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Old 05-19-2012, 10:01 AM
 
2 posts, read 1,922 times
Reputation: 10

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Hello.
(Not a usual religion category question)
I am a guy and am short in stature. I did so many things for about 4-5 years but nothing helped and I stopped growing.
It shouldn't have actually done anything to me,but I found that eventually as I have lived,
over the years(freshman year now and studying well) I have become significantly shy,insecure,
silent,scared of girls(I have no female friends),scared of meeting people(non friends) alone in the street(I can take another street if I know prior). I find people very shallow.

Since I don't really put forth my feelings and make an impression on people in reality,
I tend to keep imagining things like me doing something cool and everyone seeing me.
( and I hate it)
You know,when you dream of becoming something you have a mental picture of what it will be on that day. I have had loads of such imaginations,all my life, but in all of them,I have been a tall(at least not this short) person.

My life is not actually bad or something I am NOT cribbing about anything and there are short people who have achieved things. But one thing is that I am not one of them. Do I have to be one?

Religion seems to address the right things to do and the good that comes out of it.
But what about someone who is uninterested in stuff? Are they wrong? Is there a lesson from this?(unfulfilled desires)

People say things like height don't matter,but isn't it dependent on the person concerned? How can you generalize with feelings?

lol I don't even know how I expect you guys to reply.

 
Old 05-19-2012, 10:41 AM
 
Location: playing in the colorful Colorado dirt
4,486 posts, read 4,332,415 times
Reputation: 6932
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_x View Post
Hello.
(Not a usual religion category question)
I am a guy and am short in stature. I did so many things for about 4-5 years but nothing helped and I stopped growing.
It shouldn't have actually done anything to me,but I found that eventually as I have lived,
over the years(freshman year now and studying well) I have become significantly shy,insecure,
silent,scared of girls(I have no female friends),scared of meeting people(non friends) alone in the street(I can take another street if I know prior). I find people very shallow.

Since I don't really put forth my feelings and make an impression on people in reality,
I tend to keep imagining things like me doing something cool and everyone seeing me.
( and I hate it)
You know,when you dream of becoming something you have a mental picture of what it will be on that day. I have had loads of such imaginations,all my life, but in all of them,I have been a tall(at least not this short) person.

My life is not actually bad or something I am NOT cribbing about anything and there are short people who have achieved things. But one thing is that I am not one of them. Do I have to be one?

Religion seems to address the right things to do and the good that comes out of it.
But what about someone who is uninterested in stuff? Are they wrong? Is there a lesson from this?(unfulfilled desires)

People say things like height don't matter,but isn't it dependent on the person concerned? How can you generalize with feelings?

lol I don't even know how I expect you guys to reply.
The only time height really matters is when what you need is on a high shelf and there's no ladder around.

It's all up to you. Just because you're short in stature doesn't mean you have to be short in personality. I'm 4'11" and my personality is at least 6'2".

As for women, sure, it's gonna be a deal breaker sometimes. That's their problem if they're that shallow. My dad was 5'1", my mom was 5'10". It didn't seem to bother them. Daddy was also an Air Force officer. My cousin Phillip was a Marine drill instructor, all 5'2" of him. He never had a shortage of dates.

Your height only limits you if you let it. Polish up that smile and get out there, show the world who you are and what you're made of!
 
Old 05-19-2012, 11:31 AM
 
Location: OKC
5,426 posts, read 5,569,862 times
Reputation: 1760
Here's my advice:

There's few things more socially attractive than confidence. And it's easy to get into a spiral where your lack of social success causes lack of confidence, which leads to more social failures.

You need to break out of that spiral. Go some place where no one knows you, and start chatting up attractive women. Understand that you are going to fail, and at first you will feel a bit humiliated. But the goal is to get comfortable with rejection. Once you are no longer afraid of rejection, you will project more confidence and become more socially successful. The whole key here is to lose fear of rejection, and be confident in who you are as a person.

I had a friend who sold books door to door in the summer during school. The company he worked for did not have a quota for how many sales they made every day - they had a quota for how many times they had to be rejected per day. They got up each morning and said, "I'm going to knock on doors until I've had the door slammed in my face 50 times."

That's the kind of perspective one needs to have when interacting with girls in high school. Don't care too much that they will reject you, be confident.

That's my advice, take it for what it's worth.
 
Old 05-19-2012, 11:59 AM
 
Location: playing in the colorful Colorado dirt
4,486 posts, read 4,332,415 times
Reputation: 6932
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxcar Overkill View Post
Here's my advice:

There's few things more socially attractive than confidence. And it's easy to get into a spiral where your lack of social success causes lack of confidence, which leads to more social failures.

