Gift of kindness ruined (woman, thoughts, emotion, people)

[carolyninfl]

This is just to runpast you, just to see if I shouldnt of took it rudely or not.

I am a server in a small diner.

I wait on regulars everyday for years.

It was the other day this 85 year old mans birthday. So I figured I would get him a little something because he is alone.

I got a little bag of truffles with a card attached.

I put it on his table and he saw it when he came in.

I put My name and another servers name on card.

Before he even looked at the card he picks it up and says "Is this from Steve"? Steve is the owner.

I said No, Fred. Happy Birthday its from me and so and so.......its on the card

He said Oh....Oh.

I just felt that was rude.

Any thoughts? and he never said thank you omg

[cislga]

If he's a regular, I could understand him initially thinking the card was from the owner. To receive a card and gift with no thanks is rude, no doubt about it!

I think what you did was thoughtful and considerate. I would like to be a regular in your diner.

[NY Annie]

Carolyn, rather than think him rude, perhaps you can think that he was overwhelmed with emotion and unable to speak.

What you did was indeed thoughtful and considerate. Let it stand as that. A true gift is given freely, without even the expectation of a thank you.

[carolyninfl]

Originally Posted by NY Annie

Carolyn, rather than think him rude, perhaps you can think that he was overwhelmed with emotion and unable to speak.

What you did was indeed thoughtful and considerate. Let it stand as that. A true gift is given freely, without even the expectation of a thank you.

You are right Annie

[theluckygal]

He would probably thank you when he comes back. Sometimes you just dont have the right words when you are surprised. You did a good thing so be happy.

[Tintlelli]

I agree with the others, that this guy may have just said "oh..." because he didn't expect candy and a card for his birthday from the waitresses. Maybe he was already lonely and feeling really low that he was going to have his 85th birthday meal alone in a diner and he was totally surprised that you gave him a little gift. I don't think the "gift of kindness" was ruined. I think you did a good thing.

[Dale Cooper]

What a sweet thing you did.

[jim9251]

You preformed an act of kindness to a fellow human. You are to be commended.

[Three Wolves In Snow]

Originally Posted by carolyninfl

This is just to runpast you, just to see if I shouldnt of took it rudely or not.

I am a server in a small diner.

I wait on regulars everyday for years.

It was the other day this 85 year old mans birthday. So I figured I would get him a little something because he is alone.

I got a little bag of truffles with a card attached.

I put it on his table and he saw it when he came in.

I put My name and another servers name on card.

Before he even looked at the card he picks it up and says "Is this from Steve"? Steve is the owner.

I said No, Fred. Happy Birthday its from me and so and so.......its on the card

He said Oh....Oh.

I just felt that was rude.

Any thoughts? and he never said thank you omg

What you did was a very nice gesture and probably made his day.

It is NOT ruined. You should give because you want to, because you know it will make the other person happy, not because you want recognition or a thank you.

As someone else mentioned, he may have been overwhelmed by the kind thought and gift.

Just know you did something kind, that should be enough.

[Mightyqueen801]

People don't always react the way they think you should.

Your act of kindness still makes you a good person, no matter how it was received. And as others pointed out, you might not really know how he felt.

We do expect appreciation, though, that's just human. One time a friend of mine asked me if I would come over and type up a letter for her neighbor. The neighbor needed to send a letter regarding child support to the county court, and English was not her first language and she did not know how to type. My friend knew I could do this for her and I agreed to do so. (This was in the 80s before PCs, so we were using an electric typewriter).

I asked the woman what the situation was and she explained it to me in her broken English. I composed a good letter that would get her point across, typed it up nicely and gave it to her to sign. The woman was thrilled--and promptly ran to my friend and thanked her over and over for helping her WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO DID ALL THE WORK. She never said boo to me, not thanks, not goodbye, not anything. Just left with her letter in her hand, happy as a pig.

And to make it worse, my friend's response to this nitwit thanking her was "Well, I just try to help people because when I die I want to go to Heaven."

I wanted to crack their heads together, but I just took a deep breath and decided that if there's anyone keeping score of good little deeds done, I'd just earned a checkmark. Of course, if there's anyone keeping score of suckers, I got a checkmark for that, too.