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Old 06-24-2011, 09:36 AM
 
25,508 posts, read 23,358,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
American women are too picky and are actually more shallow than men. Men are sort of shallow when it comes to looks..but that's it. Women are shallow when it comes to looks, height, what your job title is and how it sounds on paper, money, social status, what kind of car you drive, where you live, the list is endless.

American women are so obsessed with marrying up they put themselves into some sort of box that they can't break out of. They usually end up with the guy that is totally wrong for them. That's why you see so many unhappy women they either refuse to or can't think outside the box.
First off, not all amaerican women have low self esteem, are there some, yes, and maybe more then not, but generalizing that all women are insecure is wrong...we're not all insecure...and most women do mature with age, not to mention, as you grow older your priorities change....and not all women are unhappy, or gold diggers, are there some, indeed, but there are also, many great, accomplished women out there who are self reliant, good people, and to tell you the truth, that really intimidates some men. Also, I don't advocate someone who is looking strickly for material wealth, however, it's what they do, they're goals, so I would say, look in another direction, and you might find what your looking for.

I always told my son, look for a woman with goals, who isn't simply looking to be taken care of b/c she was taught to believe that her soul pupose in life was to hang diapers on the line....there is much more to life then that, so it works both ways...it takes all kinds of people to make up any community....and we here in the U.S. are a community, therefore, take the good, bad and inbetween for what it is, and realize, we're all different, we all think and feel differently about things, it's our right...and steer clear of people who are simply not a good fit for you.

Creme
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Old 06-24-2011, 09:46 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,250,021 times
Reputation: 3312
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
First off, not all amaerican women have low self esteem, are there some, yes, and maybe more then not, but generalizing that all women are insecure is wrong...we're not all insecure...and most women do mature with age, not to mention, as you grow older your priorities change....and not all women are unhappy, or gold diggers, are there some, indeed, but there are also, many great, accomplished women out there who are self reliant, good people, and to tell you the truth, that really intimidates some men. Also, I don't advocate someone who is looking strickly for material wealth, however, it's what they do, they're goals, so I would say, look in another direction, and you might find what your looking for.

I always told my son, look for a woman with goals, who isn't simply looking to be taken care of b/c she was taught to believe that her soul pupose in life was to hang diapers on the line....there is much more to life then that, so it works both ways...it takes all kinds of people to make up any community....and we here in the U.S. are a community, therefore, take the good, bad and inbetween for what it is, and realize, we're all different, we all think and feel differently about things, it's our right...and steer clear of people who are simply not a good fit for you.

Creme


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Old 06-24-2011, 09:47 AM
 
25,508 posts, read 23,358,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepgirl27 View Post


right back at cha, we always think along the same coloring book, in which we seem to always crayon outside the lines....LOL
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Old 06-25-2011, 01:07 AM
 
4,837 posts, read 7,613,258 times
Reputation: 2986
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
American women are too picky and are actually more shallow than men. Men are sort of shallow when it comes to looks..but that's it. Women are shallow when it comes to looks, height, what your job title is and how it sounds on paper, money, social status, what kind of car you drive, where you live, the list is endless.

American women are so obsessed with marrying up they put themselves into some sort of box that they can't break out of. They usually end up with the guy that is totally wrong for them. That's why you see so many unhappy women they either refuse to or can't think outside the box.
Reading your list, one would think that it would be men who are at risk for low self esteem.

However, the guys who this applies to were usually raised with the expectation that life would be no piece of cake. Work, struggle and disappointment was what they were told to expect and when they found what they were up against to get into a reasonable relationship, the alternative seemed rather appealing.
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Old 06-25-2011, 01:16 AM
 
Location: socal
630 posts, read 857,916 times
Reputation: 915
we've been conditioned since we were in diapers that we just aren't good enough as we are. To be externally validating instead of internally. This must be why we're all on something to cope with not being who or what we are at whatever age we are. If you give that some thought it's sad. Really sad.
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Old 06-25-2011, 02:42 AM
 
186 posts, read 414,663 times
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hmm...never noticed american women have low self esteems...
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Old 06-26-2011, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
1,010 posts, read 1,121,566 times
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That's a really good question. However, while I think low self-esteem among American girls is high not ALL women have a low self-esteem. There is a HUGE difference between being conscious about one's looks and actually having low self-esteem, don't confuse the two. Being conscious about being a little tall for a woman and worrying about a little acne is NOT low self-esteem. Hell, some of these female sweat-hogs I see out in public stuffing their face with Pepsi and Taco Bell should be A LOT more cognisant of their appearance, and I'm being dead serious. A good way to tell if a girl has low self-esteem is to look at her relationships. Does she have a lot of "randoms"? Does she or has she been in more than one, (could be physical or verbal), abusive relationship? Does she go for guys that try to look like Eminem? Does she go for guys that can't hold a job or they do it's at the the bottom of the pay scale? Does she go for guys that use a lot drugs or alcohol? Does she go for guys that have criminal records? Does she go for guys that have multiple kids to multiple women? Does she go for guys that are behind on child support? Does she go for guys that never have any money but always have weed, the newest SeanJon baggy t-shirt, or the newest cellphone? Are her friends decent people or are they "low-lifes" ? If you answered yes to ANY of those then that's a girl with low self-esteem. A confident girl, a girl that gets "it" meaning they have good judgement, doesn't go after the "bad-boy" type. That isn't just my opinion, more than one female I know that has their act together has told me that. Confident girls can sniff an as$hole out miles away and will want nothing to with him. And if they do slip up and get involved with a jerk once they recognize it they are out like the rotary phone. I say this because I have a younger sister that is very attractive and confident, but got involved with a jerk a few years back. The rest of my family saw him for what he was and she finally did she ended the relationship. She ended up meeting a "nice-guy" and have been married for almost a year now. My brother-in-law really is a good dude. I do think there lots of girls in our society with low self-esteem. It is a PROVEN FACT the when a girl grows up without a father in her life it has very negative impacts on a girl's life. It's no secret that there are many children today being raised by single moms. I obviously don't know the girl you're talking about but it sounds like you're jumping to conclusions. Hope this clears it up.
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Old 08-25-2015, 12:00 AM
 
