U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-21-2012, 05:27 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,489 posts, read 11,474,558 times
Reputation: 20959

Advertisements

One definition of the word Parasite shows as this.. but dont parasites come in more shapes than this, One who habitually takes advantage of the generosity of others without making any useful return. I had a so called online friend who phoned me every night.. twice a night and spoke for over and hour and longer the second call... now during these conversations, my husband would come in from work. as she knew his times, but still gabbed on not caring if it was dinnertime or not or if I wanted to talk to him... then shed close the converstation with,,, "Oh almost time to prepare dinner" as she had hers much later than we did.... then she d call at nine while I was relaxing and watching telly.. and talk till my ear stuck to the phone... now I did try and tell her that I had other things to do, but it didnt seem to matter.. everything was on her time.... and this went on until I could take no more, my nerves were at breaking point and I had to ask her to phone during the day instead of night time... this didnt please her at all and she was furious hitting me with "you dont care" and "I thought I was your friend".. to be honest what started off a nice friendship started to make me feel ill and sick... this to me is a parasite, and not always related to money.... any views on this?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-21-2012, 05:31 AM
 
3 posts, read 6,006 times
Reputation: 12
Hardly a parasite more a pain. You ought to be more assertive and should really have nipped it in the bud earlier.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-21-2012, 05:57 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,489 posts, read 11,474,558 times
Reputation: 20959
your so right. but I felt sorry for this person as she said she had bad health issues early on in the friendship but yes your right... a pain
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-21-2012, 10:27 AM
 
921 posts, read 1,697,714 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
One definition of the word Parasite shows as this.. but dont parasites come in more shapes than this, One who habitually takes advantage of the generosity of others without making any useful return. I had a so called online friend who phoned me every night.. twice a night and spoke for over and hour and longer the second call... now during these conversations, my husband would come in from work. as she knew his times, but still gabbed on not caring if it was dinnertime or not or if I wanted to talk to him... then shed close the converstation with,,, "Oh almost time to prepare dinner" as she had hers much later than we did.... then she d call at nine while I was relaxing and watching telly.. and talk till my ear stuck to the phone... now I did try and tell her that I had other things to do, but it didnt seem to matter.. everything was on her time.... and this went on until I could take no more, my nerves were at breaking point and I had to ask her to phone during the day instead of night time... this didnt please her at all and she was furious hitting me with "you dont care" and "I thought I was your friend".. to be honest what started off a nice friendship started to make me feel ill and sick... this to me is a parasite, and not always related to money.... any views on this?
Several options come to mind:

1.) Stop taking her calls.
2.) If you take her call, tell her at the outset, "I can talk only for 10 minutes, then I really have to go." Set an egg timer or the like for 10 minutes. When it goes off, tell her, "I'm sorry, I can't talk anymore. I have to go." And end the call.
3.) Confront her directly about how insensitive she seems to your need to go, and about her try to make you feel guilty for having to end the conversation.

Pick one, stand firm with it, and her behavior will change, though it make take several repetitions before it does.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-21-2012, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,489 posts, read 11,474,558 times
Reputation: 20959
tried them all Rock Jock. really I did you have no idea how persistent and self centred this women was.. if I didnt lift the phone when she rang she would leave messages on the answering machine, asking why I wasnt home, or where was I.. it was terrible.. my nerves were shattered, this was like a stalker in the end... even if I said I had the family in for dinner she would ask why as it didnt fit in with her calls. or tell me that the other gran should mind the grandkids if I was babysitting... I had no free time at nights at all, ... and no she didnt take a telling or a hint.. it had to be just a complete shutdown.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-21-2012, 05:15 PM
 
921 posts, read 1,697,714 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
tried them all Rock Jock. really I did you have no idea how persistent and self centred this women was.. if I didnt lift the phone when she rang she would leave messages on the answering machine, asking why I wasnt home, or where was I.. it was terrible.. my nerves were shattered, this was like a stalker in the end... even if I said I had the family in for dinner she would ask why as it didnt fit in with her calls. or tell me that the other gran should mind the grandkids if I was babysitting... I had no free time at nights at all, ... and no she didnt take a telling or a hint.. it had to be just a complete shutdown.
Trust me, I'm well acquainted with how rigid neurotics can be in their behavior. And it always get harder before it gets better, because they act like junkies jonesing for a hit. They take your refusal to listen to them as code for "try harder". But eventually (and possibly with the help of a restraining order) they learn that the well has run dry.

It really sucks that you had to go through that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-22-2012, 01:29 AM
 
Location: California
313 posts, read 489,208 times
Reputation: 251
I live with an emotional parasite. He nearly always has a complaint. He turns something very small that he could fix into a big deal: then he lectures about it in a condescending voice as if it's a big problem. He is obsessive compulsive about nearly everything and he repeats himself multiple times in a single conversation: he has very little if any tolerance for my opinions; I cannot lead a single conversation; he always has to dominate every single conversation then acts hurt if I do not want to talk with him. It's truly an emotionally abusive situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-22-2012, 01:58 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,489 posts, read 11,474,558 times
Reputation: 20959
oh what a shame... as its mentally draining on you furrypro... thanks Rock Jock for undestanding and your input..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-22-2012, 06:10 AM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,363,106 times
Reputation: 1944
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
your so right. but I felt sorry for this person as she said she had bad health issues early on in the friendship but yes your right... a pain
Well, do you think perhaps your parasite simply found somebody who doesn't know how to say "no?"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-24-2012, 07:23 PM
 
632 posts, read 628,843 times
Reputation: 689
There are passive ways to drive somebody crazy. My advice would be to call up your friend several times per week & say nothing. Block your number, use a calling card. I think they may have banned spoof cards but if they still exist, use random phone numbers of people or businesses. You can create a mystery where you you know all the details. Never them what you know or how you know it. Often times the real Sherlock Holmes creates his own mysteries to end the monotony.

It's even more cruel when you lose interest in your friends. Tell them they are boring and bring nothing to the table and never speak to them again. This is the easy way out if you do not want to create a mystery that can only be solved by you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top