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Old 01-15-2012, 08:38 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,711,508 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzyj19 View Post
He has alot of personal issues. 2 baby mamas -2 children with one 1 with the other and he says he has alot of baby mama drama. Hes always complaining about how he's being spread too thin and how he feels like there's only one of him and when is he going to have time for himself aside from being asleep or dead. But none of that has anything to do with our "friendship". It just seems like there's always something. I know everyone has their own life and personal issues but its too much. He seems to be an ok person but its very frustrating and emotionally taxing. And he does resort to girlie tactics---only texting, silent treatments its just so confusing and taxing.
He sounds like he loves a lot of drama and keeps creating himself problems. If you're not getting something positive emotionally from your relationship with him, why not just cut it off? Why put up with his drama queen antics?

Spend your time with men who can act responsibly and consistently instead of letting this one waste your time.

 
Old 01-15-2012, 08:47 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,537 posts, read 19,409,941 times
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Why on earth someone would be interested in a guy with two baby mamas is beyond me. Girl, that's evidence he's wasting your time.
 
Old 01-15-2012, 08:50 PM
 
15,831 posts, read 18,446,953 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzyj19 View Post
Is someone being passive aggressive or emotionally abusive if they are constantly bouncing in and out of your life? He/she gets mad because they feel you have "wronged" them ...Always being blamed for one thing or the other and then you move on with your life because the person has told you that they are done with you to just have them reappear weeks or months later. Over the span of a year and a half I've had this person continuosly come in and out of my life. Once again i was told that they were "done with this in 2011" and "better Luick Next year"...Ive tried to always be a good friend as I am with all my other friends but something just feels off not sure if its me or the other person..What to do?

To be clear...he was introduced through a mutual friend and their was a mutual initial interest but kept it friendly. In person he was always nice and pleasant ..funny never disrespectful. As i do with all friends i tried to include him in our group hangout and even one on one which was always fun..but I was always accused of trying to hard to be a good friend which I never understood. He would then disappear for awhile and then pop up with "where have u been ?oh you're too good to talk to anyone anymore?" after clearly being annoyed with me
Sounds like a either bi-polar personality, or borderline personality disorder to me.......RUN!
Why are you allowing this person to interrupt and control your life?? What redeeming qualities does this person have that is your payoff for allowing this to have happened after the first time?? Ask yourself. You really need to stop allowing this, it will come to no good end.

Last edited by JanND; 01-15-2012 at 08:54 PM.. Reason: added sentence
 
Old 01-15-2012, 11:36 PM
 
4,472 posts, read 5,127,872 times
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The individual has to allow them to bounce in and out, why cant they just disappear?
 
Old 01-16-2012, 04:51 AM
 
663 posts, read 907,205 times
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Your "friend" sounds toxic no matter the reason. I would keep him out of your life. My mother used to treat me like this and it only stops if you put an end to it......the "friend" (or in my case, parent)....there's no impetus for them to discontinue the behavior because it is what they do to those who allow it, nothing out of the ordinary for them.

By the way, I'm the type of person who tries to figure out why people do what they do.....over analyze and the whole bit. If you have any tendency toward the same, try to find a way to not do it. It only keeps you connected to them and their behavior and they get to occupy space in your head rent-free . Admittedly, it's an ongoing process for me but I'm getting better about not going there. Good luck .
 
Old 01-16-2012, 06:37 AM
 
270 posts, read 343,181 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PurePugx3 View Post
Your "friend" sounds toxic no matter the reason. I would keep him out of your life. My mother used to treat me like this and it only stops if you put an end to it......the "friend" (or in my case, parent)....there's no impetus for them to discontinue the behavior because it is what they do to those who allow it, nothing out of the ordinary for them.

By the way, I'm the type of person who tries to figure out why people do what they do.....over analyze and the whole bit. If you have any tendency toward the same, try to find a way to not do it. It only keeps you connected to them and their behavior and they get to occupy space in your head rent-free . Admittedly, it's an ongoing process for me but I'm getting better about not going there. Good luck .
Yes I am the same type of person also who tries to figure out people's quirks and what makes them tick. This is where I am now with this person. I have had numerous conversations with friends and I have told them that he was done with this in 2011. I figure it is the truth but no one believes it because of the pattern and they insist that he will return. I don't think I can take anymore wishy washy antics. I'm so exhausted.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 06:40 AM
 
270 posts, read 343,181 times
Reputation: 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
Sounds like a either bi-polar personality, or borderline personality disorder to me.......RUN!
Why are you allowing this person to interrupt and control your life?? What redeeming qualities does this person have that is your payoff for allowing this to have happened after the first time?? Ask yourself. You really need to stop allowing this, it will come to no good end.

Yes you are correct. He seems to blame me for everything as he is never responsible for anything. I don't know how many times we've had an argument and he won't speak to me only to return months later or do something to get my attention so that I will speak to him. He calls me crazy but yet he exhibits all these odd behaviors. All i feel is tired and confused.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 06:41 AM
 
270 posts, read 343,181 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Is this person bipolar?

I don't know but I've heard this same question from many of my friends.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 06:57 AM
 
270 posts, read 343,181 times
Reputation: 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Why on earth someone would be interested in a guy with two baby mamas is beyond me. Girl, that's evidence he's wasting your time.

He seemed like a very nice guy at first and i even had friends meet him and thought he was a cool guy. There was an obvious interest there at first but then i noticed a change. He said he didnt want to waste my time in the three ring circus with his "baby Mamas" so I accepted it and remained friends. We hung out a couple of time flirted a little but was always a gentleman. But then he never wanted to talk on the phone as oppsed to the beginning of the friendship when we would tak all the time. It was strictly texting and very childish games. its been a back and forth for two years and silences then appearances again. I've never been freinds with anyone like that before and i truly cared for this person but the constant blame, rudeness and disrespect without any good reason is dumbfounding to me.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 07:36 AM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,364,853 times
Reputation: 1944
Well, if you had to choose between passive aggressive behavior or flaky, which one would you prefer?
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