You need to break out of that spiral. Go some place where no one knows you, and start chatting up attractive women. Understand that you are going to fail, and at first you will feel a bit humiliated. But the goal is to get comfortable with rejection. Once you are no longer afraid of rejection, you will project more confidence and become more socially successful. The whole key here is to lose fear of rejection, and be confident in who you are as a person.

I had a friend who sold books door to door in the summer during school. The company he worked for did not have a quota for how many sales they made every day - they had a quota for how many times they had to be rejected per day. They got up each morning and said, "I'm going to knock on doors until I've had the door slammed in my face 50 times."

That's the kind of perspective one needs to have when interacting with girls in high school. Don't care too much that they will reject you, be confident.

That's my advice, take it for what it's worth.
That's great advice!

Looking back over my own dating experience, the confident guys were also the hottest. They didn't have to be the most attractive, many of them were pretty blah in the looks department to be honest, and most of them were not tall either. They had an air of confidence about them that made them stand apart from the herd of arrogant jocks and spoiled "cute" guys.

Yep, the confident ones were real keepers!
 
Old 05-19-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,830 posts, read 9,747,770 times
Reputation: 58197
Quote:
Originally Posted by pamelaBeurman View Post
That's great advice!

Looking back over my own dating experience, the confident guys were also the hottest. They didn't have to be the most attractive, many of them were pretty blah in the looks department to be honest, and most of them were not tall either. They had an air of confidence about them that made them stand apart from the herd of arrogant jocks and spoiled "cute" guys.

Yep, the confident ones were real keepers!
This is so true! Personally, I have always been attracted to shorter men, height was never a requirement for me and in fact, it made me a little uncomfortable when men towered over me. So, young man, there is a girl out there for you who likes short men over tall ones and if you have the personality to go with it then you're set!
 
Old 05-19-2012, 02:33 PM
 
1,554 posts, read 1,525,948 times
Reputation: 84
The best one among people, in the sight of God, is the most God-fearing among them.

Not the short or the tall, not the rich or poor, but the God-fearing one.

Quran Man after Death
 
Old 05-20-2012, 04:38 AM
 
2 posts, read 1,922 times
Reputation: 10
Thank You.
Did I say I'm interested in dating women?
I just don't have any female friends and that is all. I am afraid to talk to them(or rather uncomfortable).
I don't even want a relationship or something. I haven't even thought on those lines.
If there are 2 organizations that do the same job,one having all guys and another some girls I'll take the 1st one.
I have no bad ideas or something in my head. This is how I've grown up.

The problem is that I'm weird. I can live without knowing women and there is no trouble now,but that is just a weird issue ,cuz there is no reason to treat them any differently. But I seem to be programmed different.

The issue is,
When you dream of becoming something you have a mental picture of what it will be on that day. I have had loads of such imaginations,all my life, but in all of them,I have been a tall(at least not this short) person.

So its just a situation here. I don't think I can be reformed anyway, so any views on someone who is not interested in anything?
 
Old 05-20-2012, 08:26 AM
 
Location: playing in the colorful Colorado dirt
4,486 posts, read 4,332,415 times
Reputation: 6932
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_x View Post
Thank You.
Did I say I'm interested in dating women?
I just don't have any female friends and that is all. I am afraid to talk to them(or rather uncomfortable).
I don't even want a relationship or something. I haven't even thought on those lines.
If there are 2 organizations that do the same job,one having all guys and another some girls I'll take the 1st one.
I have no bad ideas or something in my head. This is how I've grown up.

The problem is that I'm weird. I can live without knowing women and there is no trouble now,but that is just a weird issue ,cuz there is no reason to treat them any differently. But I seem to be programmed different.

The issue is,
When you dream of becoming something you have a mental picture of what it will be on that day. I have had loads of such imaginations,all my life, but in all of them,I have been a tall(at least not this short) person.

So its just a situation here. I don't think I can be reformed anyway, so any views on someone who is not interested in anything?
Honey, it doesn't matter which way your gate swings, the advice is still the same. Be confident, even if you have to fake it for a while.

As for women, yep, we're just plain damn awesome and impossible to live without.

All joking aside, you're young and you don't have all the answers yet, you don't even have all the questions either. That's how it's supposed to be.

Life has a way of sorting itself out.
 
Old 05-20-2012, 10:01 AM
 
7,788 posts, read 10,446,446 times
Reputation: 3392
Thread is closed.
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