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Old 06-11-2011, 11:39 AM
 
525 posts, read 1,248,842 times
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like when you sense something about them and you say like it is to them how you feel. I told a guy I've known for a long time that he seemed depressed based on how he's been acting and looks. he got defensive and went off about that and something else because he had me worried.
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Old 06-11-2011, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Arizona
563 posts, read 1,269,650 times
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I could see a depressed person taking offense to someone acknowledging their problem. Call it part of being depressed. You don't want to admit there is something wrong. And even so, depression can cause you to get emotional and act 'irrationally'.
Give him a break over his reaction. Apologize to him with something along the lines of, "I'm sorry I offended you. I'm a little worried about you and I'm just trying to help you. If I was depressed, I'd want someone to help me. So forgive me if I'm wrong, but know that I'm here for you if you need anything. Talk to me. I just want to be a good friend!"

If he's resisting help, the only thing you can really do is keep an eye out for him, and continue to try to help him, even if you have to help him behind his back, if that even makes sense.

You could call one of those help numbers and talk to someone about him. They could probably give you better advise on how to handle it.

You can say this to him even - if something were to happen to him and you didn't even try to help, how would that make you feel?
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Old 06-11-2011, 12:10 PM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,274,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCountrycm View Post
like when you sense something about them and you say like it is to them how you feel. I told a guy I've known for a long time that he seemed depressed based on how he's been acting and looks. he got defensive and went off about that and something else because he had me worried.
How about sorting your own life out first before you go around commenting about other people. In my experience folks don't like a self righteous person telling them anything.
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Old 06-11-2011, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 21,981,509 times
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Like, when someone gets defensive when you say something "negative" towards them, then like, I don`t blame them for getting defensive.
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Old 06-11-2011, 01:16 PM
 
525 posts, read 1,248,842 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SallyLynn812 View Post
I could see a depressed person taking offense to someone acknowledging their problem. Call it part of being depressed. You don't want to admit there is something wrong. And even so, depression can cause you to get emotional and act 'irrationally'.
Give him a break over his reaction. Apologize to him with something along the lines of, "I'm sorry I offended you. I'm a little worried about you and I'm just trying to help you. If I was depressed, I'd want someone to help me. So forgive me if I'm wrong, but know that I'm here for you if you need anything. Talk to me. I just want to be a good friend!"

If he's resisting help, the only thing you can really do is keep an eye out for him, and continue to try to help him, even if you have to help him behind his back, if that even makes sense.

You could call one of those help numbers and talk to someone about him. They could probably give you better advise on how to handle it.

You can say this to him even - if something were to happen to him and you didn't even try to help, how would that make you feel?
I know him well enough that he won't get help
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Old 06-11-2011, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,416 posts, read 25,200,334 times
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One thing that really irks me are the people who pride themselves in "calling it how it is and not caring what people think" but in reality they are just *******s.
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Old 06-11-2011, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 18,850,303 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCountrycm View Post
like when you sense something about them and you say like it is to them how you feel. I told a guy I've known for a long time that he seemed depressed based on how he's been acting and looks. he got defensive and went off about that and something else because he had me worried.
Oh, I'M defensive?!? YOU'RE the one who started this - yeah, YOU! You want a piece of me?!? C'mon!!!

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Old 06-11-2011, 01:31 PM
 
525 posts, read 1,248,842 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
Oh, I'M defensive?!? YOU'RE the one who started this - yeah, YOU! You want a piece of me?!? C'mon!!!

Just so you know when he started getting defensive, I told him I was sorry. So it didn't get dragged on at all. I try to avoid arguments
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Old 06-11-2011, 01:32 PM
 
525 posts, read 1,248,842 times
Reputation: 403
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
One thing that really irks me are the people who pride themselves in "calling it how it is and not caring what people think" but in reality they are just *******s.
so that would be me?
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Old 06-11-2011, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 18,850,303 times
Reputation: 8655
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCountrycm View Post
Just so you know when he started getting defensive, I told him I was sorry. So it didn't get dragged on at all. I try to avoid arguments
Good for you - you defused the situation, at least partially.

And the lesson you learned was ... ?
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