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Oh I see. You mean like a person who is a bit sociopathic or a bit borderline.
Ya, if they are always toxic. Then ya I guess you can't do much but avoid or make things up.
I just hate it when it is used on me and I have no clue what is going on. I'll be like hey is their a problem because we can talk about it and the responses are usually "hey no way, it is just I am soo busy." eggghh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting
I'm terribly sorry you've had trouble.
In a relationship, talking it out honestly is really the best ideal, but we are talking about toxic people .
People that are manipulative by using aggression, using excessive bragging, using gossip for " revenge "; these people are toxic and a little self defense is okay, don't you agree?
You can go ahead and try to talk things out with co-workers, neighbors and family members that are toxic, but for me; it's never worked.
Maybe someone at CD has talked things out with a toxic person and it stuck and maybe they can show us the way it might work; I can't.
I just hate it when it is used on me and I have no clue what is going on. I'll be like hey is their a problem because we can talk about it and the responses are usually "hey no way, it is just I am soo busy." eggghh.[/quote]
Look at it this way, Artsyguy; Better to get the brush off early on then to be strung along for a while and lose out on time, money and opportunities to be available to meet someone that you would really have a lot in common with.
if i was you just tell them how you feel dont sit them down or be nice to them if they are making you feel like that just give them a taste of their own medicine and then stay away from them.
if i was you just tell them how you feel dont sit them down or be nice to them if they are making you feel like that just give them a taste of their own medicine and then stay away from them.
hali, that sounds like a great ideal in theory but I've told off toxic people and
the first thing on their minds is revenge. ( more so then usual ..a big finale of revenge ) I think we all strive for toxic people to go away.. not to go away mad.
...... I have to disengage myself from this person, in order to have the type of life I want........
After almost 2 years, I have also come to this conclusion. These words look SO beautiful to me right now, I can hardly put it into words.
My boss of almost 2 years has been making my worklife a very acidic place for waaay too long. I bring it home, I'm miserable & I've had enough.
I handled him for quite long enough by just letting the crap roll off my back. It didn't bother me for a good chunk of time, I'm pretty easy going.
BUT there came a time when every time I was in his presence my mental health went into a coma. That's when I knew I needed a change, bc I knew he wasn't going to change. He suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, yeah, the sorry feelings are there, but on the other hand I knew that's not MY problem & definately NOT something that I should have to deal with on a daily basis.
This past Friday 2/15 I confronted him in a very respectful & professional manner, considering he is my Superior & the conversation gone argument was a trainwreck. I felt like I was trying to explain something to a 4 year old. I stood my ground, said my piece, stayed focused & made a darn good point. The one woman who overheard us told me that I was the first to ever stand up against him.
Well, my last day is the 29th & my body feels so at peace.
VERY TOXIC man!!
Coldwine: I am working in a team that is somewhat toxic. Most of the time they rudely disagree with me and or ignore my comments. I pretty much try to AVOID them at all costs and let them control the work load and do all the work. IF they don't want my input then I won't give it to them. I get to sit back and chill.
Quote:
Originally Posted by coldwine
I find that I run into them at work all the time.
There's nothing you can really do about it. Disassociate yourself as much as possible. I "deal with it" by just... not doing anything.
My aunt and her son is incredibly toxic, and they seem to wake up in the morning with the soul goal to make you as miserable as possible. Almost to the point of suicide. I even think they would hand me the knife if I just asked them...
Toxic people, I wish there were less of them, but they seem to be everywhere...
I'll tell you what, it's those gray skies. Get a low-cost flight to Mallorca or the Canaries and sit under the sun with an umbrella drink in your hand and forget about them.
Believe it or not, I am a conflict avoider. At work, I shut the door or look into my computer, doing my work. I don't get into the office crap except with the people that are in my "lunch bunch." They fill me in. I'm too detail oriented and precise to be bothered with distractions caused by troublemakers.
When someone decides to strike, I strike back. I never take the first hit. I am proud of that. In a few situations, I've changed companies because it couldn't be fixed. Not fun, but it had to be done. However, I made sure that I exposed things to those who needed to know upon departure, causing a few high paid individuals to lose their jobs. What goes around comes around.
We have to have principles and fight for what is right and for our dignity. I am of Mediterranean descent and not Scandinavian descent such as yourself, so I am not afraid to make a scene or let people know where I stand. Do not allow yourself to be trampled on.
I cut them out of my life, like I have my DIL and son...and grand daughter....that women is the rudest, most self imposed woman I have ever met....and I used to see them very little...you'd think she could control herself for a few days anyway. She acts so sweet to me in front of him, and then behind my back, man oh man, is she a mean woman. And she's beautiful, but has nothing inside. I don't believe she can be helped, but refuse, and won't allow her to treat me like that, or anyone for that matter again. Of course, deep down in my son's heart of hearts...he knows...but the way he has treated me and yelled at me about it...well, it cut pretty deep...irrepairable....
I think though, after the way she's treated me....she was shocked that I lasted 10 years....she has severe major problems...she knows exactly how to get what she wants...she lies...and is so aloof...and is costing my son his life...I can't even imagine who my grand daughter will grow up to be like? She is already starting to be like her mother, that far off uninterested stare.
My daughter in law, doesn't care who she inconveniences or hurts...she has no conscience....but very, very cleaver, calculating and just down right mean.
So, I've cut them all out of my life...there is always an emptiness there, but actually, it's much better then walking on egg shells and constantly trying to prove to her that I am not threat. They live far away, which is good...not to mention, I never interferred. She draws this imaginary line, and you don't ever get across....I'm better for the entire ordeal...and, at least I know I tried.
You can feel sorry for someone so long, and then, enough is enough...I won't tollerate those kind of people in my life...
Just had to vent....
Creme
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