U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 11-23-2011, 08:32 AM
 
Location: PA
839 posts, read 960,536 times
Reputation: 1753

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by barkomatic View Post
Have you ever considered the idea that your counselor may be making this worse for you? Therapists tend to convince their patients sometimes that the traumas they experienced in the past are much worse than they actually were. This person may also be deliberately trying to make you angry, since many believe that if you experience anger it will help you move on. Sometimes that's the case, and sometimes they just end up making their patient upset all the time.

For example, what does it mean that you've "died on the inside"? This sounds like babble to me. I know some things must have been done to you that were nasty, but a healthy adult dismisses childhood garbage and moves on.
I agree with this statement - it seems a lot of counselors encourage their patients to dwell on the past, instead of trying to get them to work on your future (i.e. let go, learn how to avoid situations like that in the future, learn how to heal). Sometimes, venting and expressing those emotions are not going to help. Ironically, Sigmund Freud, who has been dismissed over the last few decades, encouraged keeping actions/feelings repressed in the consious world. Now that these "urges" are encouraged to come out in modern day psychology, we are seeing a huge uptake in murders of children, children being molested, mass shootings, and even more bullying. You are perpetuating the cycle by seeking revenge and expressing negative feelings, emotions, and thoughts....just like your bully's did back in their day. Please don't stoop to their level, I beg of you, and also encourage you to list 20 things you are appreciative of and thankful for. Read that list when you get angry and upset, and try to think of positive thoughts instead of negative.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-23-2011, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Santa Ana
1,198 posts, read 1,990,554 times
Reputation: 449
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
Easy.

Start ****ing dudes.
no thanks
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2011, 11:46 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
1,458 posts, read 2,153,902 times
Reputation: 1277
You are justified in seeking revenge against those who have oppressed you. However, there will be consequences. They say living well is the best revenge but in general you can expect to become worse off as years go by as that's what I see happening to those around me. If you ever are in a place where things can't get any worse or you have nothing left to lose, then lash out against those who have earned your wrath.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2011, 11:52 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,729 posts, read 22,797,914 times
Reputation: 17490
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
You are justified in seeking revenge against those who have oppressed you. However, there will be consequences. They say living well is the best revenge but in general you can expect to become worse off as years go by as that's what I see happening to those around me. If you ever are in a place where things can't get any worse or you have nothing left to lose, then lash out against those who have earned your wrath.
All this does is screw up his karma for when the tide changes to better days.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-24-2011, 06:08 AM
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
2,705 posts, read 2,508,191 times
Reputation: 833
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
You are justified in seeking revenge against those who have oppressed you. However, there will be consequences. They say living well is the best revenge but in general you can expect to become worse off as years go by as that's what I see happening to those around me. If you ever are in a place where things can't get any worse or you have nothing left to lose, then lash out against those who have earned your wrath.
THIS IS HORRIBLE ADVICE!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2012, 11:22 AM
 
12,579 posts, read 12,815,599 times
Reputation: 8868
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
You are justified in seeking revenge against those who have oppressed you. However, there will be consequences. They say living well is the best revenge but in general you can expect to become worse off as years go by as that's what I see happening to those around me. If you ever are in a place where things can't get any worse or you have nothing left to lose, then lash out against those who have earned your wrath.
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
All this does is screw up his karma for when the tide changes to better days.
Who are you to say SMA's advice isn't supposed to be the karma?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2012, 11:40 AM
 
Location: CA
2,464 posts, read 5,690,869 times
Reputation: 2587
Personally, I think the best revenge is to live well... very well.

I was a poor, sad, shaggy looking kid, who suffered abuse at the hands of snots and bullies for YEARS. I had crocked teeth, was malnourished with stringy long hair, had two pair of shorts (from Kmart clearance rack), one pair of cheap shoes (at the most) with holes in them. My "backpack" was a hand me down, tattered, Esprit bag with a broken strap. And I'm pretty sure I had a bullseye on my back, because kids (the bully/snot types) hated me and I didn't even say a word.

So, I graduated from HS as Salutatorian, went to college, grew into my body, worked out, had braces, etc. and now I don't give much thought to HS a-holes. For one, why waste the energy on people who don't matter? Second, I have learned invaluable lessons from those miserable days. I'm sure many people who don't take the "I want revenge" route can tell you that they learned something from being tormented. It could be empathy for one, not judging people for what they don't have, being well grounded, having a good misery base point (and therefore being happier with life because you know what suffering really is). Negative experiences in life don't have dictate your future - you can spin it into a positive if you can wrap your mind around that concept.

Just my two cents.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2012, 01:09 PM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,369,225 times
Reputation: 1944
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommabear2 View Post
Personally, I think the best revenge is to live well... very well.

I was a poor, sad, shaggy looking kid, who suffered abuse at the hands of snots and bullies for YEARS. I had crocked teeth, was malnourished with stringy long hair, had two pair of shorts (from Kmart clearance rack), one pair of cheap shoes (at the most) with holes in them. My "backpack" was a hand me down, tattered, Esprit bag with a broken strap. And I'm pretty sure I had a bullseye on my back, because kids (the bully/snot types) hated me and I didn't even say a word.

So, I graduated from HS as Salutatorian, went to college, grew into my body, worked out, had braces, etc. and now I don't give much thought to HS a-holes. For one, why waste the energy on people who don't matter? Second, I have learned invaluable lessons from those miserable days. I'm sure many people who don't take the "I want revenge" route can tell you that they learned something from being tormented. It could be empathy for one, not judging people for what they don't have, being well grounded, having a good misery base point (and therefore being happier with life because you know what suffering really is). Negative experiences in life don't have dictate your future - you can spin it into a positive if you can wrap your mind around that concept.

Just my two cents.
Awesome post! Good for you!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2012, 01:49 PM
 
93 posts, read 76,697 times
Reputation: 85
One of the baddest men on the planet Geroge St. Pirre was bullied when he was younger. I was bullied as well. Being bullied made me a better person! At the time I was bitter, but as I grew older through bullying I learned to be more compassionate of others, and to be more sensitive to those who suffer in the world. Let your experiences of being bullied burn like a fire in you to maximize your potential, and also to obtain a strong warrior mindset of which you never take an bullsh*t from anyone ever again.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2012, 02:52 PM
 
768 posts, read 869,032 times
Reputation: 1182
Not all types of revenge are illegal. Well, I could imagine that a late-bloomer buff type of guy would be better looking that most aging bullies, so make a play for his girlfriend. If you're successful, and she ends up running off with you, I'd say that's better than revenge.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top