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Hon....and I mean that as an endearment, not disrespectfully. You are on the right track. The therapist has helped you and guided you in referring you to a support group.
I applaud you, and your sharing may help someone else. It sometimes takes years to get over the feelings when you have been emotionally abused.
I have heard that emotional abuse in some ways is worse than physical abuse, psychologically, because you can at least show people your bruises....emotional is internal only.
It took you a while to reach out, but you did. Pat yourself on the back, that is a strength.
Surround yourself w/ others like you, healthy on the road to recovery type people. Sharing your story w/ others is a good part of healing. They say to tell your story 100 times.
So, share in your support group, you'll also gain some insights too....look for a support group that shows growth, not just members venting about the same things weekly.
Growth is a positive, you'll keep growing, and along the way sharing, others will also learn from you.
Don't look back, this is a very abusive man from what you are saying.
Some people are sick that way, and hurt people to make themselves feel better, it can be a sick cycle.
Thankfully you had strength to recognize that you needed help, and took the steps to get that help.
Thanks for sharing, and keep us posted.
I SO APPRECIATE the websites you left for me.
I have also read that emotional abuse is worse than physical. My friend gave me a book for support and it says the same thing.
I went to the therapist because NOTHING made sense anymore. I couldnt tell if it was me or him. Why was I so psychologically tortured? What was it? SOMETHING was not right. And she has validated all my thoughts. It still makes me so sick to my stomach but I know the future looks brighter. I am still young. I can find someone. Someone who loves me and will want to commit to me instead of keeping me strung along.
It is such a sick cycle. I had never felt so...like mentally losing control....I think I came so close to "losing it" and called my therapy after hours. They scheduled me for 9 am the next morning. Squeezed me in even though they were booked. I went there very upset and lost. Two months later, I am much better mentally and emotionally. I have accepted it happened to me and is not my fault.
I hope my story can help someone. Maybe it happened to me for a reason.
The cancer lie thing has happened to two of my girlfriends, and it's devestating when you've found out that someone you cared for lied to you
I've had multiple friends and family members deal with cancer and I have a chronic medical condition where I'm in and out of the hospital fairly often... I had a guy try to pull the 'life ending illness' thing on me and called him out on it easily.
It's amazing to me how many people lie for sympathy and attention.
If you are at all inclined to be open to affirmations, I'm going to enthusiastically suggest you read some of Louise Hay's books. I would start with You Can Heal You Life. It made a huge difference in my life.
There is no magic cure for healing the hurt and bewilderment you feel. You'll try some things and then some others...and when you have found a good fit, you'll naturally gravitate to more of the same. Give yourself a lot of understanding and nurturing. This isn't something you can "get over" quickly.
He has not contacted me in two days. I hope it stays this way.
It is still hard for me. I think about it all the time and try to make sense of it. I am listening to sad songs all the time.
I know I will be ok. I will be better off in the long run. It is just the feelings of "Why did this have to happen? Why would someone use cancer to manipulate another person?"
Feelings of feeling like a fool for being through this....
Sorry to bump this up again but today I found out that he is supposedly getting some sort of operation on Wednesday.
And now I feel friggin guilty in case he really does have cancer. It is so messed up. When I ask him for proof, he won't provide it but he is doing this operation and ****.
I realize he could be lying but now I am thinking about the guilt I will go through if he really drops dead in a few months like he says he will...
Sorry to bump this up again but today I found out that he is supposedly getting some sort of operation on Wednesday.
And now I feel friggin guilty in case he really does have cancer. It is so messed up. When I ask him for proof, he won't provide it but he is doing this operation and ****.
I realize he could be lying but now I am thinking about the guilt I will go through if he really drops dead in a few months like he says he will...
Anyone help please...?
I am going crazy.
Truly and deeply.
Seriously, don't feel guilty regardless of him having cancer or not. Having a disease doesn't give you the right-of-way to treat someone like crap.
Apparently he is not nearly mature enough to have a stable relationship. You made the right move. You can tolerate it for a certain time, but enough is enough. Don't play games with your emotions.
I'm confused. His actions scream "I don't care about you" yet you hold on to someone you haven't seen in months who lives minutes away and treats you badly when you speak on the phone.
At the risk of being rude why didn't you, some point, DRIVE OVER THERE? It's not that hard.
End it, stay in therapy. I think everyone involved here might need it.
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