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Instead of being paranoid you could ask "Do you have or have you had several cats with different colors?" My answer would be yes!
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Originally Posted by sierraAZ
Yeah, I can see it if there is already a reason for it. While opinions may change (as it was discussed above), facts do not. The color of the cat may not be important, but it makes you wonder what else you're told is a lie!
If you choose to lie, you must have a pretty darn good memory!
I can't remember ever meeting anyone like that. Maybe it's because I don't make up stories that I must remember.
I've caught others in lies, not because I try to but simply because I usually remember what's said to me.
I was always catching my late wife in one little lie or another. It was amusing when it happened but embarrassing to her. She had much more "experience" in the game of love than I did, and that bothered her a little. (Didn't bother me.) So she'd tell me about so-and-so, who was just a friend and they'd never been sexually involved, then a year or two later she'd have an "oops moment" and mention the sex with him. I'd say, "HUH? But you said...." And we'd have a good laugh.
I don't really get what you're saying. If you tell me today that your cat is black, and tomorrow you say your cat is white, don't you expect to be questioned about it? Is it now a bad thing if I pay attention to what you say and remember it? *rolls eyes*
Thank you for this post. I was reading the others, and i was like..huh?? I dont "look" for lies or descrepancies either. But, just like the above poster, i just remember things that are said to me. I mean heck, if a person could never remember what their significant other said, they would be getting beat up for that! Damned if you do..damned if you dont.
I agree that if you tell a person one thing, then next month tell them the complete opposite, why wouldn't you think someone would wonder about that?? Now just think if that happened quite a few times. Why would there be two different answers?? Folks were on here saying they avoid people who catch descrepanices, but it seems like the catcher should avoid the other person.
And i dont think the catcher is like this because they are the ones always lying. They are like that probably because they have been lied to a lot before, and are now super sensitive about it. That makes more sense than the other way around.
For me, if i tell you something, there is no need for there to be a TOTALLY different answer next month. SIMPLY TELL THE TRUTH and you will never have to worry about anybody "catching" anything. Read that sentence again. If you are always telling the truth, then why would you be caught saying something completely different another time??
And you think the CATCHER is nuts??? Really??
Seems to me the folks worried about the "catchers" are the ones always having something to be caught.
Who hasn't been lied too? That doesn't mean you approach every single interpersonal misunderstanding with a suspicious, melodramatic, interrogative, and arrogant way.
And from what I've seen they also lie but don't care. It's like standard operating procedure for these people. They can lie and deceive all they want. But if they catch you fibbing, changing your mind, or getting confused they act like they have the authority to throw you in a vat of hot lava.
Do you know someone who doesn't lie? I personally do not. And what would be the point in confronting people in a hostile manner when they lie or deceive me? That would be really stupid. Maybe they are just short with words and a bad communicator?
That's my perception on the matter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winecountry1
[/b]
Thank you for this post. I was reading the others, and i was like..huh?? I dont "look" for lies or descrepancies either. But, just like the above poster, i just remember things that are said to me. I mean heck, if a person could never remember what their significant other said, they would be getting beat up for that! Damned if you do..damned if you dont.
I agree that if you tell a person one thing, then next month tell them the complete opposite, why wouldn't you think someone would wonder about that?? Now just think if that happened quite a few times. Why would there be two different answers?? Folks were on here saying they avoid people who catch descrepanices, but it seems like the catcher should avoid the other person.
And i dont think the catcher is like this because they are the ones always lying. They are like that probably because they have been lied to a lot before, and are now super sensitive about it. That makes more sense than the other way around.
For me, if i tell you something, there is no need for there to be a TOTALLY different answer next month. SIMPLY TELL THE TRUTH and you will never have to worry about anybody "catching" anything. Read that sentence again. If you are always telling the truth, then why would you be caught saying something completely different another time??
And you think the CATCHER is nuts??? Really??
Seems to me the folks worried about the "catchers" are the ones always having something to be caught.
