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Old 06-06-2013, 07:56 AM
 
9,343 posts, read 8,732,469 times
Reputation: 14370

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifesprecious09 View Post
Someone I know is like this. He will not let me speak. He will speak over me and keep going until he gets out what he has to say, after that the conversation has to be over because he said so. He wants to switch the subject. Anytime we have a petty argument or disagreement about something he has to speak loud and never cares what anyone else has to say long as he states his opinion. I really try to avoid arguing with with him, but he will say things that P'd you off and you can't say anything back to him because he can't handle criticism. Why is he that way? Do you anyone like this?
My suggestion is to avoid a rude egotistic person like him. Why waste your time even trying to figure him out?
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Old 06-06-2013, 12:07 PM
 
2,787 posts, read 1,521,652 times
Reputation: 3102
Quote:
Originally Posted by walkingoneggshells View Post
My husband has always liked to talk and weave stories. In the past, he seemed to have somewhat of a sense of propriety. He was well liked and friendly. Last year he lost his job after a conflict with his director - it was unexpected and seemed to cause a plummet in self esteem. At first, I was 100% supportive and nuturing. Instead of mourning the loss and getting back on his feet, he spent 7 months playing video games, gaining 25 lbs, and avoiding any discussion that mentioned finances or problem solving. He had plenty of energy to things he enjoyed - but sending out resumes were not one of those things. He has finally landed a new job, mostly by shear luck, for which I am grateful. However, he has developed over this time off incessant borish focus on his life as a "wild" youth - he talks non stop about subjects no one is interested in because we have heard them 200 times. He avoids responsibility, interrupts me and the entire family without apology - talks over the top of us - remembers almost nothing we talk about - even really essential family business things. He refuses counseling or seeing a physician. He reject the prospect that he may be depressed. I am terrified he will loose the new job too - if he keeps on with this behavior. Our children can't stand to be in the same room with him and I hate going home after work. Is there any hope?
I so totally empathize. Though not exactly probs. with self-esteem, or losing his job, my Dh behavior is ver y close. I suspect he is not hearing so well so it is easier to talk than listen, it seems like a conversation. But he says his docotr says there is no probs with hos hearing. He could never come to the point and will meander off, it is getting worse now. It is quite painful and excruciatingly boring to talk to him. I really would like to help him cure this but short of being critical I don't know what to do.
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Old 06-07-2013, 11:13 PM
 
Location: Canada
3,673 posts, read 2,481,389 times
Reputation: 4733
Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
I suspect he is not hearing so well so it is easier to talk than listen, it seems like a conversation. But he says his docotr says there is no probs with hos hearing.
How would the doctor know? If he's a GP, his office unlikely to be equipped to do a proper hearing test.

My elderly mother has worn hearing aids for several years and I go with her every year to have her hearing re-tested. She sits in a soundproof booth with headphones on and repeats words out loud that are spoken into her headphones.

A tip-off to a hearing problem is a too loud TV.

Modern hearing aids are flesh coloured, come in different sizes and are really inconspicuous unless you're looking for them.
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Old 06-09-2013, 09:21 AM
 
2,787 posts, read 1,521,652 times
Reputation: 3102
Quote:
Originally Posted by stressedCollegeGirl89 View Post
Unfortunately, I .) It's not that I don't want to hear others opinions and thoughts....I do. In fact, I love to hear another person's thoughts and ideas and feelings on any subject. It's just that I have trouble expressing my thoughts in a short and concise manner.

Your friend really needs to learn how to handle criticism well and should not start the fire if he can't handle the heat in the kitchen, so to speak.
It is nice that you are self-aware. That is half the battle . How have you changed the way you express your thoughts now?
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Old 01-08-2015, 08:58 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,550 times
Reputation: 10
How should my mother handle this? She goes to Christmas to her daughter's, son-in-law, granddaughter (19) and grandson's house (25) house (they live an hour away) every year. This year after opening gifts and being there for only 2 hours my mother found out that no food had been prepared for her and that they were leaving to go to her son-in-laws sister house down the street. They did make food to bring there. My mother left immediately and cried all the way home. How should she treat her daughter now?
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Old 01-08-2015, 09:56 AM
 
2,731 posts, read 1,211,360 times
Reputation: 2089
[quote=evilnewbie;18463540]I am sorry, I must be your boyfriend, because you just described me...quote]

Nice pick up line
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Old 01-08-2015, 10:09 AM
 
2,731 posts, read 1,211,360 times
Reputation: 2089
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifesprecious09 View Post
Someone I know is like this. He will not let me speak. He will speak over me and keep going until he gets out what he has to say, after that the conversation has to be over because he said so. He wants to switch the subject. Anytime we have a petty argument or disagreement about something he has to speak loud and never cares what anyone else has to say long as he states his opinion. I really try to avoid arguing with with him, but he will say things that P'd you off and you can't say anything back to him because he can't handle criticism. Why is he that way? Do you anyone like this?
If he is someone important to you, you can keep silent. I have read somewhere that those persons need care and affection. Look for his good side.

