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Old 06-14-2012, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC
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If someone consistently declines good job offers, boy/girl relationships with potential, and other high-profile opportunities, what are the psychological reasons at play? Laziness? Fear of the spotlight?

What would a psychologist say drives these decisions? And maybe this "tendency" is correct, just being true to oneself(?).
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Old 06-14-2012, 10:54 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Lack of self-confidence/low self-esteem, probably. If you're put in a high position, it means you have to constantly produce up to that par. To some people, that feels like a lot of pressure, too much.
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Old 06-15-2012, 10:19 AM
 
Location: right here
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Well without seeing the person, usually deep down one doesn't feel like they deserve it. Maybe something happened in his/her childhood that they received something of value ( a good grade, praise) and someone either told he/she that it wasn't deserved or he/she was laughed at. Also, some people deep down are scared of success because yes it comes with pressure and stress.
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Old 06-15-2012, 01:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dnvrsoul View Post
Also, some people deep down are scared of success because yes it comes with pressure and stress.
Scared is not the word, but I see what you're saying. People try to balance the pressure/stress with monetary reward equation. For some, being at the top of the heap is not important. It comes with a long list of "shoulds." In a company setting, you need to belong to all these organizations, schmooze, play golf, and have a wife and a family. In some settings, if you don't, kiss the corner office good-bye. So people don't fear it. People weigh what it entails and try to find someplace on the continuum of success that works better for their personalities and values.
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Old 06-15-2012, 02:57 PM
 
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Not a psychologist, but to me it seems like performance anxiety resulting from low self-esteem or confidence issues. Maybe they dont believe they deserve success or they might have been offered an opportunity in the past & screwed up badly & now they are afraid they might mess it up again.
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Old 06-16-2012, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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Some people thrive on competition and social networking and all the "politics" involved in "moving up the ladder." (And other people don't.)...Some people just want to live a quieter and more peaceful lifestyle versus getting all caught-up in the "rat race" and "dog eat dog" environment that can play-out in the corporate world...Who is right and who is wrong? Who is willing to "sell their soul" to the highest bidder for wealth and status and titles? And who wants to keep their "soul" pure and intact?...It seems like people have become angrier and angrier today. Why? I think it has to do with work-related stress and pressures...In order to keep decent paying jobs today people have to "stuff" most of their feelings and "jump through hoops" to keep pleasing their bosses. Anyone can be "let go" or "phased-out" at any time...We have to work (or have some source of income) to "get by" in this world. But do we really have much "input" or a chance to express our own ideas or creativity on our jobs? (No, not really. Or not very often anyway.) Mostly we are told "what to do" and "how to do things" according to company policies. And we call this being successful?....Back in the old days people worked long hours farming or operating their own stores and businesses in their communities. Sometimes they worked day and night for periods of time to get everything "done." But at least they had more "input" over their lives and a chance to instigate their own ideas...Now we have corporate agriculture and corporate outlets (in every town) that make it hard for "little people" to take advantage of our free enterprise system. We're all "stuck" working for corporations whether we like it or not!....Some people have qualms about being little more than a "pawn" or "robot" or "cog" in the "wheel." Some people long for more independence and autonomy and more peace in their lives even if it means having to live on "less!" We're all different!!
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Old 06-16-2012, 11:01 AM
 
14,727 posts, read 33,249,550 times
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Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Some people thrive on competition and social networking and all the "politics" involved in "moving up the ladder." (And other people don't.)...Some people just want to live a quieter and more peaceful lifestyle versus getting all caught-up in the "rat race" and "dog eat dog" environment that can play-out in the corporate world...Who is right and who is wrong? Who is willing to "sell their soul" to the highest bidder for wealth and status and titles? And who wants to keep their "soul" pure and intact?...It seems like people have become angrier and angrier today. Why? I think it has to do with work-related stress and pressures...In order to keep decent paying jobs today people have to "stuff" most of their feelings and "jump through hoops" to keep pleasing their bosses. Anyone can be "let go" or "phased-out" at any time...We have to work (or have some source of income) to "get by" in this world. But do we really have much "input" or a chance to express our own ideas or creativity on our jobs? (No, not really. Or not very often anyway.) Mostly we are told "what to do" and "how to do things" according to company policies. And we call this being successful?....Back in the old days people worked long hours farming or operating their own stores and businesses in their communities. Sometimes they worked day and night for periods of time to get everything "done." But at least they had more "input" over their lives and a chance to instigate their own ideas...Now we have corporate agriculture and corporate outlets (in every town) that make it hard for "little people" to take advantage of our free enterprise system. We're all "stuck" working for corporations whether we like it or not!....Some people have qualms about being little more than a "pawn" or "robot" or "cog" in the "wheel." Some people long for more independence and autonomy and more peace in their lives even if it means having to live on "less!" We're all different!!
Some people don't like the phoniness. I could see this playing out mostly in the corporate world or any firm that is "pyramid shaped." I don't think this affects dentists and optometrists, for example, who just go to work every day and make decent coin. I've had health providers who I could never see as investment bankers, and that is not in the least bit negative...in fact, I view it is as a compliment.

The biggest phony I know climbed into a nice niche in the insurance brokerage world. Everything about him is "eyewash" - looking good, hobnobbing with the right people, and saying the right things. Underneath, he's a house of cards and his personal life is FAR from being in order. I get the impression that industry is very much like that.
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Old 06-16-2012, 11:23 AM
 
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It might not be a "fear" of success, rather an understanding of success and the burden which comes along with it. The person might be smart by choosing a less stressful and lower profile life.

An extreme example is the job of President of the U.S. Everybody and their brother examines the President's life with a fine tooth comb and makes anything negative public. Or will attempt to make things into a negative. Read a book about a past President's wife or kids. See what they have to go through on a daily basis. They can't just walk into a store and buy a candy bar. It is like they are in prison due to all the security.

A CEO of a large corporation might have to put up with a lot of backstabbing and slander. Not to mention all the stress.

Famous people like movie stars can't go to the grocery store without a mob of people wanting their autograph.

It can be a good thing to be a "nobody" and blend in with the crowd.
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
It can be a good thing to be a "nobody" and blend in with the crowd.
Well, maybe not exactly a "nobody," but a regular person with a regular job and a regular life. Each person has a different interpretation of "regular," I'm sure.

As long as I can take a nice trip once a year, and maybe a few smaller ones, I'm happy.
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Old 06-16-2012, 09:12 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,779,416 times
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Lack of self-confidence/low self-esteem, probably. If you're put in a high position, it means you have to constantly produce up to that par. To some people, that feels like a lot of pressure, too much.
This. With success comes pressure and responsibility, once you're successful it doesn't mean life will be a bed of roses and you'll always be happy.

If 'success' means being the CEO of a major company who is constantly stressed out, has no time for his family, and dies of a heart attack at the age of 60, then I don't want that form of 'success.' There are some things all the money in the world can't make up for.

Americans in particular seem obsessed with 'success' and being a 'success' or a 'winner' (not that others don't, it just seems more woven into the American psyche).
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