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Old 01-15-2012, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Cambridge, MA
156 posts, read 607,225 times
Reputation: 130

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackandgold51 View Post
Don't they know the hardships of having a child? Especially the way the world is today.

They should know that raising a child takes a lot of hard work and patience with lots of energy, and is expensive. Why don't they enjoy their lives now and wait later on when their really ready?

And thanks to T.V. "reality shows" like Teen Mom, teenagers girls want to do the same by getting pregnant early.
It is more of a financial trouble to quit a high paying job in your late 30s or mid-40s (if you even get to this point because women in the business world are expected to forgo any personal life) to start a family.

When you are young, you have no huge income to lose.
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Old 01-15-2012, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Cambridge, MA
156 posts, read 607,225 times
Reputation: 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Hardships?

They know no hardships. They get lots of food stamps, WIC coupons, free babysitting at the Head Start with free meals there for their kids.

They will be given all the Medicaid they could want, they don't have to pay a dime for their prenatal, postnatal care and hospital stay. Babies are cute, almost like little dolls, and when they cost you nothing, and you're even given cash in the form of TANF, what could be better?
And lots of well-off people in their 30s, 40s and 50s get lots of money, loans, incentives, tax credits, special rules, etc to "stimulate the economy by starting a business".

Are you going to complain about that? I doubt it.

Proponents claims all this governmental intervention is necessary because small businesses create the most jobs. Who cares that this goes against the small government ideals the candidates run on. Unfortunately, they fail to mention that small businesses are the number one job destroyers as well.

But the second someone suggests that we give children healthcare, those people come out screaming "government is inefficient, wasteful and should not offer these [life-saving] benefits".


So it's not really state welfare that you are against, just welfare of which you do not agree with, right? In other words, long live the conservative nanny state.
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:02 PM
 
232 posts, read 116,740 times
Reputation: 76
Me and my wife had our first when she was 20 and I was 22. We now have 2 and 1 on the way she is 25 I am 27. Its been hard but fun at the same time. If I could turn things around I would have waited and I know she would have as well.
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:10 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,535 posts, read 29,272,174 times
Reputation: 21282
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackandgold51 View Post
Don't they know the hardships of having a child? Especially the way the world is today.

They should know that raising a child takes a lot of hard work and patience with lots of energy, and is expensive. Why don't they enjoy their lives now and wait later on when their really ready?

And thanks to T.V. "reality shows" like Teen Mom, teenagers girls want to do the same by getting pregnant early.
A lot of younger people grew up in day-care with no one to give them a kiss or a hug when they felt sad, lonely, angry - and so they ended up deprived of the only really important thing in life - LOVE. Their mother was more interested in a "career" than in raising a happy, healthy child.

And so now, in a futile effort to fill that great, gaping hole that was created as a result of not having sufficient affection as an infant and child, the young person hopes that having a "child who will always love them" will make them feel better.

Sadly, it doesn't.

Just my opinion, of course.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 01-16-2012, 10:16 AM
 
Location: here
24,476 posts, read 28,773,973 times
Reputation: 31056
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
A lot of younger people grew up in day-care with no one to give them a kiss or a hug when they felt sad, lonely, angry - and so they ended up deprived of the only really important thing in life - LOVE. Their mother was more interested in a "career" than in raising a happy, healthy child.

And so now, in a futile effort to fill that great, gaping hole that was created as a result of not having sufficient affection as an infant and child, the young person hopes that having a "child who will always love them" will make them feel better.

Sadly, it doesn't.

Just my opinion, of course.

20yrsinBranson
It is possible to love and raise a happy, healthy child and work. It's not like everyone who had a working mom ends up pregnant by 20.
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Old 01-16-2012, 05:12 PM
 
175 posts, read 244,773 times
Reputation: 268
Oh, no, Mephie and RKB, don't add rationality and common sense to this discussion!
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Old 01-16-2012, 06:01 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,019,169 times
Reputation: 42372
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
A lot of younger people grew up in day-care with no one to give them a kiss or a hug when they felt sad, lonely, angry - and so they ended up deprived of the only really important thing in life - LOVE. Their mother was more interested in a "career" than in raising a happy, healthy child.

And so now, in a futile effort to fill that great, gaping hole that was created as a result of not having sufficient affection as an infant and child, the young person hopes that having a "child who will always love them" will make them feel better.

Sadly, it doesn't.

Just my opinion, of course.

20yrsinBranson
But you are blissfully childfree, as you like to say. It probably makes as much sense for you to guess why young women want children as it would for me to guess why some women don't.
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Old 01-18-2012, 11:20 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,363 posts, read 50,627,712 times
Reputation: 60288
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
It is possible to love and raise a happy, healthy child and work. It's not like everyone who had a working mom ends up pregnant by 20.
Haha, this made me laugh. I was a single mom since my daughter was 8, and I always had to work. There was no choice. My daughter is 20. She certainly isn't pregnant nor will she become pregnant. As a matter of fact, she doesn't even like children and may never have any. The birth control talks took place long ago. She's a geek--loves school, loves to travel, just came back from studying in Asia. She speaks Spanish and Mandarin fluently plus some Russian and some Sichuan. I don't think my having to work to support us destroyed her mind.

As to the OP's "these days" about women having children in their 20's--my mother was married at 20 and had her first child at 21. Same for my grandmother. I was married at 31, had my daughter at 33. It's WAITING to have a child later that is the societal change, not the other way around.
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Old 01-18-2012, 11:26 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,019,169 times
Reputation: 42372
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
As to the OP's "these days" about women having children in their 20's--my mother was married at 20 and had her first child at 21. Same for my grandmother. I was married at 31, had my daughter at 33. It's WAITING to have a child later that is the societal change, not the other way around.
Good point! Both my grandmothers were married at 17 with kids by 18. That's why my paternal grandmother was 40 when I was born. People are waiting longer than they used to.
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Old 01-18-2012, 12:07 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,629,574 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
The statistics show most very young mothers are having their babies with Medicaid paying the bills, and lack husbands to help them support those kids. Just the day care alone for someone who makes minimum wage would be tough to come up with. Yes, there might be some welfare-to-woirk government program that has the mother working but more often than not these very young mothers live mostly off the government.

They would be in big trouble if they weren't given housing assistance, food stamps, WIC, TANF, free babysitting at the Head Starts with the free meals, their boyfriends very often are long gone and support from him is minimal at best.

Why would some girl want to raise a child alone, with no one to help her with a crying baby, no one to share the 2 am feedings and if she is going to have a future, she's got to work and study and will lack time with her children when they are young?

Yes, it looks all so very glamorous, so mature and sophisticated at first but when the other girls are going to their proms, and the mother has to sit home and care for her baby, it's not so fun any more. And very often she's ended her chances of ever having a husband and marriage because a lot of men don't wish to -- and should not -- jump into the step dad position.
None of my friends who had kids as teens got free housing, or used free babysitting. Yes most of them had food stamps and WIC, but all of them worked. They also had a family support system that helped them out. Raising a child is not easy, and contrary to what you are saying most people do not sit around deciding to keep a child based off of getting WIC or head start. I know an equal amount of people that kept a child balanced by people who decided on abortion.
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