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gosh i'm having trouble saying what i want to say in this thread, forgive me if this gets rambly, i just can't find a way to word my response accurately. the thing of it is, i agree with pretty much everything that has been said here, from trimac's opening post on acceptance (of hate) to the last post from shankapotomus's view that such 'acceptance' reinforces bad behavior. i think that while the words acceptance and detachment are understood by most people intellectually, in reality and in the moment, we tend to confuse acceptance and detachment with indifference. most people in a goodly intentioned efforted way, strive for acceptance, detachment, but as the law of reversed effort is insidiously prevalent, suppression and repressive tendencies result in nothing more than indifference, at best. which is why the more things change, the more they stay the same.
after a lifetime of being at the mercy of my own emotional nature, i finally realized something that literally changed my entire world, outlook, perspective and the way i relate with other people....and most importantly, how i relate with/to myself.
i am not my emotions.
does anyone else see how we all identify with our own emotions, how we identify other people as their emotions? beyond intellectual understanding, i mean. when you say it, it seems so obvious, and yet the incredibly obvious still isn't enough to effect any real shift in perspective.
it came to me one day when i was thinking about the concept of detachment. a particular incident in my life that i can't remember what now, when i thought i was being detached, but i still had an emotional response. so i knew i was kidding myself, emotional reaction is a sure sign that i was not detached....i was indifferent, at best. i was attempting to detach my emotions from the person and circumstances, but that is really suppression, repression, and not detachment at all. when i realized the way was to detach from my emotions, and not attempt to detach my emotions from the event or person.....it was a light-bulb moment of...i dunno, cosmically huge proportion for me.
you can have your emotions and let others have theirs....whether it's hate, sadness, anger or happiness, joy and affection. but the way to master your emotions, and not be at the mercy of them is to realize that none of your emotions are you. emotions are not who the other person is, either. it doesn't make for an excuse for your behavior or anyone else's.....the only one who can cut the puppeteer's strings is YOU. when you realize who and what you are NOT, your emotions no longer have control over you, and you truly understand what it means to be detached from them, and not just indifferent to what's going on all around you.
gosh i'm having trouble saying what i want to say in this thread, forgive me if this gets rambly, i just can't find a way to word my response accurately. the thing of it is, i agree with pretty much everything that has been said here, from trimac's opening post on acceptance (of hate) to the last post from shankapotomus's view that such 'acceptance' reinforces bad behavior. i think that while the words acceptance and detachment are understood by most people intellectually, in reality and in the moment, we tend to confuse acceptance and detachment with indifference. most people in a goodly intentioned efforted way, strive for acceptance, detachment, but as the law of reversed effort is insidiously prevalent, suppression and repressive tendencies result in nothing more than indifference, at best. which is why the more things change, the more they stay the same.
after a lifetime of being at the mercy of my own emotional nature, i finally realized something that literally changed my entire world, outlook, perspective and the way i relate with other people....and most importantly, how i relate with/to myself.
i am not my emotions.
does anyone else see how we all identify with our own emotions, how we identify other people as their emotions? beyond intellectual understanding, i mean. when you say it, it seems so obvious, and yet the incredibly obvious still isn't enough to effect any real shift in perspective.
it came to me one day when i was thinking about the concept of detachment. a particular incident in my life that i can't remember what now, when i thought i was being detached, but i still had an emotional response. so i knew i was kidding myself, emotional reaction is a sure sign that i was not detached....i was indifferent, at best. i was attempting to detach my emotions from the person and circumstances, but that is really suppression, repression, and not detachment at all. when i realized the way was to detach from my emotions, and not attempt to detach my emotions from the event or person.....it was a light-bulb moment of...i dunno, cosmically huge proportion for me.
you can have your emotions and let others have theirs....whether it's hate, sadness, anger or happiness, joy and affection. but the way to master your emotions, and not be at the mercy of them is to realize that none of your emotions are you. emotions are not who the other person is, either. it doesn't make for an excuse for your behavior or anyone else's.....the only one who can cut the puppeteer's strings is YOU. when you realize who and what you are NOT, your emotions no longer have control over you, and you truly understand what it means to be detached from them, and not just indifferent to what's going on all around you.
Excellent post.
A self-actualoized person learns to deal with and accept their emotions, on their own level.
Validationis not necessary.
Those who crave validation allow society to dictate the norm. They lose their insight and become followers.
I'm sorry for being honest here. I hate some people. I'm Catholic and I was taught (not by my parents, but by my religion) that you're not supposed to hate anyone. Sorry, I do. That's the way I'm wired.
Yes, I have a reason. The few people I hate have done fairly egregious unilateral things that I have not processed too easily or have not processed at all.
I reason on things by definition. According to Dictionary.com: Hate - To dislike intensely or passionately. To feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest. Im not politically correct. So It is not difficult for me to admit that I have rarely experienced that definition in my life. Sure there have been people who have hurt me. Or those that have proven by toxic habbits to be unsafe association. But since I am able to differentiate behavior and person, I have yet to feel disgust for any human being. Sorry if that sounds lame to those who are unable to not hate.
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