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Old 05-15-2012, 12:08 PM
 
77 posts, read 239,363 times
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My wife is stay at home mom, she is really good at home with Kids, and take cares of entire house. But I want her to step out of house, and learn from the world, but she doesn't like it at all.. She doesn't like making new friends, she just wants to stay at home and take care of kids, I am totally different in this case, I like going out, meeting new people, making friends.

What shall I do ? How do I convince her ? Are their good articiles you can point me to ? I hope she reads and understands something
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,074,451 times
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So, was she different when you met her? Was she outgoing like yourself or have you married someone that maybe you did not have this in common and now you want her to change? Possibly, this is how she grew up, with the mom just devoted to the kids and this is the role that she has chosen for herself. I am also wondering how many children and their ages. Being a full-time mom and housekeeper, etc. can be very exhausting. You do help out with the chores, right?
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,467 posts, read 22,713,045 times
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Is she unhappy with her life? It's one thing if she's complaining about not being out there and not doing anything about it, but if she's fulfilled with taking care of her home and family, then there's not much you can do about it. That's who you married, and that's how she is.
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Old 05-15-2012, 01:02 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,576 posts, read 42,741,316 times
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I want, I want. Quit bugging her and go at it from a less frontal assault. Take care of the kids and house for one day a week, so she can go out to lunch with a friend or to a beaty salon, etc, without hurrying.
Maybe right now, she doesn't want to be social, but maybe as the kids get older she will get involved with their school and sports activites and become more social that way. Maybe right now she's just too tired to be charming to strangers. I'm very social, but when I was home with my kids, my free time was more likely spent being quiet than exerting the effort to be with other people.
My only outlet was a monthly meeting at rotating houses with other women in the neighborhood. We also went out to dinner with 3 other couples once a month. Whomever chose the restaurant, had dessert at their house afterwards. That was totally it for me for about 10 years.
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Old 05-15-2012, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,763,789 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ga_sam View Post
My wife is stay at home mom, she is really good at home with Kids, and take cares of entire house. But I want her to step out of house, and learn from the world, but she doesn't like it at all.. She doesn't like making new friends, she just wants to stay at home and take care of kids, I am totally different in this case, I like going out, meeting new people, making friends.

What shall I do ? How do I convince her ? Are their good articiles you can point me to ? I hope she reads and understands something
My first question to you is-why is this so important to you if it is not to her? Is her life not fullfilling raising your child?

I tend to agree with your viewpoint, but I wanted to get that out there first.

Every human being needs outside influences, friends and a change of surroundings. It can be unhealthy to create an island with one person, as she has with you, and avoid others. I have known couples like this, and over a long time, the husband gets resentful.

So basically, was she this way when you were dating or were there friends in her life?

Yes, I can give you some info. I will direct message you~
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Old 05-15-2012, 01:55 PM
 
77 posts, read 239,363 times
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I totally understanding what you are saying and appreciate your comments. Actually we used to have a blast before our kids, we used to go out every weekend, but after kids life has changed a lot. we have 2 kids , 5 and 1.
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Old 05-15-2012, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,763,789 times
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When she says she doesn't want to leave the house, is it that she has some irrational fear of leaving now, or leaving the kids maybe?

Or does she simply not want to get dressed up and put on some make-up and be social?
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Old 05-15-2012, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 2,763,789 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Is she unhappy with her life? It's one thing if she's complaining about not being out there and not doing anything about it, but if she's fulfilled with taking care of her home and family, then there's not much you can do about it. That's who you married, and that's how she is.
Not really accurate. We can all learn to be flexible and make adjustments as time passes within our relationships. If something is important to one, it needs to get addressed with the other. Change is constant with all of us.

Resentment can and will build if one person is making the perameters of the relationship all about their own needs and wants.
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Old 05-15-2012, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,467 posts, read 22,713,045 times
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Quote:
Resentment can and will build if one person is making the perameters of the relationship all about their own needs and wants.
Of course, compromise and communication are the backbone of every relationship, but isn't the OP asking, "how can I change my wife to make her how I want her to be?" If the wife is focused on her young family right now, and she's more of an introvert to begin with, she's not necessarily doing anything wrong.
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:41 PM
 
12,430 posts, read 14,565,228 times
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ga_sam....sounds like you've got a real jewel for a wife....nice that she's happy staying with the kids.....could you possibly find someone to watch them that she trusts?...maybe that's her issue...no-one to watch the kids....sometimes it's a good idea to set one day a week for just you and your wife to go on a date....just like old times....even if its just a walk on the beach, or through a park.
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