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Old 01-29-2011, 07:13 PM
 
3,573 posts, read 5,474,119 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
As someone who has struggled with depression, anxiety and mood issues your post hits me hard Celtic. I'm sure my husband could have written almost the same thing (though I'm not on medications and I am better at handling things now).

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I agree about seeking support from a third party. I also want to let you know that your wife is probably feeling as guilty and "bad" as you are feeling upset. I'm sure she knows that how she is acting is wrong but she can't seem to stop herself from spewing hateful words and acting out in such a negative way. Now, I am not saying this as an attempt to get you to accept the behaviors she is displaying. I'm merely saying that I'm sure she loves you and that her mental issues are as frustrating to her, as they are to you.
Sorry, I have to respectfully disagree. I have a mother that is mental ill and she is very hard on me with her words and her past physical actions on me. She is very self absorbed and self centered and does not see what she does to others. I'm not saying that all mental ill people are like. But my mother's family, there are many, many members that have the mental illness gene from her mother's side. They are all like that, very self absorbed and self centered. I don't know if it's the illness or another character flaw in them.

But it could be that his wife is not like that OR it could be that she is. Only time will tell. In the meantime, it's one thing to be patient with her but he needs to look out for himself too. He needs a refuge from her and hopefully he can find a support group for himself.

I'm also hoping that he can confine in his family about his situation and also get her family involved in helping him with her. Also the minister that married these two recently needs to get involved since he should NEVER have married them.
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Old 01-29-2011, 07:58 PM
 
28,180 posts, read 19,802,147 times
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Originally Posted by donie1 View Post
Sorry, I have to respectfully disagree. I have a mother that is mental ill and she is very hard on me with her words and her past physical actions on me. She is very self absorbed and self centered and does not see what she does to others. I'm not saying that all mental ill people are like. But my mother's family, there are many, many members that have the mental illness gene from her mother's side. They are all like that, very self absorbed and self centered. I don't know if it's the illness or another character flaw in them.

But it could be that his wife is not like that OR it could be that she is. Only time will tell. In the meantime, it's one thing to be patient with her but he needs to look out for himself too. He needs a refuge from her and hopefully he can find a support group for himself.

I'm also hoping that he can confine in his family about his situation and also get her family involved in helping him with her. Also the minister that married these two recently needs to get involved since he should NEVER have married them.
How does any of this prove that people with mental illness don't feel bad about how they act? Or feel guilt about how much they put their loved ones through?
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Old 01-31-2011, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Anchorage, Ak
1,413 posts, read 2,622,837 times
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Even though this isn't the advice you're looking for, I hope you find the courage to leave this relationship some day. You can not fix an abusive person.
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:00 PM
 
3,573 posts, read 5,474,119 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
How does any of this prove that people with mental illness don't feel bad about how they act? Or feel guilt about how much they put their loved ones through?
Some do and some don't. I guess I shouldn't have said people with mental illness because it seems that I'm saying everyone that has mental illness and that's not true.

So you're right. Not all people with mental illness are self absorbed or self centered.
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