Does anyone here truly wish they had never been born?

[chuck_steak]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

I've always wondered about this too. Since I believe a lot of our 'gender identity' is in fact socialized into us, and is a product of both how people treat us and how we in turn present ourselves to the world, I'm curious as to how people who are trans feel they are 'in the wrong body.' Like you say, just what about being female actually affects your consciousness? I suppose it's because you'd like to be TREATED like a female instead of a male? But these days the sexes are treated more equally than ever before, although obviously still differently. Because you want people to see you as a female because you feel more comfortable assuming the female identity?

Or I wonder if you (as in dragonborn or anyone who is trans for that matter) believe it's even more innate than that...that you feel 'too sensitive' to be male, although of course being 'sensitive' is not exclusively a female trait.

There is a difference between sex and gender. Many crossdressers want to be treated as a woman, but transgender people are born in the wrong body. There is a spectrum of TG people some identifying TS, TV, bi, TG, etc. It just depends on where along the spectrum they are at the particular time in their lives.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by chuck_steak

There is a difference between sex and gender. Many crossdressers want to be treated as a woman, but transgender people are born in the wrong body. There is a spectrum of TG people some identifying TS, TV, bi, TG, etc. It just depends on where along the spectrum they are at the particular time in their lives.

While I do agree there are some inherent differences between male and female brains, what I'm curious as to how it actually FEELS to be a woman. How different would one's consciousness be compared to mine?

My hunch is that MOST of the DIFFERENCE would be due to how OTHERS treat you, moreso than anything else. So if I, for instance, could convincingly pass as a woman and be treated as a woman, that might actually begin to shape my consciousness (a lot of which is my own view of the world, what I feel is my place in the world, sense of belonging to an environment, relationship with others) and after long enough I'd feel like a woman in a sense. But if I was a more tomboyish girl, for instance, I'd say I'd feel less different. The same would go for someone being treated as another race. I think overall, it wouldn't feel that different being a female human being in terms of actually experiencing the world. I share all the same sense organs and other organs with women except for the reproductive organs. While there are subtle differences, I think I would generally feel emotions, see, hear, smell, touch and taste just like a woman. You know what I'm getting at?

[Cunucu Beach]

Originally Posted by Woof

No, Cunucu, it never occurred to us to do something.

The question was not, "Does it ever occur to you to do something?" It was, "Does it HELP to do something?" The post was made in good faith so a snarky reply is out of line.

[BigDGeek]

Speaking honestly and only for myself....yes, I often wish I'd never been born. I'm relatively fortunate and have never gone to bed hungry or had to worry about being shot, killed, dragged out of my home, etc. I've had a pretty cushy first-world existence.

That being said, I am also single and childless. I'm not very social due to Asperger's and also due to Asperger's, I'm often not treated well when I'm out and about, probably because of some signal or cue I'm giving off inadvertently that causes people to treat me poorly. It's aggravating and frustrating for me.

Basically I feel like I exist to be a cog in the machine, so to speak....a consumer who keeps consuming, keeps paying their taxes, and doesn't use the services that those taxes pay for. No kids, so I'm not soaking up public school funds. I have a job and insurance, so I'm not soaking up welfare or Medicaid. I'm a net contributor.

Basically I feel like my whole life is "have to" and it's boring and devoid of joy. I feel like my life was wasted on me.

It's not a gift I plan on returning...I've existed this way for nearly 40 years, I can do another 40.

In short...wishing you'd never been born and wanting to kill yourself are two VERY different things. I do not, repeat NOT, have any suicidal thoughts or ideations of any kind. Period.

[Cunucu Beach]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

While I do agree there are some inherent differences between male and female brains, what I'm curious as to how it actually FEELS to be a woman. How different would one's consciousness be compared to mine?

My hunch is that MOST of the DIFFERENCE would be due to how OTHERS treat you, moreso than anything else. So if I, for instance, could convincingly pass as a woman and be treated as a woman, that might actually begin to shape my consciousness (a lot of which is my own view of the world, what I feel is my place in the world, sense of belonging to an environment, relationship with others) and after long enough I'd feel like a woman in a sense. But if I was a more tomboyish girl, for instance, I'd say I'd feel less different. The same would go for someone being treated as another race. I think overall, it wouldn't feel that different being a female human being in terms of actually experiencing the world. I share all the same sense organs and other organs with women except for the reproductive organs. While there are subtle differences, I think I would generally feel emotions, see, hear, smell, touch and taste just like a woman. You know what I'm getting at?

