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Old 05-23-2012, 03:28 PM
 
Location: under a rock
1,487 posts, read 1,703,573 times
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If you never stand for something, you'll never fall for anything?
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Old 05-25-2012, 05:03 AM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,542,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJDevil View Post
Well you are interpreting it wrong. I agree there is no sense being miserable and trying to fight everything. I am talking about extreme people that let EVERYTHING go including injustices.
Maybe those people have just been beaten down by things you can't imagine. You never know what a person has been though in their lives to make them the way they are.

Maybe some of these people tried to stand up for things at one point in their lives only to be beaten down time and time again. Then they came to the conlusion "it's not worth it".

That's one possiblity anyway.

A personal story:

I have an older sister he always made it a point to brag about how she never kept her mouth shut. If she had something to say, she would say it. She "stood up for things" she "stood up for people" etc etc.

Now, my father is 81 years old. He has a caregiver that sometimes mistreats him. Other times she just rubs him the wrong way. Generally, she makes him miserable, more often than not. I happen to think this isn't good for him.

My sis happens to be in love with this particular caregiver for some reason. She is the same nationality as her husband, I think that is part of it.

Anyway, my priority is my dad's happiness, not bonding with someone over culture. So, I've had to step in and have conversations with this lady time and time again. I've had to cut her hours and find other caregivers who better suit my fathers needs and personality.

My sister is furious with me. At this point, I think she is not speaking with me.

All because I am sticking up for my dad and looking out for his best interest. She doesn't agree. I can't help but be amazed by the irony and hypocrisy of the whole situation.

People love to tell other to "stand up for something", but God forbid they "stand up for something" that you don't agree with!
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Old 05-29-2012, 09:08 PM
 
Location: On the Edge of the Fringe
7,583 posts, read 6,051,038 times
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I would go back to the OP and point out a few ideas on this subject. From what I have read, in everything from classic literature to personal journals, this issue really came into fruition in the 70's with the ME GENERATION
I cannot point to any single culprit behind it, but a lot of thinking changed then and the changed in thinking influenced everything from psychology to cultural priorities.
There was a movement called Mind Dynamics which really captured and taught the "Me generation" Mentality. But the serious side effect of this was that followers and adherants basically did not give a crap. This was a result of the mind dynamic mindset, for a person to liberate himself from the bondage of maladaptive thinking, the social skills and such went with it.
Mind Dynamic spawned some very dangerous and harmful groups, like scientology and the Warner Erhardt cult. It also influenced a number of psychologists and the founder of Silvan Mind Control.
The techniques and ideas however influenced a large number of psychological theorists, and many clinical psychologists incorporated it into their philosophy.
Unfortunately I have heard it compared to playing with fire, a control of it can be used for beneficial purposes like fire, but out of control, it can be deadly.
As you can see, on a personal level, it works for the individual but for a social group, it does not consider or encourage accountability or social responsibility. I would say that the influence of this type of thinking has become more assimilated into our society today than we perhaps realized.
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Old 05-30-2012, 05:56 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,914,193 times
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^ I'm assuming by 'in love' you mean she just likes her as a person, not that she's romantically interested in this woman?
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Old 08-28-2012, 01:30 PM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,136,977 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJDevil View Post
I feel like disrespect and inconsiderate behavior is getting worse, no one gives a crap about anyone else. This means public places, ex. obnoxious behavior or unruly children; on the roads...people don't have a clue how to drive; or at home, neighbors let their dogs run around loose and cause problems, or they make noise past 10:00. People have no morals anymore, and all the people where I live are Christian.

The worst is when you try to do something nice for someone and they don't take advantage of it! If I'm at a red light and going straight, I position myself close to the center line so if someone behind me wants to make a right, they can. This morning for the first time the car behind me wanted to make a right (blinker on) and I gave her a boatload of room and she didn't go. That kind of "brain dead" blows my mind, it's incomprehensible.

I run a few meetup groups and new people join all the time but hardly anyone signs up for events. I ask what they want to do, I email some of them, and I hardly get any replies. No one gives a crap. So why do they join? People say they want to meet people and make friends, but they don't attend anything. I just don't get it. These are people with no family here.
Sometimes jumping to conclusions without appealing to the proper information can cause someone to draw conclusions and use elementary language such as "brain dead" to describe other people's behavior.

