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Old 02-06-2008, 05:37 AM
 
107 posts, read 70,493 times
Reputation: 27

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okay I think you talk about bad people in this post. My expierence I can tell you you find bad people but not to many. This is normal for human and even some animal do not like eachother. I met many women and man in this world and have many friend in other places. Many good friend maybe few bad ones to.
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Old 02-06-2008, 09:04 AM
 
Location: the show-me state
672 posts, read 1,929,374 times
Reputation: 745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy K View Post
okay I think you talk about bad people in this post. My expierence I can tell you you find bad people but not to many. This is normal for human and even some animal do not like eachother. I met many women and man in this world and have many friend in other places. Many good friend maybe few bad ones to.

Well, I tend to agree with you. We Americans can be generous people towards our friends. But because some of these friends can be toxic, we have to be careful who we try to be really close to. There are only a few that I'd be willing to share my crabs with. They're really not that hard to catch, but still, I'm kind of picky. You may be different than me though. I'm facinated that you are such a worldly woman and all. Not many of us can be like you!!!
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Old 02-06-2008, 10:33 AM
 
25,455 posts, read 23,273,196 times
Reputation: 15310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy K View Post
okay I think you talk about bad people in this post. My expierence I can tell you you find bad people but not to many. This is normal for human and even some animal do not like eachother. I met many women and man in this world and have many friend in other places. Many good friend maybe few bad ones to.
wull yes, but the topic is about toxic people...who are bad people....yes, I agree, there are many, many wonderful people and friends in the world...but the topic is only about toxic people
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Old 02-06-2008, 02:14 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,006,838 times
Reputation: 64014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunky39 View Post
dont marry them
never car pool
live alone
LOL Car pooling with a toxic person perish the thought!
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Old 02-07-2008, 09:30 AM
 
25,455 posts, read 23,273,196 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe View Post
LOL Car pooling with a toxic person perish the thought!
sheeesh, can't even imagine?????
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Old 02-07-2008, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,737 posts, read 6,173,776 times
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The only way to deal with toxic ones is to avoid them as much as you can, they can't be cured most of the time. Why should you feel depressed because someone else is continuously negative and dragging you with them?
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Old 02-17-2008, 02:23 AM
 
1,218 posts, read 3,582,426 times
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If you want the toxic relationship out of your life, you dump the person. If it's a family member, sometimes you still have to see them at family functions, etc. Be polite but distant and make your exit as soon as possible from him/her. Refrain from any socializing if you can help it.

Ordinarily, it takes awhile to be able to reach this point. Family members are the hardest to dump but sometimes it has to be done. When the light switches on in your brain and you are strong enough, you'll do it. I did it--after TWENTY-FIVE YEARS! And this was with my father. It can be done but you have to work towards that goal.
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Old 02-17-2008, 05:48 AM
 
265 posts, read 602,294 times
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Apparently, " toxic" to some people mean depressing and negative.
Toxic to me means: aggressive, excessive braggarts, better then thou,
and toxic gossips.
These characters are untrainable, they will wear you down and out.
They usually are in the ranks of :
obnoxious co-workers, neighbors or crappy family members.
Strangers you can ignore and distance yourself.
Neighbors? Be not home ..unplug the phone, get caller ID, be " out", avoid
whenever...
co-workers? Oh boy, that's tough; watch your back, treat them as you
would a coiled rattler
Family? get distance...lots of distance

Here's a suggestion that I read a while ago , but it takes practice:
Say you're invited to something you don't want to go to.
Don't make a thousand excuses; make it brief and barely
plausible.
If the other person doubts; you're in control,
even if the other person sees you later clearly not ( say at the doctor's ) but sees you out and
about town, so what.
That should stop all invitations.
If not, repeat.

Last edited by waiting; 02-17-2008 at 06:09 AM..
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Old 02-17-2008, 01:01 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,306,817 times
Reputation: 6943
wow. I get that a lot. Really hurts my feelings to not have a discussion or conversation about what the issue is.

sounds manipulative on your part to lie anyways. I would just say "Hey, from experience I don't think we get along at work. Maybe we shouldn't hang out". Or "first we need to have a discussion and get some things straightened out". I respect honesty vs. a lie.

Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting View Post
Here's a suggestion that I read a while ago , but it takes practice:
Say you're invited to something you don't want to go to.
Don't make a thousand excuses; make it brief and barely
plausible.
If the other person doubts; you're in control,
even if the other person sees you later clearly not ( say at the doctor's ) but sees you out and
about town, so what.
That should stop all invitations.
If not, repeat.
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Old 02-17-2008, 04:23 PM
 
265 posts, read 602,294 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
wow. I get that a lot. Really hurts my feelings to not have a discussion or conversation about what the issue is.

sounds manipulative on your part to lie anyways. I would just say "Hey, from experience I don't think we get along at work. Maybe we shouldn't hang out". Or "first we need to have a discussion and get some things straightened out". I respect honesty vs. a lie.
I'm terribly sorry you've had trouble.
In a relationship, talking it out honestly is really the best ideal, but we are talking about toxic people .
People that are manipulative by using aggression, using excessive bragging, using gossip for " revenge "; these people are toxic and a little self defense is okay, don't you agree?
You can go ahead and try to talk things out with co-workers, neighbors and family members that are toxic, but for me; it's never worked.
Maybe someone at CD has talked things out with a toxic person and it stuck and maybe they can show us the way it might work; I can't.
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