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Old 02-10-2012, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Petticoat Junction
930 posts, read 1,575,979 times
Reputation: 1487

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
thanks for the advice everyone

this whole damn thing has me frustrated. i don't know why I even bother trying, 99% of the time people just get upset with you when all you're tryin to do is be a good friend.

Confronting one's personal demons is not a popular activity.
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,639 posts, read 24,060,346 times
Reputation: 11268
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
uh.. so you're saying the japanese are experts on alcoholism?

Or are you saying you're an expert?
I provided a Japanese saying; nothing more or less.


But as far as alcoholism, yeah, I seem to be more of an expert than you.
I've been involved in rehab work for decades.

So yeah, I probably know a little bit about it.

But a group of idiots teens who drink to blackout and choose to be alcoholics (as if that's even possible) know a lot more than everyone else.

Last edited by chielgirl; 02-10-2012 at 10:15 AM..
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Petticoat Junction
930 posts, read 1,575,979 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chielgirl View Post
Sorry, I don't think so.

I'm over 28 years sober and have lived through, lied through, deceived, denied, promised, whatever, to get you off of my back so that I could continue to use as I needed to at that time. And by that time in my life, it was a need.

Don't be fooled.
You might seriously be interested in a few Alanon meetings if you plan to continue your living arrangement.

I didn't get sober until everyone important to me pushed me out of their lives.
I had to hit bottom on my own before I was willing to recognize that I had a problem and get help for it.

Everyone's story is basically the same; it has to come from within.
Are/were you my sister? That's exactly what my sister did for decades. Until she died of alcohol poisoning....she could not escape the spiral.
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:09 AM
 
22,770 posts, read 25,186,842 times
Reputation: 14506
Quote:
Originally Posted by chielgirl View Post
I provided a Japanese saying.


But as far as alcoholism, yeah, I seem to be more of an expert than you.
I've been involved in rehab work for decades.

So yeah, I probably know a little bit about it.
Evidently not, if you think everyone's story is "basically the same." That is absurd on its face. You're assuming that the subject discussed in the OP has anything to do with you and your alleged "expertise."

Another good saying: When all you have is a hammer , everything looks like a nail.
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,639 posts, read 24,060,346 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AJBarney View Post
Are/were you my sister? That's exactly what my sister did for decades. Until she died of alcohol poisoning....she could not escape the spiral.
No, but one of mine did the same thing.
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,639 posts, read 24,060,346 times
Reputation: 11268
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
Evidently not, if you think everyone's story is "basically the same." That is absurd on its face. You're assuming that the subject discussed in the OP has anything to do with you and your alleged "expertise."

Another good saying: When all you have is a hammer , everything looks like a nail.
Yes, the basic premise for getting sober is that it has to come from within.
And yes, I do have experience with thousands of people who managed to get/stay sober.
There is one basic story, the end came from within.

What's my hammer?
Do you really think that you can force someone to get sober?
Really, are you that naive?
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Old 02-10-2012, 12:14 PM
 
4,579 posts, read 6,141,736 times
Reputation: 5213
At some point your going to have to do something to keep your conscience clear. Consider this. At this point you know she gets blacked out drunk. How will you feel if she drives and kills someone? She has to understand what she is doing.. At the very least form a professional stand point a DUI can halt or even stop a career.

Sit her down and ask her what type of guy she wants? Then ask her if she thinks that type of guy would want a woman who drinks like she does at this stage in life? People are not going to stop doing anything until they want to.

If she says she can't quit here's a test. Ask her to put her hand on the stove burner for 60 seconds. 99 out of 100 people won't even try it. They won't do it because the pain out weighs the task. In short it will hurt to much. So how will a DUI effect her life? How will she feel if she kills or cause and injury to someone? So everyone has their limits. They either just respect the line or they just cross it and suffer the consequences.

You can also find some good videos to show her on You Tube about drunk driving but as you can't stop her from doing anything let her know what she is doing is dangerous to her and others. If she is going to drink there's always the option of a taxi..

A stable man will not even look at a woman with a substance problem and if he is fooled he won't stay around once he finds out.. Good luck...
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Old 02-11-2012, 07:32 AM
 
10,452 posts, read 10,226,978 times
Reputation: 12496
Start by making it clear that you are not judging her (even if you never were, maybe she thought you were). People get defensive when they feel like they’re being attacked (doesn’t matter if they really are or not). So if you make it clear to her that you are not attacking her and that you are coming from a place of understanding, that will hopefully help knock down her defenses and she’ll be more apt to listen.

To add, some people might be saying defensive things but underneath all that their gears are turning and they really are taking it in. Try to see if you can’t tell by her body language that deep down she is taking in what you’re saying.

If none of that works, it probably means she's just not ready yet. If she is just not ready to change, no matter what you do, she won't do anything. That has to come from her. Resist the temptation to help her if she is not ready because it has to start from within her. I know you probably see her potential, but she has to see her own first. Good luck OP.
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Old 02-11-2012, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Harrisonburg, VA
994 posts, read 1,413,678 times
Reputation: 1192
She's gone driving drunk before - If you are ever around this, call the cops. We don't need any more drunk drivers on the street.
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