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My mother is high strung. She can freak out on a whim. Either in rage or crying fits. As I have gotten older I have lost my patience with it. It makes me feel guilty because she is my mom but it wears on me really fast. As she has gotten older, it has become worse. I hate that type of unpredictability. Another personality trait I can't stand is a bad tone of voice. My sister is famous for this. She never really learned how to talk to people. I hate going shopping or eating out with her. If a sales person walks up and asks if we need help, my sister will turn and say "ahhh NOO." Her tone is so nasty. The salesperson scurries off and then about 10 minutes later my sister is pissed that the salesperson didnt come back or isn't around when she finally decided she does need some help.
Maybe your mother is depressed or otherwise mentally on the edge. If you can't convince her to get help, maybe a one-time visit with a counselor for you would help you deal with her.