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View Poll Results: Is self esteem as important as people make it out to be?
Woman: Yes. Self esteem is as important as it seems. 22 59.46%
Man: Yes. Self esteem is as important as it seems. 7 18.92%
Woman: No. Self esteem is not a big deal after all. 2 5.41%
Man: No. Self esteem is not a big deal after all. 6 16.22%
Voters: 37. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-04-2012, 07:38 PM
 
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My thoughts on self-esteem? If I don't feel good about myself, you DON'T want to be involved with me.

Or, maybe you do want to be involved with me, but you have some issues of your own.

Either way, relationships are going to be quite dysfunctional. So, yes, self-esteem is BIG.

What's so abstract about feeling good about yourself? Self-knowledge, IMO, is a prerequisite to relationships with others. The better I feel about myself, the more I am able to give to others. The more accepting I am of myself, the more accepting I am of others.

Frankly, if someone were to cross my path who felt like crap about themselves, I would be hesitant in getting involved with them, in any capacity. It's WORK to build someone up.
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Because poor self esteem usually leads to poor decision making.
Precisely. And those poor decisions often affect others as well.
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Blankity-blank!
11,449 posts, read 13,921,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
Ridiculous because you are putting people with so called HSE on some kind of pedestal, when really these folks are no better then the ones they put down for having LSE. All they are, are just a serious of traits as far as I can tell.
It's not a matter of 'better people' or not better people. Esteem is an emotional part of a person.
The people with low self-esteem put themselves down.
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Seriously, who wants to be brought down by a sadsack? Life is hard enough without that. I don't think there's a huge mystery here as to Why it's important. By all means, if you're (meaning, in general) dealing with something and are down or down on yourself for a time, fine. No one's going to feel sorry for you like you can so go for it. Then, deal with it and pick yourself back up. Don't wallow in it.
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:43 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies View Post
I'd share my thoughts with you.

First off a clarification. People use self esteem and self confidence interchangeably but actually, they are 2 different things.

Self esteem is Self-Love. It means liking and valuing yourself despite your flaws.
Self Confidence is based on the knowledge that you will probably be successful at an activity because you have been successful at similar activities in the past.


You can have one without the other.


For example, if you were to play a top tennis star, you probably would not have much self confidence becaue you know you WILL LOSE. However, if you have self esteem, you would not look down on yourself or rate yourself as a less worthwhile human being.

(I got this definition from one of the foremost CBT experts, David Burns)

That said, why is it important?
-For starters, it helps you set boundaries with people. If you don't love yourself and seek affirmation/approval from others, they could take advantage of you. You also will never feel good about it.
-People are attracted to those who have self esteem. They radiate positivity, self acceptance and acceptance of other people
-You can never be completely happy if you don't love yourself. It doesn't matter how many people love you. You'd always feel empty.

Now about CBT.
The reason I like it is personal. Out of all the self-help books out there, it is the only type that I found actually helps you face your thoughts/fears/insecurities. A lot of times, we feel bad because of the thoughts in our head and with CBT you can examine them and check whether they're valid.
9 times out of 10 when I do it, I quickly feel better. It improves my mood
I also like it because it does not involve drugs or even a therapist. You can read the books and do the work on your own.

CBT can also be used to develop your self esteem and I think it's much better than mere affirmations.
But this is just me. You have to find what works for you. I am a big fan because it works for me. That is not to say I'm perfect.... No one is
Oh okay. I thought they were the same things (SE & SC)....I think CBT encourages some people to be delusional. As you said they go around telling themselves things worked out (even if they really didn't). Is that supposed to be beneficial in some way? Daily Affirmations also never did anything for me.

I don't care what I radiate to be honest, but I sees a lot of people with S.O. and all these people you are saying have HSE? I don't beleive that. I knew a girl that did 'cutting' and she had a bunch of bf's so again, I don't think SE matters if people like you or they don't.
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:45 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Visvaldis View Post
It's not a matter of 'better people' or not better people. Esteem is an emotional part of a person.
The people with low self-esteem put themselves down.

I'm sorry but I do think they beleive they are somehow 'better' people. They're too busy looking down their noses at others to see their own faults. Also I notice too when they do admit to some kind of faults, they brush it off as 'no big deal.'
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,322,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
I'm sorry but I do think they beleive they are somehow 'better' people. They're too busy looking down their noses at others to see their own faults. Also I notice too when they do admit to some kind of faults, they brush it off as 'no big deal.'
I know plenty of people who have healthy self esteems and admit their faults. It's not that they brush it off as no big deal. They just don't let it get them down. They might be trying to change it for all you know. We hope we can be strong enough to do what we can and don't cry about the rest.
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:49 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,589,753 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
I know plenty of people who have healthy self esteems and admit their faults. It's not that they brush it off as no big deal. They just don't let it get them down. They might be trying to change it for all you know. We hope we can be strong enough to do what we can and don't cry about the rest.
Okay, well that's good for them I guess.
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,322,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
Okay, well that's good for them I guess.
Yes it is. And people seem to gravitate, consciously or un, to people who don't beat themselves up for some reason. Go figure.
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Old 05-04-2012, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,103,760 times
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Why is self esteem important?

Because with it you can accomplish anything, but without you don't accomplish much, or at least not as much as you are capable of.
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