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Old 08-30-2010, 04:47 PM
 
1,996 posts, read 3,572,817 times
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Default what do you say to someone who has just lost their child?

A coworker of mine, a very very dear person, just lost her son in a tragic car accident. What are the right words to say, I'd like to write a nice card, but I'm at a loss for what to say to her to express my deepest sorrow for her. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Wallis and Futuna
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I'd keep it simple and non-denominational (unless you share the same - not merely similar- religious beliefs).

What you said just now, that you express your deepest sorrow for her loss, is eloquent, simple, and heartfelt. Perhaps let her know (again if you share similar beliefs) that you'll pray for her family during this difficult time.
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Boerne area
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keep it simple and heartfelt, and whatever you do don't hesitate to talk to her, no matter how uncomfortable you feel. People will pull away, not because they don't sympathize, but because they cannot think of what to say.
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
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There are no words that can ease the pain of losing a child. However, like a previous poster said, too many people wind up saying or doing nothing because they don't know what to say. I would just let her know that you are there for her along with a big, sincere hug and a shoulder to cry on.
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:05 PM
 
Location: In Line For The E Ticket Ride
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You don't say how good a friend she is or if you knew her son, but perhaps something along the lines of...

Dear ___.

I am tremendously sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you feel. I know that right now your world has turned upside down. If there is ANYTHING I can do to help PLEASE let me know. When you come back to work, please know that I will be there for you. If you need to talk come and get me. If you want a shoulder to cry on mine is there for you.

I am holding you and your son and your family in my heart. I pray that in time all of the happy memories come back. A lot of people care about you and I am just one of them.

With great love,
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:38 PM
Status: "Never have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed." (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
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please----no matter what her or your beliefs are Don't say:

It's God's Will
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Old 08-30-2010, 08:47 PM
 
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^^ or "he/she's in a better place" or "God called him/her home" or any of those platitudes. "I'm sorry" is best. And just be there.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:02 PM
 
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Let her know that you will listen if she needs to talk or just sit with her if she does not want to talk about things. Offer to do something practical like bring a dinner for her family that she can heat up so she doesn't have to worry about cooking for one day.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:21 PM
 
Location: NW. MO.
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Just tell your friend you are sorry for the loss of her son and use his name if you know him, and tell her that you are here if she needs you to talk or anything ( if you are).

Simple and acknowledging her son is best.
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Old 08-30-2010, 10:40 PM
 
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I had a co-worker whose daughter died in a horrific car accident that was caused by two bullying teens who chased her on a dangerous stretch of highway. I didn't get her a card but I went to her home and told her I was here to listen...and I listened. For many days I would visit her and although most of the time she cried, I helped her out with her other children and made them meals. As I previous poster stated I never mentioned it was God's will or intentions or that she was just too good for this life...I just listened and listened and lend a hand.

If you are not too close with the co-worker I would definitely send a card and keep it short and simple. If you are close tell your co-worker that you are there for them and listen any time of day or night...as time goes by they will express to you how much they appreciate it because you were there for them in their darkest hours.
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