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View Poll Results: Is self esteem as important as people make it out to be?
Woman: Yes. Self esteem is as important as it seems. 22 59.46%
Man: Yes. Self esteem is as important as it seems. 7 18.92%
Woman: No. Self esteem is not a big deal after all. 2 5.41%
Man: No. Self esteem is not a big deal after all. 6 16.22%
Voters: 37. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-06-2012, 01:31 PM
 
419 posts, read 682,049 times
Reputation: 478

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It's not necessarily the end all be all for life, but it's pretty important for relationships. I mean, having a reasonable degree of assuredness isn't going to hurt ones chances of social interaction....
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:33 PM
 
25,947 posts, read 25,869,596 times
Reputation: 26678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
It was basically understood what she was trying to get across. Yes it would be applicable if that's what the point of the post was or if we were in English class -- but we're not. But thanks for demonstrating what I just said in post 93. Clockwork, I tell you.
And yet it never occured to you this issue may be the very issue she is having a problem with in her employment. There's a difference between a typo here and there and atrocious spelling throughout. The post screams for help loud and clear. I think Chow was on the right path with his suggestion.
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:42 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,579,404 times
Reputation: 7502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
And yet it never occured to you this issue may be the very issue she is having a problem with in her employment. There's a difference between a typo here and there and atrocious spelling throughout. The post screams for help loud and clear. I think Chow was on the right path with his suggestion.

It did occur me. I just didn't feel the need to put a spotlight on it. Of course you think Chow was on the right path. What else is new?
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:45 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,579,404 times
Reputation: 7502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
A.S

Right, more like a straight up Sociopath.

Every time I tango with you, I get sooooooooooo many reps, all 100% agreement with me.

Must just be some universal conspiracy against Dolleyes,
I guess.

I was actually trying to help the woman in that post. I was being sincere about the spell checker thingy..... she came across like a 10 yr old in her post.

I thought a little polishing might help her out.
I didn't say anything about a universal conspiracy against me. What I said was: men have a way of doing what you're doing right now. Which is downgrading, name calling and everything else. Again, thanks for the demonstration in that area. Congratulations on getting reps on a comment from a bunch of strangers, I guess that means 'something' to you.

I'm sure you were trying to just help her 'polish out her spelling' whatever. move it along.
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:46 PM
 
25,947 posts, read 25,869,596 times
Reputation: 26678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
It did occur me. I just didn't feel the need to put a spotlight on it. Of course you think Chow was on the right path. What else is new?
But that is exactly what she was asking for and you told her to go to HR. She asked for help. She put the spotlight on it. geesh
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Midwest
2,975 posts, read 4,267,661 times
Reputation: 1941
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
A.S. (aspergers syndrome)

It's interesting you brought up women with a lot of brothers around. I have a lot of uncles but they weren't in the household with me. I think women with a lot of brothers can more easily adaptive to their crude nature. I don't think it's as jarring to them as to women who maybe did not grow up with them in a household, I dunno. Pressuring you to get a bigger butt? WTH. I never heard of such a thing! It sounds like some of your social outings with men were similar to mine. there were personal situations, I don't care to go into but as far as socially: I had 2 separate groups of friends once when I was younger, high school age and then again as an adult. The men were black, white, and latino, even one Indian man.

Have you ever experienced this in a group of males? For some reason they have abilities to pick out the woman that is different in some way, shape or form from the others in a group. A case of "one of these is not like the others." I have no idea why they do this -- but they feel the need to put that woman on display in an embarrassing and disrespectful manner. Whether it's making fun of her hair, her face, her weight, skin tone, whatever. they also pit women against one another in groups as well. Like "you're not as skinny as her" and "she's not as smart as you." This is a different story, but I ended up getting into a violent fistfight with another woman that was originally created and egged on by men. Anyways, I developed anxiety just from being around them in groups and in general b/c you never know what's going to come out of their primitive mouths next. I don't know if all of this is a result of their 'pack mentality' or what.
What are the traits of Asperger's Syndrome?



