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Old 01-16-2012, 09:06 AM
 
270 posts, read 343,137 times
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I am hoping that its is indeed the last and final time that he makes a reappearance. It's breaking my spirit.

 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:12 AM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,363,919 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzyj19 View Post
Yes he has reminded me of that repeatedly and it is very painful and hurtful to me. The worst part is that he knows how i feel and its like whatever. I started the year with a clean slate and promised myself that I wouldn't contact him I erased all his contact information to save myself the aggravation. But I always have friends telling me just because I've deleted him doesnt mean he has and that I should be wary of him.
Yup. The thing about these people is that they don't care about your feelings but want you to consider theirs, e.g. take me back. You are the giver, he is the taker.

He is probably persistent because this "limit" has been set by you. Set a limit and be insistent. Try to gather support.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:15 AM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,363,919 times
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Originally Posted by jazzyj19 View Post
I am hoping that its is indeed the last and final time that he makes a reappearance. It's breaking my spirit.
This best advice I heard in regards to people like this guy was this: If you survived, you made the best choice you could have at that moment.

Can you learn from this and make different choices starting now? Yes. Will it make you stronger? Absolutely.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:24 AM
 
270 posts, read 343,137 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
Yup. The thing about these people is that they don't care about your feelings but want you to consider theirs, e.g. take me back. You are the giver, he is the taker.

He is probably persistent because this "limit" has been set by you. Set a limit and be insistent. Try to gather support.


He has actually been quiet since the start of the year--no texts or calls from him at all-- because he claimed at the end of last year that he was "done with this in 2011" and "better Luck Next year". I did try to confront him at the end of last year to try to talk and say my piece but to no avail. He takes other peoples calls but would not take mine and its not the first time he has done that to me. I've tried really hard to be a good friend and always have it thrown in my face. I know that I have to be strong for my own sake.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,653,945 times
Reputation: 19408
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzyj19 View Post
He has alot of personal issues. 2 baby mamas -2 children with one 1 with the other and he says he has alot of baby mama drama. Hes always complaining about how he's being spread too thin and how he feels like there's only one of him and when is he going to have time for himself aside from being asleep or dead. But none of that has anything to do with our "friendship". It just seems like there's always something. I know everyone has their own life and personal issues but its too much. He seems to be an ok person but its very frustrating and emotionally taxing. And he does resort to girlie tactics---only texting, silent treatments its just so confusing and taxing.
RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! and don't look back!
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:34 AM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,363,919 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzyj19 View Post
He has actually been quiet since the start of the year--no texts or calls from him at all-- because he claimed at the end of last year that he was "done with this in 2011" and "better Luck Next year". I did try to confront him at the end of last year to try to talk and say my piece but to no avail. He takes other peoples calls but would not take mine and its not the first time he has done that to me. I've tried really hard to be a good friend and always have it thrown in my face. I know that I have to be strong for my own sake.
Yes, this kind of behavior should be stopped as soon as possible because I suspect that if you allow it to happen long enough, you want closure, the "why's". That is how you let them back in your life.

When you learn to how to protect your feelings, your respect, it doesn't go on this long.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:35 AM
 
270 posts, read 343,137 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! and don't look back!
Is it the 2 baby mamas situation that has caused you're response? Just wondering.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,653,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzyj19 View Post
Is it the 2 baby mamas situation that has caused you're response? Just wondering.
No, but it IS a pattern of behavior with him! Do you really think that he didn't employ those tactics on those "baby mamas" as well? It's HIS pattern of behavior. Behave badly and then blame everyone and everything else for that behavior. Sorry, but with all of the people out there to be friends with, why would you continue to saddle yourself with friends like that? People like him don't even THINK about how their behavior affects others....why?...because other people's feelings do not matter!
 
Old 01-16-2012, 09:54 AM
 
270 posts, read 343,137 times
Reputation: 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
No, but it IS a pattern of behavior with him! Do you really think that he didn't employ those tactics on those "baby mamas" as well? It's HIS pattern of behavior. Behave badly and then blame everyone and everything else for that behavior. Sorry, but with all of the people out there to be friends with, why would you continue to saddle yourself with friends like that? People like him don't even THINK about how their behavior affects others....why?...because other people's feelings do not matter!
According to him, the Baby Mamas cause him drama and from what I gather they seem to pull his puppet strings. When they need him to pick up their kids for whatever reason he jumps...if the baby mamas need to be chauffered around or need assistance somewhere he jumps...he says his world revolves around his kids whish I Do believe because i see that he loves them dearly...but everything THEY tell him to do he jumps...But I get screamed on and insulted and I am never ever disrespectful woman if anything i'm very caring and always open to be there if need be. It's not Fair at all.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,653,945 times
Reputation: 19408
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzyj19 View Post
According to him, the Baby Mamas cause him drama and from what I gather they seem to pull his puppet strings. When they need him to pick up their kids for whatever reason he jumps...if the baby mamas need to be chauffered around or need assistance somewhere he jumps...he says his world revolves around his kids whish I Do believe because i see that he loves them dearly...but everything THEY tell him to do he jumps...But I get screamed on and insulted and I am never ever disrespectful woman if anything i'm very caring and always open to be there if need be. It's not Fair at all.
Do you really think he didn't treat those women the same way!? Do you really think he wouldn't STILL be with them, if he didn't? Yeah, fine, he's jumping when they call or when they want him to pick up his kids. Jazzy!!! He SHOULD! Good grief, wouldn't you expect that of him if YOU'D had his kid? You are simply a distraction to him. Those kids ARE his priority and they should be! He got himself in this mess because he couldn't be bothered to use protection....I don't give a sh*t who he blames for it. It takes two to tango. You really expect him to put YOU before his babies and their mamas? Wow....
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