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Old 05-31-2012, 02:59 PM
 
2,365 posts, read 2,132,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by summer22 View Post
Bullying traits are a personality disorder. Basically we're dealing with an untreated mental illness.
I agree. I did come across a bully in school who was later diagnosed as bipolar. When someone raised their voice with her or used bad language, she would back off.

Got lots of good references to reading material from this thread. Thanks.
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Old 05-31-2012, 03:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TimeMachine View Post
We have a whole host of bullies in my family. Family members who never liked my mom, so they bullied her kids as a proxy. I've had to cut them off, very toxic. I'm talking about people 20-30 years my senior bullying me since I was born, they needed to get a life and never did, so they're outta here!
I could totally relate to that - 'Bullied by proxy'
Moving away was the only solution for me. They wont miss you anyways, so whats the point hanging around?? They will find another punching bag. Even if its close members of the family, cut them out. There are lots of good people in this world so make a good life for yourself, surrounded by good people who respect you. People dont necessarily mature or become better with age so no point playing nice or being patient. Just fire them from your life & move on to better things
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Old 05-31-2012, 08:25 PM
 
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hmm...adult bullies. Well, the only place I ususally encounter as such, is in a corporate environment.

Normally, once the behavior is identified. I will directly address it, have a discussion.

If that fails, I will wait until no witnesses are around and break out some psycho that scares the living **** out of them.

That never fails. Within a week or two after going psycho. They're walking on eggshells. And I smile at them like nothing ever happened.
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Old 05-31-2012, 08:41 PM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,090,677 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tegota View Post
hmm...adult bullies. Well, the only place I ususally encounter as such, is in a corporate environment.

Normally, once the behavior is identified. I will directly address it, have a discussion.

If that fails, I will wait until no witnesses are around and break out some psycho that scares the living **** out of them.

That never fails. Within a week or two after going psycho. They're walking on eggshells. And I smile at them like nothing ever happened.

I've been considering taking similar actions at my job. I haven't thought of certain people as being bullies, just grouches up until today. One of my co-workers (who I work closely with) and been mistreated a couple times, I don't think I can sit by idly and watch it continue.
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Old 05-31-2012, 08:59 PM
 
Location: the Great Lakes states
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"Managing Workplace Bullying: How to Identify, Respond to and Manage Bullying Behaviour in the Workplace" by Aryanne Oade (2010) was at my library; it was very good.

Anything by Gary Namie on this topic is good, also.
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Old 05-31-2012, 09:49 PM
 
479 posts, read 706,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by looking4answers12 View Post
I've been considering taking similar actions at my job. I haven't thought of certain people as being bullies, just grouches up until today. One of my co-workers (who I work closely with) and been mistreated a couple times, I don't think I can sit by idly and watch it continue.
Yeh, those are tough scenarios to navigate...but also great opportunities to practice varying approaches and discover what works for you. In that they're literally everywhere.

Over time, I've learned to laugh at obnoxious behavior to the offending parties face. Or just blankly look at them like they're stupid. Being emotionally detached when interacting with those parties, is key...

It's when one becomes emotionally engaged in whatever the other is doing; that they win.
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Old 06-01-2012, 07:24 AM
 
2,365 posts, read 2,132,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tegota View Post
If that fails, I will wait until no witnesses are around and break out some psycho that scares the living **** out of them.
How do you do that? I had seen something like this on a tv show - fresh prince of bel air, but never took it seriously since it was comedy. Please elaborate.
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Old 06-01-2012, 07:39 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,761,533 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito View Post
Yup, adult bullies are everywhere and it seems almost like this kind of behavior gets rewarded or overlooked. I've always had trouble with some other person trying to ruin me, but rarely did it include management at my job until recently. This new manager seemed determined to get me for whatever he could. What stopped him was continually proving to him that I wasn't at fault and he's since let up. I'm not going to let my breath out yet though.



Interesting, I'll look for it.

However I don't think all bullies are sociopaths. Sociopaths tend not to feel, whereas a lot of bullies get positive feelings out of making other people feel bad. Sociopaths tend to do things because they can and have no idea of how it affects others negatively, and they wouldn't care if they did.
I don't believe thats always true of a sociopath, they can be charmers, none-the-less fall under the umbrella of power and control, the same as rape is an issue of power and control.
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Old 06-01-2012, 09:18 AM
 
2,365 posts, read 2,132,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by summer22 View Post
"Managing Workplace Bullying: How to Identify, Respond to and Manage Bullying Behaviour in the Workplace" by Aryanne Oade (2010) was at my library; it was very good.

Anything by Gary Namie on this topic is good, also.
Thanks a lot for the references. Will add to my reading list.
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Old 06-01-2012, 09:55 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,710 posts, read 22,761,533 times
Reputation: 17456
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer22 View Post
"Managing Workplace Bullying: How to Identify, Respond to and Manage Bullying Behaviour in the Workplace" by Aryanne Oade (2010) was at my library; it was very good.

Anything by Gary Namie on this topic is good, also.
Do the recommendations work? Could you give a mini book review.
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