No. I refuse to be around people who have Calvinistic type morality shoved up their rear end. I don't know a single person who hasn't fibbed or exaggerated. In fact I expect it since everyone's perception and morality are different. It's not monolithic. Now if the lie is something very serious with regard to money, health, or life or death situations then maybe it's okay to get interrogative and hostile. But other than that stop being a nagging brat
Often others who do not trust themselves and are constantly lying to themselves about something are the ones looking for lies in their comrades and colleagues to make themselves feel superior and to discredit those that they dislike or are envious of.
I promise you. If I believe somebody has lied to me. I rarely confront them. When I do I simply ask for more details and specifics because they may have a totally different perception than mine. It's not that big of an issue unless I am going to lose money or end up in the hospital. Get it ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winecountry1
[/b]
For me, if i tell you something, there is no need for there to be a TOTALLY different answer next month. SIMPLY TELL THE TRUTH and you will never have to worry about anybody "catching" anything. Read that sentence again. If you are always telling the truth, then why would you be caught saying something completely different another time??
And you think the CATCHER is nuts??? Really??
Seems to me the folks worried about the "catchers" are the ones always having something to be caught.
Instead of being paranoid you could ask "Do you have or have you had several cats with different colors?" My answer would be yes!
What if your girl told you that she never met Mike, the 6'2 blond waiter at Red Lobster restaurant, who called her by name and said hi when you guys ate there on the 4th of July?
Then next month you overhear her talking to a girlfriend on the phone about running into Mike at Red Lobster on the 4th of July. You hear her say this was the first time she had seen Mike since they stopped dating last year.
Mind you, she told you that she never met Mike before when you guys ran into him at the restaurant.
Lets go back to your example with the cats. Shall you now ask her if there is ANOTHER man named Mike that works at the Red Lobster that was there on the 4th of July that she actually DOES know??
If you are going to say that this example would not cause you to question why your girlfriend would have lied, may I ask if you are single..live in MA..and have money?
I already have a boyfriend, but what the heck, nothing will ever look suspicious to you, because you don't want to look paranoid. So its all good. Call me. Better yet...meet me and the boyfriend in the parking lot of the mall and give me some cash so he and I can go shopping. I will tell you that he is my brother, even though i told you a month ago that i am an only child. But, you wont question that, cause you dont wont to look paranoid. Excellent!
Call me so we can meet up. My boyfriend and I would like to get the jump on XMAS shopping.
PS..you wont mind walking the dog while we shop? We never leave the dog unattended in the car. Thanks a bunch! ((hugs)).
May I say that there is a line between just simply questioning blantant descrepanices, and being a totally suspicious nutjob.
I see nothing wrong by..as you say..asking for more details about something that is just SO obviously a totally different answer. NOT harping on every single little thing that someone says. THATS not what i mean. Please. Im talking about blatant stuff like the Red Lobster guy. Why should someone feel like they cant simply discuss why their SO felt the need to lie?? There could be underlying issues in the relationship that could be resolved if addressed. Maybe your girl feels you are too jealous, and is nervous of your anger, and thats why she didnt tell you, etc.
That would certainly be an issue that needed attention.
You can question in a kind manner. That is okay. I do that too. But I am always kind about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winecountry1
May I say that there is a line between just simply questioning blantant descrepanices, and being a totally suspicious nutjob.
I see nothing wrong by..as you say..asking for more details about something that is just SO obviously a totally different answer. NOT harping on every single little thing that someone says. THATS not what i mean. Please. Im talking about blatant stuff like the Red Lobster guy. Why should someone feel like they cant simply discuss why their SO felt the need to lie?? There could be underlying issues in the relationship that could be resolved if addressed. Maybe your girl feels you are too jealous, and is nervous of your anger, and thats why she didnt tell you, etc.
That would certainly be an issue that needed attention.
People like are the definition of lames, period. I don't have nothing to hide so if you try to "catch me in a lie" you will be mistaken because everything I say and do matches up
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