327 posts, read 288,193 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
Honest question, I don't know if women in other countries have the same problem but I have never dated or met a woman in this country who did not suffer from low self esteem, regardless of social status, family upbringing, accomplishments, etc

I have a coworker who is a pretty attractive girl in her early 20's, we went to the Iowa State Fair one night and she told me that she was very self conscious about her face(she has some very small acne scars) and her height (she is about 6'1"). She has no boyfriend and always complains about not being able to find one

I have never had a girlfriend who did not have low self esteem or was happy with herself, what the hell is wrong with our women??
1/3 of women will have an abortion in their life.
it makes sense that this contributes to low self-esteem later in life.

Women were intended to serve their husbands…and receive great love from their husbands in return. But, today, with careers and laws that discourage family, everything is messed up. This was done intentionally to destroy family and strengthen the states' hold on the live of its citizens. LOL. some of you will get it, and it really is that simple. I can determine if a women is good or bad within 15 minutes. It used to be difficult, with with the tattoo age, and the way women dress, it is so easy for me. I can just look at a woman's face/clothes, and the way they talk, and have about a 99.9% percent success rate as to the type of person they are.

Unfortunately, the majority of women today have very little to offer men, but sex, and bad sex for the most part.
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Old 08-26-2015, 08:57 AM
 
Location: A State of Mind
4,499 posts, read 1,753,971 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
It is unbelievable how many people here live in DENIAL! I have never met any women in any setting, business, girlfriends, friends who did not have low self esteem, it is EPIDEMIC!

I imagine it would be worse if you were overweight, unnatractive, etc

"Low self-esteem among girls and young women has reached a crisis level," said Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., a psychologist and self-esteem expert who collaborated on Real Girls, Real Pressure. "The new report from Dove confirms the importance of healthy self-esteem and the dangerous consequences that can arise when hang-ups about looks, academics and popularity erode a girl's sense of self-worth and self-acceptance""
Well you are making a point and what else is new, with the focus predominately having been on Perfection, Youthfulness, Anti-aging - what does anyone expect? Very attractive women can develop an imagined body-dysmorphic issue, due to this pressure. With a never ending flurry of female imagery, women being "rated as a number", etc., making comparisons, it just goes on, sending a negative message. (It's pretty sad that a young woman feels apologetic for any physical "flaw").

I was conversing with a couple of women in a cosmetics aisle yesterday, looking at facial creams. One was discussing the developing of dark spots with the other who worked there. The younger woman having concerns, appeared flawless. We discussed lack of real solution, the other saying how even Laser treatments do not fully resolve it. What I am saying is, here are women expressing concerns that men do not feel. With being projected upon to achieve a perfect appearance, it can seem monumental, despite any abilities, achievements, personality traits. Just the fact that there are several aisles in stores devoted to women's appearance, when there is nothing that equals this for men, automatically extends the message that "we are to improve". Advertisements, sexy images, models, celebrities (who look like any woman without makeup) being focused upon. It cannot help but make females second-guess themselves. (I have thought that without this having been the case for men all their lives, that they appear to have better self-esteem, even if unattractive).

"Men's Entertainment" has always been a factor in altering how women are perceived and how they perceive themselves, which has worsened, with even young girls feeling they need "Boob Jobs" or other surgeries. It is these added, outside pressures that have unnecessarily contributed to the problem. There's is a great documentary on the subject, "MissRepresention", if anyone is interested. (I say this too, when looking around in public, do men think all the "hotties" are just hiding out?)

I don't know how things will change, despite any ideas of "hope" or attempts to repair the problem, without altering the barrage of messages sent to females AND altering the different barrage of info being sent to men! If this is not a problem overall, for example, why did a kid enter his college, shooting a bunch of students and himself, due to the "hot ones" not being interested in him??
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Old 08-26-2015, 05:59 PM
 
96 posts, read 61,630 times
Reputation: 103
I think it has to do with the fact that EVERYONE is a peer now, including all the celebrities due to social media. I think it's easier to feel less insecure when you're just in a small town but now the small town is the whole world + photoshop + heavy emphases on looks = disaster.
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