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Old 02-29-2012, 11:38 AM
 
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This probably holds true for those who graduate and remain in the same city they grew up in, perhaps more in the case of smaller towns & cities. Where I imagine change occuring is for those who leave home for college or do extensive traveling.
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:39 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
But if they weren't friends in high school - why would they be friends now after not seeing each other for 20 years? I've never been to one of my reunions - I live across the country from where I went to high school - but if I did go to one, I'd probably want to spend time with the people I was friends with back in high school - not the people I didn't hang out with.
I think you have something in common with former classmates even if you didn't hang out with them. It's cool to chat on facebook to see what they're up to, I even asked a couple of girls out on the pretense of 'talking about old times' but they said they were too busy. I got the message, no biggie of course.
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I think you have something in common with former classmates even if you didn't hang out with them. It's cool to chat on facebook to see what they're up to, I even asked a couple of girls out on the pretense of 'talking about old times' but they said they were too busy. I got the message, no biggie of course.
I had a graduating class of over 700. If I didn't hang out with someone or have a bunch of classes with someone - chances are, I didn't know them. I guess I don't see reunions as a chance to "meet new people that I didn't know 20 years ago" but as a chance to "reunite with friends that I haven't seen in 20 years." Why would I pass over my friends that I hung out with 20 years ago to talk to people I didn't even know? I'd rather spend my time catching up and talking about memories with the people that I was friends with.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Toronto
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That's an interesting thought.

For some reason though other than the ones I hung around with a lot, I've never really felt the desire to check what any of my old classmates are up to (though I know when it comes to encountering them on the street, if they are still around, it's a bit jarring to see one who's married with kids etc. after many years, but it doesn't affect me or give me any pressure etc.).

If it was a good friend, I'll keep in touch, but I never got the whole thing about "everybody goes to the high school re-union to show off what big jobs and families they have achieved etc.". It reminds me of the keeping up with the Jones' thing that's often depicted on TV (where everybody tries to go off to the big high school reunion of (insert apostrophe and two-digit year painted on the banner here) pretending to be a bit shot or with a great spouse etc., and it turns out some people are faking it by passing off a friend as their spouse or something -- that's always played for laughs in sitcoms ).
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Toronto
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
I had a graduating class of over 700. If I didn't hang out with someone or have a bunch of classes with someone - chances are, I didn't know them. I guess I don't see reunions as a chance to "meet new people that I didn't know 20 years ago" but as a chance to "reunite with friends that I haven't seen in 20 years." Why would I pass over my friends that I hung out with 20 years ago to talk to people I didn't even know? I'd rather spend my time catching up and talking about memories with the people that I was friends with.
I posted before I read this, but I pretty much agree with most of the points here.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:06 PM
Status: "Vote out white supremacy" (set 4 days ago)
 
Location: Washington, DC
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My thoughts:

50% locked in upon finishing HS
67% locked in upon finishing college
85% locked in by the late 20s after some real world experience

I would say that the longer it takes, the more sophisticated and open-minded the person. Although, marriage and kids force most people to be final products ASAP... or maybe just the kids part.

I'm talking mostly to the personality piece here, self esteem can change way too often during adult life. Even the strongest people can (perhaps temporarily) acquire poor self esteem for years due to adversity: foreclosure, divorce, unemployment, balding, weight-gain, etc.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
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Maybe. I was pretty well formed personality wise by age 12. I have some friends that didn't grow into their personalities until their early 20s.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:33 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,211,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
I had a graduating class of over 700. If I didn't hang out with someone or have a bunch of classes with someone - chances are, I didn't know them. I guess I don't see reunions as a chance to "meet new people that I didn't know 20 years ago" but as a chance to "reunite with friends that I haven't seen in 20 years." Why would I pass over my friends that I hung out with 20 years ago to talk to people I didn't even know? I'd rather spend my time catching up and talking about memories with the people that I was friends with.
A few years after high school I would occasionally see those I considered friends in HS, but I haven't seen any in years now, apart from bumping into them now and then. I keep up with what they do on facebook and it's interesting to see where they're all at now; a surprising number are marrying, buying houses, while many are travelling overseas for months or years at a time. It was kind of sweet to see some high school couples actually getting married, I mean that that sort of thing actually happens.

For the most part I was a true loner in high school. I spent most lunchtimes alone in the library reading. In terms of learning social skills or learning things teenagers are supposed to learn and experience, I did little to none of that.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
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I moved across the country about 2 weeks after high school graduation and kept in touch with pretty much no one. I have reconnected with a few people, but my reunion was an excuse to be nosy and see what is happening with other people. Facebook takes the place of a lot of that, although there is one person I would love to know what happened to, but they have a really common name so they aren't really findable on social networks.
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Old 02-29-2012, 09:45 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,556,134 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE View Post
My thoughts:

50% locked in upon finishing HS
67% locked in upon finishing college
85% locked in by the late 20s after some real world experience

I would say that the longer it takes, the more sophisticated and open-minded the person. Although, marriage and kids force most people to be final products ASAP... or maybe just the kids part.

I'm talking mostly to the personality piece here, self esteem can change way too often during adult life. Even the strongest people can (perhaps temporarily) acquire poor self esteem for years due to adversity: foreclosure, divorce, unemployment, balding, weight-gain, etc.
This is a great post. I love numbers and "factual" data. I would say this is more realistic for most people. My numbers might shake out more like what you think.

At 24, driving a NEW rental car onto Manhattan freaked me out. A couple of years later, I moved across the US, driving myself in my car. Ten years later, I was renting cars with manual transmissions in foreign countries and arguing with them about the insurance clauses and arguing with merchants who were generally jerks. You rack up some great stories when you travel.

Based on some other posts, those of us who are more worldly can accept that people can change, though most don't. However, many people do box other people in to the phase of life in which they last knew them: childhood, HS, college, work, whatever.
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