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Old 06-17-2013, 11:02 PM
 
Location: Shreveport, LA
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I will have three at a decent age. I need to build a nest, first…
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Old 06-18-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Northeastern US
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It's my understanding that the median age for first marriages has gradually risen over the years until now it's something like 29. This is up from 23 for women and 26 for men in 1990 and 20 and 22 in 1960.

Of course this doesn't necessarily mean people are having their first child later, too, but I'd think it tends to push that age up as well. After all, people want to protect their children from stigma, provide stability / lock-in, and all that sort of thing. So the OP's perception / implication that people are having children younger and perhaps marrying younger or that these are a new trend is not really valid, especially amongst well educated people. College educations these days more and more require postgrad work and an ambitious early career scramble that tends to put off serious relationships and certainly children.
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Old 06-18-2013, 07:32 PM
 
Location: earth?
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I'm sorry. I haven't read the entire thread. I just have to say that you will have to talk to God. He/She/It/Other has determined that females are most fertile in their teens and twenties. Want to argue with nature? Good luck with that.
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Old 06-19-2013, 01:28 AM
 
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I think biology. Also, a lot of people in their teens want to be able to connect and be "cool" to and with their kids and think they'll have an easier time doing so if they have a baby younger.

Women are MOST fertile in their twenties, particularly early 20s, so they might be feeling that call to procreate when they can.

Fertility 101
"THE AGE GAME

Like it or not, age remains the biggest determinant of fertility. "No matter how much you take care of yourself, you can't slow down ovarian aging," says Dr. Kutluk Oktay, medical director at the Institute for Fertility Preservation at the Center for Human Reproduction in New York City. Here's why you shouldn't wait until your 40s to hit the baby panic button:

Your ovaries have a life span. Making a baby requires a healthy egg, but eggs become more scarce as you age. You're born with about a million eggs, but most of them never mature. By the time you reach puberty, you're down to half your original supply, and the number continues to fall each year. And not every egg that survives can make a baby. Even in your prime, about half of all eggs have chromosomal abnormalities, and the proportion of eggs with genetic problems increases as you age, explains Dr. David Adamson, president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Eventually, you simply run out of viable eggs. "As of today, we have no way of changing that," he says. "It's the natural course of human life."

Fertility peaks in your 20s. Most women hit their fertile peak between the ages of 23 and 31, though the rate at which women conceive begins to dip slightly in their late 20s. Around age 31, fertility starts to drop more quickly — by about 3 percent per year — until you hit 35 or so. From there, the decline accelerates. "The average 39-year-old woman has half the fertility she had at 31, and between 39 and 42, the chances of conceiving drop by half again," says Adamson. Approximately one in four women age 35 or older have trouble getting pregnant."
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Old 06-19-2013, 01:29 AM
 
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Hm, well I always wanted to have my first child by 25, got married at 23 to my high school boyfriend, incidentally (we had been together for 7 years at that point), and had full-on baby fever already, but ended up having my son at 26, after working for only two years after college - DH was 29 and had a good career at that point. I certainly would not have wanted to wait any longer than that. My reasons, aside from feeling ready and wanting a child, were that it's much easier and safer physiologically to have a child younger: fertility decreases after 30, it's easier on your body, easier pregnancies and labour, less chance of complications and birth defects, etc etc. Plus, if for some reason it would have turned out that we had trouble conceiving, it would be important to have the time 'buffer' to deal with it. To me, having kids was important, the most important thing in my life - and I knew that if we waited and then for whatever reason had trouble, I would be devastated and never forgive myself. The way I look at it, you have the rest of your life to make money, but no amount of money would make me happy if I couldn't have kids. I have heard of so many older, well-off successful couples struggling to conceive and pouring hordes of money into IVF, surrogacy, adoption, and all the heartbreak and suffering associated with it.
Also, my parents had me young, at 20 and 21 which was the norm for them back then, and I always loved having young parents, and am still glad that they're young and active enough to enjoy their grandchild, and my own grandma was still young enough to fly and visit us and see him as well. I want my kids to have grandparents around for as long as they can, and by having kids later, I would've denied them that.

Now, I'm completely against the kind of white-trash flaky teens popping babies and ditching them to party and drink, like they have on 16 and pregnant type shows. But 18 and up, if you're responsible, can provide for the baby's needs, and are willing to make all the sacrifices to take 100% care of them - I don't see the problem. Some things are more important than money, and there are good and bad parents at every age and income level.
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Old 06-19-2013, 01:08 PM
 
Location: earth?
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This is a good example of how an entire culture gets programmed . . . "society" decided that females should hold off until their thirties or forties to get pregnant (probably to promote more prime-time work in corporations). Somehow non-thinking people just leapt on the bandwagon.

Thirty and forty year old women now seek IVF (which increases cancer and makes specialty fertility doctors rich) . . .but few people consider "Mother Nature" says that girls/women are most fertile in their teens and twenties.

If you want to wait for some reason, fine . . . just be aware of the gamble you are taking and don't complain if you pass your prime fertility period.

I wish people would wake up and think instead of having their opinions served to them on a platter by others who are playing them like marionettes.
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Old 06-19-2013, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Ontario
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The OP does not understand why people want to have babies in their twenties, is because he/she is a person that does not want that lifestyle in his or her twenties. That is perfectly fine. We all have to make our own choices and we all have different wants and priorities. Some people are ready in their twenties, others would rather pursue other things like career or travel. Neither is wrong.

I would say the reason teens and young adults believe they will have children in their twenties is because the twenties seems "old" to someone that age. They are being overly optimistic to think they will have found the right partner, right job, right home by then. Many people are able to do this by this time but a lot can't. With the bad economy and high student debt it is difficult to achieve.


Teens don't really understand the costs, time, and lifestyle adjustment that comes with a baby. It isn't just teens, I think most people are unaware until they actually go through it. I am surprised by how many people these days plan for a family before they are even married. It seems to me if you cannot even commit to your partner, how can you commit to raising a child.
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Old 06-19-2013, 05:20 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackandgold51 View Post
Don't they know the hardships of having a child? Especially the way the world is today.

They should know that raising a child takes a lot of hard work and patience with lots of energy, and is expensive. Why don't they enjoy their lives now and wait later on when their really ready?

And thanks to T.V. "reality shows" like Teen Mom, teenagers girls want to do the same by getting pregnant early.
What teenagers are you talking about? I don't know any teens giving any thought at all to having kids in their 20's. Are you talking about a specific demographic? More info needed.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:11 PM
 
1,866 posts, read 2,171,028 times
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Because now with such stupid shows such as teen mom, it gives the impression that it's ok to have a baby at a young age. I questioned a few teenagers about this and they did not know that most teen mothers rely on some sort of assistance. It's not right, either the parents of the teen or the taxpayers end up picking up the tab for their foolishness and stupidity
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Shreveport, LA
1,024 posts, read 834,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
This is a good example of how an entire culture gets programmed . . . "society" decided that females should hold off until their thirties or forties to get pregnant (probably to promote more prime-time work in corporations). Somehow non-thinking people just leapt on the bandwagon.

Thirty and forty year old women now seek IVF (which increases cancer and makes specialty fertility doctors rich) . . .but few people consider "Mother Nature" says that girls/women are most fertile in their teens and twenties.

If you want to wait for some reason, fine . . . just be aware of the gamble you are taking and don't complain if you pass your prime fertility period.

I wish people would wake up and think instead of having their opinions served to them on a platter by others who are playing them like marionettes.
This is very true…
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