If he is not important to you, you can use these words " You always have the last word", " what ever you say is right", use satire or PJ on him until he gets pissed off. You can forward some McD verbal fight videos and say "FYI"..
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Old 01-08-2015, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Colorado
9,734 posts, read 6,265,376 times
Reputation: 17549
I have this same problem. I don't speak "short and to the point." It's even bad in my forum posts more often than not. But I was raised with conversational manners. As a kid I was not allowed to just interrupt people and was taught to give others the chance to speak, and even to encourage shy people by asking questions and paying attention. Sometimes if there was a point I was having trouble making, and others took the floor, and it's something I really wanted to get across, I'll revive it a little later and put the wraps on my thought...I don't like to feel as though I'm dominating the conversation. And indeed in the company I keep, I am rarely permitted to do so.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stressedCollegeGirl89 View Post
Unfortunately, I am one of those people who just can't shut up sometimes! However, I've recently been catching myself and letting others have a chance to speak more during a conversation. I apologize to the other person when I notice that I'm not letting them get many chances to speak and when I just ramble on about stuff. (I tend to get lost in my ramblings.) It's not that I don't want to hear others opinions and thoughts....I do. In fact, I love to hear another person's thoughts and ideas and feelings on any subject. It's just that I have trouble expressing my thoughts in a short and concise manner.

Your friend really needs to learn how to handle criticism well and should not start the fire if he can't handle the heat in the kitchen, so to speak.
My husband on the other hand is like this person's SO:

Quote:
Originally Posted by walkingoneggshells View Post
My husband has always liked to talk and weave stories. In the past, he seemed to have somewhat of a sense of propriety. He was well liked and friendly. Last year he lost his job after a conflict with his director - it was unexpected and seemed to cause a plummet in self esteem. At first, I was 100% supportive and nuturing. Instead of mourning the loss and getting back on his feet, he spent 7 months playing video games, gaining 25 lbs, and avoiding any discussion that mentioned finances or problem solving. He had plenty of energy to things he enjoyed - but sending out resumes were not one of those things. He has finally landed a new job, mostly by shear luck, for which I am grateful. However, he has developed over this time off incessant borish focus on his life as a "wild" youth - he talks non stop about subjects no one is interested in because we have heard them 200 times. He avoids responsibility, interrupts me and the entire family without apology - talks over the top of us - remembers almost nothing we talk about - even really essential family business things. He refuses counseling or seeing a physician. He reject the prospect that he may be depressed. I am terrified he will loose the new job too - if he keeps on with this behavior. Our children can't stand to be in the same room with him and I hate going home after work. Is there any hope?
...only mine has been unemployed for over a year, but gets a little disability money. He has been a teller of the same stories, often of his "glory days" for a very long time, and it's only getting worse as he gets older. Pot smoking or alcohol drinking makes it about 1,000x worse as well. I have a hard time getting mine to do responsible things or care about important adult obligations. I talk to him and he feels bad, but yeah it's a bit like having a third kid in the house, only one that will never grow up or move out. Honestly, I have no hope of it getting better, despite his contrition when I point out problems. Choice is to either live with it and deal with it, accept him....or leave. Personally I can cope for another handful of years for my kids' sake, and I will. But you must make your own decisions.

Mine will not consider therapy, so I have no idea if it would help.

Mine also talks over me and other people, to the extent of raising his voice to compete for the floor if someone else is trying to get a word in. He's not the only guy in our group that does this. And all of our friends are aware of it, it's to the point if he interrupts me while I'm talking I look at one of his buddies and we both roll our eyes and laugh at him. He is oblivious.
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Old 03-20-2016, 09:04 PM
 
1 posts, read 985 times
Reputation: 10
What if it's a woman who won't let you say anything? It makes me like a sponge. I'm holding in so much I'm waiting to say, I just want to say it all in one breath how I'm bottled up feeling like my words are insignificant. Like that sponge, when it's full of water, soon it'll drip. Trying to find ways to wring myself out before it begins to pour.
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Old 03-20-2016, 11:04 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,756,161 times
Reputation: 17451
Quote:
Originally Posted by J. Quick View Post
What if it's a woman who won't let you say anything? It makes me like a sponge. I'm holding in so much I'm waiting to say, I just want to say it all in one breath how I'm bottled up feeling like my words are insignificant. Like that sponge, when it's full of water, soon it'll drip. Trying to find ways to wring myself out before it begins to pour.
No suggestions here in a 5 yr old thread. This one borders on abuse.
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