Quote:
Have you ever experienced this in a group of males? For some reason they have abilities to pick out the woman that is different in some way, shape or form from the others in a group. A case of "one of these is not like the others." I have no idea why they do this -- but they feel the need to put that woman on display in an embarrassing and disrespectful manner. Whether it's making fun of her hair, her face, her weight, skin tone, whatever. they also pit women against one another in groups as well. Like "you're not as skinny as her" and "she's not as smart as you."
Yes that is exactly what happened to me. But what do you think they felt was so different about me? Up until that point I realized I just don't fit in with AAs like that. I know one purposely made me feel uncomfortable and the constant critiques about how we wore our hair or how we dressed cause great anxiety with me

The guy loved to pit women against each other alot. He'd tell one friend that the other gets more male attention or that she has a better shape. So when everyone got together to meet there would be tension between the two girls. He'd instigate and say someone was jealous of another girl because she has (enter whatever feature/trait) even though no one had displayed any jealousy at all. Unfortunately I think this is common in the AA community cause i've spoke with other women who experienced the same thing

Quote:
This is a different story, but I ended up getting into a violent fistfight with another woman that was originally created and egged on by men. Anyways, I developed anxiety just from being around them in groups and in general b/c you never know what's going to come out of their primitive mouths next. I don't know if all of this is a result of their 'pack mentality' or what
That is awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Did you wind up going to jail? who broke up the fight?

I caught on quick what he was doing and would always stand him up whenever they planned social gatherings. I remember going to the mall with him and he instigated a discussion about white girl's 'hair' being better than black women's hair and pointing out the white girls at the mall. And if you say something they would call you "bitter angry and jealous'. When that happened I simply refused to be in their presence again. I don't see how the other girls that still hang around him tolerate that. Maybe they are used to it if they grew up around a lot of self hating males. It probably feels normal to them. However, I found it incredibly irritating, sickening and oppressive. Like you I also developed a bit of anxiety when hanging around a group of AAs in my age group. I feel like its only a matter of time before someone instigates a conversation about a person's hair texture or skin tone being better than the other.
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:48 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,579,404 times
Reputation: 7502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
But that is exactly what she was asking for and you told her to go to HR. She asked for help. She put the spotlight on it. geesh

She asked about her boss calling her dumb and possibly being fired. I told her to go to HR to deal with it and you guys wanted to tell her about her spelling being a problem within her job. OK whatever, great. again move it along. Next topic.
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Old 05-06-2012, 01:56 PM
 
Location: So Cal
38,749 posts, read 37,911,931 times
Reputation: 39561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
I didn't say anything about a universal conspiracy against me. What I said was: men have a way of doing what you're doing right now. Which is downgrading, name calling and everything else. Again, thanks for the demonstration in that area. Congratulations on getting reps on a comment from a bunch of strangers, I guess that means 'something' to you.

I'm sure you were trying to just help her 'polish out her spelling' whatever. move it along.
I'm demonstrating about how "bad" men are????

Do you have ANY self awareness about how you bad mouth men ALL the time.

It's a running joke about how everyone thinks you're a nut job.

You are truly the butt of jokes.

I normally am never this harsh to anyone on this forum. But, I can only handle being male bashed by EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR POSTS for so long.

You even twist the story up in this post of yours to suit your man hating agenda.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/24182387-post5.html
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Old 05-06-2012, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Blankity-blank!
11,449 posts, read 13,911,504 times
Reputation: 6875
Here's one test:
Selfesteem test
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Old 05-06-2012, 02:07 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,579,404 times
Reputation: 7502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I'm demonstrating about how "bad" men are????

Do you have ANY self awareness about how you bad mouth men ALL the time.

It's a running joke about how everyone thinks you're a nut job.

You are truly the butt of jokes.

I normally am never this harsh to anyone on this forum. But, I can only handle being male bashed by EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR POSTS for so long.

You even twist the story up in this post of yours to suit your man hating agenda.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/24182387-post5.html
I'm fine with you and your 'group' of whomever calling me names and that I'm a 'nutjob' butt of jokes whatever you all decided. What else is new? This is how it goes with people. This is how they operate. I kind of just throw up my hands at this point.

Maybe it will dawn on you that calling a person: sociopath, nutjob, etc. etc. pretty much ensures that person will not give a "flying f" what you have to say after the fact. If I downgrade men and call them names it's because they have done it to me and continue to (thanks again). It's a vicious cycle. You had no problem spitting out these things and telling someone they are the butt of jokes and then want some compassion? Based on what? Maybe you all need to get a clue too.

As far as the other post I was giving an example as to how men don't make exceptions for women when the situation is as hairy as having to pay alimony to a disabled ex or having kids by another man. I then said I don't see any point in making exceptions for them in the alimony situation.... I don't need to twist posts to fit how I feel about men and they way you act and the way you talk -- it's evident far as I can tell.

edit: I love the "I am normally never harsh to anyone" -- it came so easy just this once though didn't it?
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