Most women--this one, at least--are very aware that a man has a big edge on the power that comes with his larger size and bigger muscles, especially upper body, and they know full well they are at a great disadvantage when it comes to hand-to-hand confrontations.

One of the prime differences between the psyche of men vs. women can be somewhat summed up this way: Sex is what a woman gives in order to get the love she wants and love is what a man gives in order to get the sex he wants. Women place a higher priority on love and men place a higher priority on sex. Men also need admiration more than a woman does. His ego can be crushed more easily.

Women tend to go mooshy about babies, much more so than men do. Women love to talk, talk, talk, especially with other women and they talk more about their feelings than do men. Men talk with other men but the subject matter between two men is more likely to center around external factors.

Men compete; women cooperate. Metaphorically, men are "pack animals" who band together for "the hunt" and women are "herd animals" who band together for survival and protection of their young.

I'm sure there are many things that make a woman's psyche a bit different from that of a man but these are some off the top of my head.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by Cunucu Beach

Most women--this one, at least--are very aware that a man has a big edge on the power that comes with his larger size and bigger muscles, especially upper body, and they know full well they are at a great disadvantage when it comes to hand-to-hand confrontations.

One of the prime differences between the psyche of men vs. women can be somewhat summed up this way: Sex is what a woman gives in order to get the love she wants and love is what a man gives in order to get the sex he wants. Women place a higher priority on love and men place a higher priority on sex. Men also need admiration more than a woman does. His ego can be crushed more easily.

Women tend to go mooshy about babies, much more so than men do. Women love to talk, talk, talk, especially with other women and they talk more about their feelings than do men. Men talk with other men but the subject matter between two men is more likely to center around external factors. Women may cooperate more but ultimately that is for the purpose of competition too, look at how women compete among each other for the best men. All animals must compete as individuals and as a species. Natural selection is that species pruning off weak branches and making itself stronger.

Men compete; women cooperate. Metaphorically, men are "pack animals" who band together for "the hunt" and women are "herd animals" who band together for survival and protection of their young.

I'm sure there are many things that make a woman's psyche a bit different from that of a man but these are some off the top of my head.

I think both men and women need love. Not that I'm disputing men and women sometimes have different motivations for sex, but personally speaking I want sex to be a pathway to intimacy and love too, and some women seem not to have a romantic bone in their body.

Yes in this species those are the generalities, although men do display some herding behaviour and women can act like a pack of lionesses at times as well.

[Cunucu Beach]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

I think both men and women need love. Not that I'm disputing men and women sometimes have different motivations for sex, but personally speaking I want sex to be a pathway to intimacy and love too, and some women seem not to have a romantic bone in their body.

Yes in this species those are the generalities, although men do display some herding behaviour and women can act like a pack of lionesses at times as well.

There are no absolute boundaries between "male behavior" and "female behavior" as there are variations and crossovers in every aspect. I was giving generalities as to some of the areas where men are more prone to one type of behavior and women are more prone to another type of behavior.

Of course, men want love, and women want sex. Women have a harder time separating their emotions from sex than do men. Men can more easily have uncommitted sex for sex's sake than can women; even when women do have uncommitted sex, they still tend to want some kind of connection to the man. A man can more easily have sex and then walk away and never give the woman another thought. Like Billy Crystal said in the movie, City Slickers, "A woman needs a reason to have sex. A man just needs a place." It's a matter of priorities. A woman wants love and sex; a man wants sex and love. (Again, speaking in generalities.)

I was speaking metaphorically about women having the "herding instinct" for their mutual protection and protection of their young. Yes, we know the female lions do ALL the work in a pride--they hunt, they take the food to the lion who is head of the pride, they care for their young. But there are many lionesses and only one lion in a pride. And in many animal species both the males and the females live apart, coming together only for mating. In general, women will look to other women for emotional support (when they don't get it from their mates) which they are likely to have a greater need for than men.

More women watch soap operas on TV than do men and more men watch sporting events on TV than do women. Men are more aggressive and competitive and women focus more on relationships.

I think men are probably very aware of their superior physical strength and women are very aware of it, too. That's why God gave us the "bit.ch gene" to defend ourselves with. It levels the playing field a little.