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Old 10-05-2012, 07:36 AM
 
6,770 posts, read 7,498,756 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
It takes a certain level of self-esteem to stand-up to a bully or ignore a bully...Unfortunately it's not easy to reach a bully through logic or reason. If they were "reasonable people" they wouldn't have become bullies in the first place. Their conscience would have told them that it's wrong to "pick" on other people. Or wrong to "torment" others...The bully isn't going to admit to being wrong. And this is where self-esteem comes into play. The person who is being bullied has to call the behavior wrong...As in: "I may not be a perfect person but I don't deserve to be treated this way. Bullying is mean and wrong and hurtful and disrespectful to me and anyone else who gets bullied."...It's sad when people are unclear about how they deserve to be treated. Or when they let their fears get the best of them. (Fear of retaliation or retribution.. Fears about "losing everything" if they dare to confront their bully or walk away from an intolerable situation etc.)

the kind of bully your refering to ( sociopath ) will attack you for standing up to them , nothing other than boot on the throat subjugation is acceptable to them , they will resort to lies if you call them out on their behaviour , they will label your defense as arrogance ( ironic given their ubber arrogance ) and an attitude problem , you have two choices with people like this

walk away early

kill them

if you dont walk away early , you will spend the rest of your life fantasising about killing them

they are poison

i speak from personal experience
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:15 PM
 
37 posts, read 65,666 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theluckygal View Post
Yes i have witnessed this. You cannot predict the behavior of these types. Sometimes they are nice to you & do favors & at times they bully you. So you never know whats coming. Its always a suspense & somehow they sense that fear in you & act in a very unpredictable way. Its to have a psychological hold on you. They will be very polite & respectful to others & even you, in front of others but when you are alone they will say the meanest things. Others will be confused when you complain because they have seen them being polite to you. They know what they are doing & how they are manipulating people around them. They are just sick & power mongers.
This is exactly what I'm going through at work. This girl has everybody fooled and she can't do no wrong. They write me off as being nasty, having an attitude, or jealous of this girl. I never had any problems until she got there with her Narcissistic personality. I don't talk to certain people any more because instead of being neutral, they choose sides. I have no respect for people like that, because they can't think for themselves.
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Old 10-12-2012, 01:18 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
1,630 posts, read 2,289,893 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FLBorn1978 View Post
This is exactly what I'm going through at work. This girl has everybody fooled and she can't do no wrong. They write me off as being nasty, having an attitude, or jealous of this girl. I never had any problems until she got there with her Narcissistic personality. I don't talk to certain people any more because instead of being neutral, they choose sides. I have no respect for people like that, because they can't think for themselves.
I agree 100%! If it's not your fight and you don't have both sides--stay out of it.
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Old 10-12-2012, 01:19 PM
 
863 posts, read 1,023,784 times
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Joe Biden was one last night.
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Old 10-12-2012, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, Calif.
2,435 posts, read 2,722,710 times
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I guess online trolls fall in here too. People who are emboldened behind computers to post threads or make sarcastic or hateful comments about people who have no motive to harm them.
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Old 10-13-2012, 10:30 AM
 
17,170 posts, read 22,199,672 times
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Bullies are like volcanos...they spew what they are- must be a terrible existence-unfortunately, they mirror how theyve been treated,,,that the problem with alcoholics, druggies, abusers,,,the domino or ripple effects

Ive met a few bullies,,,mostly men, who have a title and think they own the other guys working for them,,,a type of control freaks....what goes around, comes around...eventually..

but sometimes,,,,they bring out the worst in you, and you'd love to pop him one.....
fortunately, that was years ago....and upper management got wind of these insecure little men
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Old 10-13-2012, 10:34 AM
 
17,170 posts, read 22,199,672 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
This seems to be the era of scapegoating. Anyone can become a "target." It's socially acceptable to make fun of people or "rag" on someone and it's no big deal!...There is no shame in being this way. It's all considered perfectly normal!...Who will become the "big joke" of the day? Or the new "target" for shame and ridicule?...There seems to be a lack of sensitivity today. And it's widespread...Thankfully most people don't engage in this type of behavior all the time...I've only run into a few "bullies" in my life and they don't seem to have much of a conscience. They don't feel guilty about their hurtful or mean behavior towards others. Somehow they justify all of it in their mind and feel entitled to say or do whatever they want...It's hard or next to impossible to "reach" people like this because they don't feel they are doing anything wrong. Something has gone "haywire" inside of them. They might be "doing to others" what was "done" to them in their past without stopping to question their behavior. What do you think?
I see the tide going the other way...in this electronic age,,,,no one knows when they are on video or even microphone...
ive even said that to gossipers...in a whisper...you know, you gotta be careful, security cameras are everywhere and you dont know where microphones are..
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Old 10-13-2012, 01:09 PM
 
6,770 posts, read 7,498,756 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
Bullies are like volcanos...they spew what they are- must be a terrible existence-unfortunately, they mirror how theyve been treated,,,that the problem with alcoholics, druggies, abusers,,,the domino or ripple effects

Ive met a few bullies,,,mostly men, who have a title and think they own the other guys working for them,,,a type of control freaks....what goes around, comes around...eventually..

but sometimes,,,,they bring out the worst in you, and you'd love to pop him one.....
fortunately, that was years ago....and upper management got wind of these insecure little men
never feel sorry for a bully , many of them revel in how they treat others , its a cliche that all bullies have self esteem issues , some people are just plain nasty , being nasty is in their nature , oh and if what went around , eventually came around , stalin would not have died in his own bed or countless other monsters the world over , again , cliched crap
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Old 10-13-2012, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,179,672 times
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I've been dealing with a male bully in the political section of another forum who has definitely been giving me a "run for my money." But he surprised me yesterday...He caught one of my posts in another section where I was talking about the recent death of my son. (And losing my husband too.)...He said he was so sorry for my losses. And went on to talk about his wife who passed away 8 years ago...Before his wife became bedridden they recorded a cassette tape of their favorite songs together...After she died he listened to the songs on the tape over and over again even though it was painful and brought back memories of their life together...He said he knew his grief was subsiding when the songs didn't "rip him apart" anymore...He opened-up and wrote from his heart about his wife (and her death) even though it's totally out of character for him...He's "Mr. tough guy" and the main bully on the other forum and takes pride in being this way...He went back to being mean and nasty and sarcastic today. We haven't "crossed paths" since he opened-up about his wife so I don't know how he'll be with me or treat me today. (But most likely he'll continue being nasty and mean and competitive...As usual!)...I guess some bullies do have a few "soft spots" left. But other bullies have become "hardened" and hateful and mean and spiteful beyond "repair!" Sad!
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Old 10-13-2012, 04:57 PM
 
17,170 posts, read 22,199,672 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
never feel sorry for a bully , many of them revel in how they treat others , its a cliche that all bullies have self esteem issues , some people are just plain nasty , being nasty is in their nature , oh and if what went around , eventually came around , stalin would not have died in his own bed or countless other monsters the world over , again , cliched crap
ive come a long way....

In high school I witnessed a bully....bullying,,then he went into the bathroom,,,,well, I followed,, I kicked him in his ass as he was "going" and he got covered, I told him if I ever see that again,,,your head will be in an unflushed toilet- then when he came out of the bathroom, I grabbed him by the neck and brought him to the kid he bullied and made him apologize- I asked the bullied kid, if he wanted to sucker punch him in the face- he said no... I told the bully this kid was more of a man than he was.

fortunately I was a couple years older and bigger than he was
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