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Old 10-03-2011, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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I thought I'd start a new thread about what it means to process our feelings...Sometimes it takes awhile to get in touch with all of our feelings. Certain feelings might come up right away and other feelings may be "buried" and harder to access right at first...Have you noticed this?
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Old 10-03-2011, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
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In each moment there are thoughts and feelings and sometimes emotions.
Just being present and aware (and cultivating presence and awareness as part of ones evolutionary process) is all that is needed.
"Digging" for what is "beneath the surface" is motivated by the intellect and is, imo, unnatural and unhealthy.
Again, cultivation of presence and awareness is key and whatever needs attention will be or will become apparent.
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Old 10-04-2011, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaijai View Post
In each moment there are thoughts and feelings and sometimes emotions.
Just being present and aware (and cultivating presence and awareness as part of ones evolutionary process) is all that is needed.
"Digging" for what is "beneath the surface" is motivated by the intellect and is, imo, unnatural and unhealthy.
Again, cultivation of presence and awareness is key and whatever needs attention will be or will become apparent.
I'm a "digger!" If I just "skim the surface" I won't have all of the pieces to the puzzle!...Sometimes a current situation may trigger "old feelings" and "wounds" from the past that need to be examined and "healed."...I want to "dig deep" so I won't miss or overlook anything. I can't make wise decisions in my life if I "stuff" or "bury" my emotions and "block" aspects of my awareness.
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
I'm a "digger!" If I just "skim the surface" I won't have all of the pieces to the puzzle!...Sometimes a current situation may trigger "old feelings" and "wounds" from the past that need to be examined and "healed."...I want to "dig deep" so I won't miss or overlook anything. I can't make wise decisions in my life if I "stuff" or "bury" my emotions and "block" aspects of my awareness.
I wasn't suggesting superficiality / vapidity and certainly was talking about burying or blocking ... just the opposite.
The more present and aware one is, the more capacity there is to experience the depths.
With expanded and / or "piercing" awareness it is not possible to hide from the truth.
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Old 10-04-2011, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
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Originally Posted by jaijai View Post
I wasn't suggesting superficiality / vapidity and certainly was talking about burying or blocking ... just the opposite.
The more present and aware one is, the more capacity there is to experience the depths.
With expanded and / or "piercing" awareness it is not possible to hide from the truth.

It's too late to edit but that sentence above should say "and was certainly NOT talking about burying or blocking ... "
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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Sometimes guilt or fear plays a role when it comes to letting ourselves "feel all." We consciously or unconsciously put up "blocks" or create a "wall of denial" to hold certain feelings "back."...This is why some people turn to therapists at some point. They need help to access feelings that have been "blocked" or "buried" for various reasons throughout their life.
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Old 10-05-2011, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Sometimes guilt or fear plays a role when it comes to letting ourselves "feel all." We consciously or unconsciously put up "blocks" or create a "wall of denial" to hold certain feelings "back."...This is why some people turn to therapists at some point. They need help to access feelings that have been "blocked" or "buried" for various reasons throughout their life.
That's a belief and it (the kind of therapy you're referring to) is an approach.
Although that therapeutic paradigm, from where i sit now and from my own experience, is limited at best.
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Old 10-05-2011, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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Originally Posted by jaijai View Post
That's a belief and it (the kind of therapy you're referring to) is an approach.
Although that therapeutic paradigm, from where i sit now and from my own experience, is limited at best.
We all have different beliefs. Some things make sense to us and other ideas and theories just don't interest us or "ring true" to us. This is what makes each of us a "unique individual" in our very own right! And this is good! Just think how bored we'd be if we were all "clones" and "carbon copies" of each other!
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Old 10-06-2011, 07:49 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
I thought I'd start a new thread about what it means to process our feelings...Sometimes it takes awhile to get in touch with all of our feelings. Certain feelings might come up right away and other feelings may be "buried" and harder to access right at first...Have you noticed this?
You pretty much described the basis of psychotherapy in your post. Psychotherapy has built an entire service industry on the fact that people are not truly in touch with what they are feeling.

It also comes up in the concept of "mindfulness". Some people I know have their phones set off a little bell at intervals to remind them to stop and assess exactly what they are feeling at that moment.

An interesting thing I read years ago was that anger and fear are the other side of each other. If you are angry, ask yourself, "what am I afraid of?" and if you feel fearful, ask yourself "what am I angry about?" I've tried this sometimes, and often the answer is surprising and brings me a little more insight about myself.
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Old 10-06-2011, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,182,546 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
You pretty much described the basis of psychotherapy in your post. Psychotherapy has built an entire service industry on the fact that people are not truly in touch with what they are feeling.

It also comes up in the concept of "mindfulness". Some people I know have their phones set off a little bell at intervals to remind them to stop and assess exactly what they are feeling at that moment.

An interesting thing I read years ago was that anger and fear are the other side of each other. If you are angry, ask yourself, "what am I afraid of?" and if you feel fearful, ask yourself "what am I angry about?" I've tried this sometimes, and often the answer is surprising and brings me a little more insight about myself.
I think it's important to "take inventory" every so often (too) so we don't get "lost" when it comes to our emotions...When I was growing up my parents paid attention to how I "acted" and "seemed" when I came home from school or when I came back from playing with friends etc...If I seemed "down" or "off" my parents tried to encourage me to talk about my feelings. (In a caring way.)...My husband grew up in a big family with lots of kids. Both of his parents worked. No one paid attention to how he "seemed" when he came home from school so he didn't have an outlet to talk about his experiences and feelings very often as a child. His family relied on TV for entertainment every night...There was very little "personal conversation." Everyone just laughed "on cue" when they watched sit-coms...My husband always felt like a "weirdo" and misfit in his family because he wanted to talk more and work to understand his feelings.
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