23-2011, 07:18 PM
 
1,446 posts, read 3,021,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CancerianMoonPrincess View Post
I think it's because some men (not all) are always judging a girl based on her looks and if some tard says she's ugly, she'll get really upset and believe them. It's also probably because that some people who have never been in relationships feel like they're not attractive enough, even if they're told they're attractive.
Of course it's not Cosmo or those other magazines published by women.

I truly wish men were the first opinion given credence by women. For every oen guy saying that, there are usually 6 others saying something different.
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Old 06-23-2011, 07:20 PM
 
20,979 posts, read 15,614,915 times
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Academia says it's due to Barbie dolls.
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Old 06-23-2011, 09:15 PM
 
Location: The ATL
292 posts, read 542,877 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tia 914 View Post
because much of the so-called "self-help industry" not only failed, but backfired- people have been taught neither themselves nor their lives are acceptable as they are, that one cannot afford to be satisfied with anything, and, to top it off, the notion that one should adhere to other people's standards rather than one's own.
This is true. There's a never-ending pursuit of perfection in American society, mainly instigated by the media in order to sell their products and services.
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Old 06-23-2011, 09:18 PM
 
Location: The ATL
292 posts, read 542,877 times
Reputation: 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
Look to the media as one possible cause. Nothing is wrong inherently wrong with our women. We live in a culture where covert and overt pressure is put on women (and men) to adhere to a certain standard of physical perfection. Swimsuit issues of magazines that deal with sports (oh, so ogling young and nubile female flesh is a sport now? I didn't realize.), billboards, magazines, television. Every where a young woman looks she is bombarded with the unspoken message, "If you don't look like (fill in the blank) you are not worthy of love and attention.
Exactly!

The problem is people in this society worship the media and believe it's word as the last and final word. However, the media manipulates us through our self-esteem to sell their products and services.
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Old 06-23-2011, 09:24 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 4,389,330 times
Reputation: 2034
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
Honest question, I don't know if women in other countries have the same problem but I have never dated or met a woman in this country who did not suffer from low self esteem, regardless of social status, family upbringing, accomplishments, etc

I have a coworker who is a pretty attractive girl in her early 20's, we went to the Iowa State Fair one night and she told me that she was very self conscious about her face(she has some very small acne scars) and her height (she is about 6'1"). She has no boyfriend and always complains about not being able to find one

I have never had a girlfriend who did not have low self esteem or was happy with herself, what the hell is wrong with our women??
She was simply fishing for compliments from you, combined with hinting 'do you want to be my BF?'

So what are you comparing 'our women' to? Jersey housewives?
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Old 06-23-2011, 10:14 PM
 
32 posts, read 35,841 times
Reputation: 14
I have been through so much crap. So much failures and even was brainwashed at one time.

In the end none of this has led me to feel low about my looks or lifestyle.

I know that unlike some men I don't have to go home alone. LOL

Which I always do because I choose to
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Old 06-24-2011, 03:40 AM
 
5,721 posts, read 4,327,795 times
Reputation: 4299
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
Posted by Chris245
he makes a good point. You really seem like a grouchy person.



No doubt with anyone who introduces a dose of reality to the comments.

As to the OP's comment, when hypergamy (women insisting on "marrying up") is very common, most feel inadequate to the task at hand since there are usually 6 competitors for every prospect. This results in low self esteem but only with respect to a thin slice of men. They can treat anyone else who doesn't meet their exacting standards with plenty of esteem building distain.

When men are only offered the option of marrying down, they usually just opt out. No loss of self esteem over the long run since this usually leads to a happy and successful life, with low stress. Initially it can hurt, especially if one works hard to make oneself desirable, but this doesn't last and never becomes a psychological problem like it often does for woomen.
American women are too picky and are actually more shallow than men. Men are sort of shallow when it comes to looks..but that's it. Women are shallow when it comes to looks, height, what your job title is and how it sounds on paper, money, social status, what kind of car you drive, where you live, the list is endless.

American women are so obsessed with marrying up they put themselves into some sort of box that they can't break out of. They usually end up with the guy that is totally wrong for them. That's why you see so many unhappy women they either refuse to or can't think outside the box.
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