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Old 09-11-2011, 03:58 PM
 
279 posts, read 288,299 times
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This phenomenon of people talking "at" you was discussed in a previous thread.

THIS thread is meant to ask, WHAT DO YOU DO when people talk "at" you, not "with" you?

I was hanging with a buddy yesterday, and we picked up his wife and went to visit another couple who are friends of theirs. I chatted with the wife of the other couple because we had some things in common (lived in the same city overseas) and she slipped into "monologue mode." At some point, I lost interest in what she was saying, and instead became fascinated by her ability to continue talking at length without ending a sentence or taking in any noticeable amount of oxygen.

So I was wondering what people do when you find yourselves in this situation. Have you found a way to get such persons to make a two-way conversation? Note that I couldn't just walk away because I was accompanying a friend to go meet some of his friends.

Here's a relevant quote from another thread, something about younger people having poor communications skills due to today's electronic social environment. But the lady I mentioned is in her 40s.

Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
There's no substitution for real communication, an actual conversation Many people don't actually don't have the skills to hold real conversations, I think in part because of texting.
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Old 09-11-2011, 05:07 PM
 
663 posts, read 909,325 times
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I have been in your situation and with people my age and older (I'm 40). I try to steer the conversation towards its hopefully quick end. Especially if it's a person who does this all the time. Unfortunately I seem to know way too many of these types. I try to be polite and friendly about it because I hate hurting feelings.

It's hard to say what to do if you can't walk away. You could look for a small pause to work into another subject? Either they will take that subject and run with it too, or perhaps they will lose interest in talking about anything. Maybe the latter wouldn't be so bad.

With younger people, I have noticed a lot of self-centeredness in conversation. My 19yo, and especially my 20yo, are like this. They are also ones to text, a lot. I try to remind my 20yo to take a breath here and there; of course, I try to not be rude about it.....but it does drive me a little nuts.
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Old 09-11-2011, 05:12 PM
 
Location: So Cal
38,828 posts, read 38,034,185 times
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I used to know someone like that.

This guy was a completely obnoxious boor.

He passed a few yrs ago, and I gotta say, it's been nice not having to listen to him orate all the damn time.

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Old 09-11-2011, 05:25 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,460 posts, read 6,479,650 times
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Classic narsistic behavior...I know a close family member is one! I just tune out but if it was someone I could avoid I would do so!!
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Old 09-11-2011, 06:21 PM
 
12,465 posts, read 14,612,280 times
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What do I do??Usually let it go in one ear and out the other!
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Old 09-11-2011, 07:50 PM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,373,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hans63 View Post
At some point, I lost interest in what she was saying, and instead became fascinated by her ability to continue talking at length without ending a sentence or taking in any noticeable amount of oxygen.

Note that I couldn't just walk away because I was accompanying a friend to go meet some of his friends.
I think you handled it the best way considering your note.
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Old 09-11-2011, 07:53 PM
 
Location: So Cal
38,828 posts, read 38,034,185 times
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I often wonder how people can be so completely and utterly clueless and be so rude to talk at nonstop speeds and not being a two way communication.

I mean, everyone universally doesn't like a dyckhead like that.

The question is, "How can someone not see that they are acting like a dyckhead."

Shocking and amazing at times.
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Old 09-11-2011, 08:19 PM
 
1,248 posts, read 1,837,728 times
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I get annoyed and try to avoid someone so condescending in the future. Honestly, though, that is one of the minor obstacles in life.
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Old 09-11-2011, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Middle America
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Sit through it once, and avoid thereafter.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:41 AM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
181 posts, read 272,394 times
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I have found that these types don't stop unless you interupt to say something. And appropriately they don't mind being interupted and seem to like it when you're more assertive and participate. I feel a little rude about it, but I don't want to give up the friendship and I don't want to feel like I've been run over by a mac truck at the end of the conversation either. So, I interupt and force it to be two ways.
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