Strictly addressing the bolded part above as an example there are two reasons you may want to put yourself in that driver's seat. You may think you gave her a boat load of room, but from her vantage point it may not seem like enough room. I see it all the time. I'd rather they error on the side of caution and it doesn't make them any less grateful for the gesture. You're rather too quick to judge other people you don't know.

Secondly, should you have decided to change your mind and turn, thus, causing an accident it would have been the other person's fault for passing on the right. Were you aware of this road rule and law. A friend of mine was in a horrible accident because the girl ahead of him had her turn signal on to turn left and was at a stop so he decided to go around her, as many, many people do, and pass her on the right. She did, indeed, change her mind and it caused major damage and injury. Guess who's fault it was - HIS for passiing her on the right.

You might want to reign some of that anger in about other people and them being 'brain dead' and look inward. There might be good reason for people to do what they do.
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Old 08-30-2012, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,567 posts, read 12,792,358 times
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In the last three decades, there seems to have been a decline in awareness of the world in general. People are further and further away from reality than ever. I was out in the street this morning watching the people rush to work..could not help but wonder "how many of these people around me are on medications?" Picturing each individual going into their doctor's office and complaining about depression- stress - anxiety and so on..I bet that at least half of them are drugged up..but some how functional enough to take part in the economy.

Back in the day there were those who were seeking some sort of awakening- a spiritual awakening...people used to want to break the bounds of social slavery and go to a higher plain...Remembering back about a decade...when I was going through a process of change and spiritual awakening - and a quest for truth...I was altered...and the old me kind of drifted away...as I progressed I assumed as I was waking up and becoming more in tune with the universe and God as I perceived it- that for sure others were on this path also.


So ten years later - I figured out that people were NOT changing..That they were living where I left off...they were in the past and had a static existence...I was not expecting to become alienated from the herd...so actually - surprise set in...I had changed and the world had not...I am sure that this happens to a lot of people...That they evolve - some just do not.


It might be genetics that allows some to grow while others kind of stop in their tracks and are locked into a time and space and era..some who just don't question anything and go with the flow. Waking up is a needed- It's a lonely dirty and alienating job....BUT SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT...
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Old 08-31-2012, 02:21 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,711 posts, read 11,713,374 times
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everyone is not on a crusade.
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,496 posts, read 26,553,374 times
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I had a friend (operative word, "had"), who when we went shopping went ballistic at the Nordstrom's outlet store because the ladies room wasn't clean. She was literally ranting in public to a cashier who probably made 8 bucks an hour.

This had happened at other public places also, including a restaurant/ bar where she claimed they didn't make the right type of martini, were "cheating" on the Absolut.

There is a way to choose your battles, in order to stay sane.
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Old 09-04-2012, 04:06 PM
 
2,758 posts, read 4,949,850 times
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I think I follow the OP's original post. I have not read beyond the first few posts. It seems even with 'great friends', they have lost a lot of interest in 'my problems'.
I think mostly, everyone has some issue to deal with. And who wants to take on a friends issue, which might be:
quite petty
or small
or so 10 years ago, why is this even an issue anymore, havent you figured it out yet!?!?

I think people want to care, but there is only so much time in the day. And after We all deal with our own battles, who has time for someone elses battles?

I think generally, as a society we have become more selfish.
I mean, we barely even know our neighbors anymore.
My parents and their parents had bbq's and partys and everyone knew all the neighbors (supposedly, as I am not old enough to personnally witness this)
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Old 09-11-2012, 05:22 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,567 posts, read 12,792,358 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
everyone is not on a crusade.
Some have given up their childhood dreams of saving the world or at least leaving it a better place by the time they leave...To use the term "crusade" is inaccurate and unfair...maybe you should have said that not everyone seeks justice?

Some have been beaten down to the point that they give up and surrender...some stand to the bitter end..and at least go down fighting if that is all you have...As John Wayne..once wrote in a letter to Barbara Walters when she was being kicked around..."Don't let the bastards get you down"...
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