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Whenever someone says don't worry be happy, or any combination of words related to happiness with less, I am left thinking of the thread question. Furthermore, I start thinking about Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
What I am wondering is
1) Whether or not people agree with the hierarchy
2) Whether or not it is possible to being happy with less.
3) Whether or not the human condition always makes us strive for more.
If this is the wrong forum please move it to wherever it is applicable.
I agree with the hierarchy and I agree with its presentation as a pyramid, because fewer people achieve the upper levels. Maslow's approach and focus themselves are interesting. Psychology had concerned itself for a long time with abnormality, that is mental illness, psychosis, neurosis, dissatisfaction, etc. Maslow chose to look at the opposite end of the spectrum, that is happiness at the deepest levels, which he called self-actualization.
I believe it's possible to be happy with less, assuming that by "less" you mean less money, fewer material luxuries. Very sophisticated surveys have shown that beyond basic comforts (the first two or three levels of the pyramid), there is almost no correlation between more money and happiness.
I'll bet I have plenty of company in this personal life experience: College and graduate school and the first years of marriage were exciting, interesting, and fulfilling times. It was a time of first independence, of learning, of going to study in new places (Europe, in my case), etc. But it was also a time lived on a shoestring, a time of part-time jobs and pinching pennies. Looking back, those years were the most vital, adventurous, and rewarding of my existence - those years when I had the least.
Well, yes, then I did want more. I wanted more money, and to a limited extent was successful in that quest. (I had no where to go but up!) I am now 68 and I'm certainly glad to have a secure if not lavish retirement. It's great not to have to worry at all about that first level of the pyramid! And there continued to be rewarding and gratifying moments later in my life. But looking back, the best times were as I described above. I didn't realize it back then; I suppose I was too busily engaged in interesting and exciting things.
Last edited by Escort Rider; 06-09-2012 at 05:49 AM..
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Maybe I'm a glass empty kind of guy, but when I think more I think the more you have to lose! Sometimes having more can actually make you MORE stressed and LESS happy.
As long as my basic needs and financial security are taken care of, I don't really covert any material possessions or comforts. Actually, the idea of having a huge mansion, or a luxurious sports car, or sending my children to the most exclusive school lives me quite unaffected. A house is still a house, a car is still a way to get from A to B, and a school doesn't have to break the bank to be good. I highly doubt any of these things would greatly improve my quality of life. The thing I personally seek most is peace of mind: if you have peace of mind, and are at peace with yourself, others, the Universe and if you believe in one, a Deity, then you can basically handle whatever life throws at you. Without peace of mind, even the wealthiest person can be utterly miserable or feel their existence is hellish.
Some people seem amazed when many people in the third world seem more happy and fulfilled than they are. They think that they're happy DESPITE not being able to get stuck in a traffic jam every morning before work, despite not being able to buy processed food from the supermarket, despite not pulling their hair out because they cannot repay their debts - all because we're constantly indoctrinated with this idea that success = wealth = happiness. If you're not a success in life, you're a 'loser' who should be miserable. Success means financial success, other types of success or not nearly as emphasized.
Some of the happiest people I know are quite poor. They have their basic needs met though.
Then there is the case of "smiling - big grin" 5 year old kids. They have their basic needs met, but otherwise have nothing. And they don't have the problems and stress which come along with being an adult and dealing with finances - thus the big smile? (Notice that smile gets wiped off their faces as soon as they grow up and move out.)
Then people who have a lot of money and a lot of material things also have a lot of problems and the stress which goes along with it. All those "things" break and you need to call repair people. If you have a big huge mansion, there is probably something broken somewhere every day and someone there fixing something every day. If you are mega rich, you can hire a staff of people to take care of all those things, but that adds even more problems. An employee will be on drugs. Someone will suddenly quit. People will steal things. One super rich person I heard about had 60 employees at his mansion. 60! Well you then have all the problems of society with those 60 employees.
Then how do these people make all that money? I once was talking to a big shot CEO of a corporation. He was miserable. His employees were all on strike demanding more money which his company did not have. His job was on the line. He looked totally worn out and stressed beyond compare. I was a "nobody"* there fixing one of his "things" and he opened up to me and said he might need to find a new job. Joking, I mentioned my company was hiring repair people. His eyes lit up and he said he would like nothing more than to have a regular 8-5 job without all the stress and worry.
*I later went on to become a manager. That was the beginning of a ton of stress and the end of my happiness. As soon as I walked in the door, I had to deal with a depressed employee on drugs who was going through divorce and not showing up for work regularly. Sure I was making "more" money. But was it worth all the stress? I think not.
Anyway if you have little or nothing, be THANKFUL for what you have. You can be quite "rich" in the happiness department with very few material things.
Great thread and posts!...I've seen a lot of couples sort of "split apart" and go their "separate ways" as they got older and became more financially secure. Sad!...But it's no fun to be "bogged down" and "stuck" at a "survival level" either. Well it can be fun (at times) to come up with creative ideas to save money and "get by" and "make do."...They say that "necessity is the mother of invention" and I've definitely found this to be true. When we have the "means" to buy everything we want (or hire people to do jobs for us) it can "stamp out" our own sense of creativity and initiative. And we might not have a chance to discover all of the "hidden skills" that lay dormant inside of us.
I don't have much money but I'm out of the rat race, have a steady income that I have learned to live on and I am quite happy with what I have. Material possessions beyond decent housing, transportation, sufficient food and a few other things like that mean nothing to me. Family and friendships are everything.......and I do mean EVERYTHING.
I have had the opportunity to work with folks from Haiti. Haitians have taught me so much. They are usually dirt poor, but so happy. It was amazing to me. And very humbling. It made me really look at my life and values. And helped me be a happier person. If you have family and friends you are wealthy. As far as money goes...all you need is food, shelter, and a job. The rest is fluff.
I also have spent time with people who have disabilities. And that is also humbling. How can you whine about being depressed....when you are healthy, and see a person with major health issues being all cheerful.
What I am wondering is
1) Whether or not people agree with the hierarchy
2) Whether or not it is possible to being happy with less.
3) Whether or not the human condition always makes us strive for more.
Maslow identified the most basic human needs that mankind requires... from both a a physical standpoint and from a psychological standpoint. The physical needs are the bottom two (physiological and safety), and when they are reasonably met, the other needs above (psychological) can be addressed.
Understanding what he meant by self-actualization, at the very top, is where I think confusion often takes place. It really has nothing to do with acquiring more material things, power or prestige. It has to do with being fulfilled in life. Some here have already mentioned others they know who have accumulated power and/or material things but are basically unhappy. They have not self-actualized. On the other hand, you can take someone else with much fewer resources, and they love what they are doing in life and would not change a thing. They are self-actualized. There are lots of people who are constantly striving who feel that something is missing in their lives.
The happiest times of my life were when I had very little. I wish I knew it at the time. Happiness is when desire meets expectations.
Exactly! Unfortunately, in modern western society, expectations are way too high.
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