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You asked an opinion question, even said in another post that you thought you might be "ripped a new one", but when someone gives an opinion different than most of the responses, you get offended?
It wasn't just an opinion, she took it into a personal insult. (Which violates terms of service, but whatever...)
It doesn't matter. She conveniently overlooked the specifics of what I told her these people did. She just took it into a very general non-mom (at press time) vs. moms thing. She's a 'special case' though, who cares. She is probably is exactly the same way they are.
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Honestly, my first thought was maybe it's you, but that's not fair because readers have no comparison of other times you tried to hang out with these so called friends and what the results were.
Thank you for having an open mind on that!
There have been other instances of little things over time, yes.
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I also thought maybe you're reading too much into it, or maybe they did have a reason they didn't care to explain. I'm a parent of one, and I hate to ask other people to watch my kid. I tend to prefer to do something with friends (kids or no kids) where my child can come, unless it's supposed to be a break.
That'd be fine if they did. I just ask them to be upfront with me. If they want to come up with a fake excuse because they're tired, do it and get it over with. But go back to my original post and read what I said they did. Particularily Example 2. In her mind, her time as a mom is sooooo much more valuable than mine, that I deserved to be strung along for as long as she wants to. I finally caught her at the very end of the day to get an answer. And I knew she was avoiding me the entire day, because I saw her posting a bunch of other nonsense on Facebook. And even THEN..... she didn't view that as the end of it. She messaged me a few days later, hours before the movie, to give me the conclusive "Sorry, I can't go." Was she freakin' serious? Like she seriously thought I was still waiting on her word at that point. Arrogant.
As for getting people to watch her kid, she has no problem dumping the child with her mom while she goes up north (to the exact same town this movie was in, she goes there all the time!) to spend her husband's money....
People will do this with anything. IE. I have too many friends, I dont have time to devote strictly to you. I have too important of a job, I dont have time for you. I have an army of children, I have too much to do to make time for you. People who are jerks will make excuses no matter what it is...they're always too busy and their time is ALWAYS more important than yours.
I cut those people out of my life ASAP because I am a time natzi.
I agree with you sailordave. I mean really, what kind of friend are you OP, for talking badly about your friends behind their backs on a public forum. And you talk about your friends being jerks...
They're not friends, like I told another poster earlier, I just don't know how to delete them gracefully.
Actually though.... I just deleted Example 2. She was always a fairweather friend, whereas Example 1 and I actually were close at one time in our lives & she's the one with more mutual friends. So that's still a little more tricky. But I finally unloaded the other dead weight. So that's good.
Based on how arrogant she is though, I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks my offer from two years ago after her daughter was first born to babysit sometime is still on the table even now....
People who are jerks will make excuses no matter what it is...they're always too busy and their time is ALWAYS more important than yours.
I cut those people out of my life ASAP because I am a time natzi.
Yep...
And actually I didn't send Example 1 that message because she was friend #1 to confide in. I had closer friends at that time. But I knew she shared the same medical condition. That is why I confided in her.
And Example 2: She was the only person I could think of who was a fan of the filmmakers of that independent movie.
(I had forgotten all about my cousin, who liked them too. Had I thought of him first, I wouldn't have asked her at all.)
I didn't approach them because I held them in any special esteem or thought of them more than others in my life.... ya know?
I stayed back out of this to see how this topic developed. To the OP, your true nature is becoming apparent. You come across as hating children and their parents. As a parent, much of your world should revolve around your children. It's called responsible parenting. You also seem to hold it against your friend that she chooses to be a stay at home mom instead of having a job. Being a stay at home mom is a job. You seem to want them to go out with you as if they don't have kids. I bet you'd love to live in a community that has no children at all. Unfortunately, there's agrowing number of people who openly hate kids and their parents calling them breeders or telling pregnant women to get an abortion or "don't you think you've had enough kids". That's the reason for the parenting backlash against people with your attitude. My daughter is in college. I love kids. My wife loves kids. But due to her medical problems we can neither have any of our own (my daughter was from previous marriage) nor adopt.
LOL. One of the two friends I was at the beach with the other day is a mom.
OP, To me it looks like they were using the most convenient excuse to avoid you. There are many possible reasons for that. Making up an excuse sounds more like they were trying to spare your feelings than being a jerk. Of course they could have been honest with you. I wonder if they have a history of making up excuses with you and the children excuse is just the latest.
When people go through life-changing events such as parenthood, they are changed and their relationships change. Maybe they no longer felt a connection with you. Sometimes when people evolve they may grow apart and just have to leave some relationships in the past. And that's okay; that's life. As you said in another post, "We're obviously operating in two different worlds in more ways than one!"
You stated that you were watching them to see what they were doing. That makes you appear needy, among other things, and if that is the case it is another possible reason they might want to avoid you.
At any rate, both sound like they would prefer to detach from you so maybe you should allow them to do so gracefully. As you said, you saw them interacting with others so you know they had the time to interact with you, but clearly they didn't have the desire to interact with you. You may want to ask yourself why your friends are making up false excuses to avoid you.
OP, To me it looks like they were using the most convenient excuse to avoid you. There are many possible reasons for that. Making up an excuse sounds more like they were trying to spare your feelings than being a jerk. Of course they could have been honest with you. I wonder if they have a history of making up excuses with you and the children excuse is just the latest.
When people go through life-changing events such as parenthood, they are changed and their relationships change. Maybe they no longer felt a connection with you. Sometimes when people evolve they may grow apart and just have to leave some relationships in the past. And that's okay; that's life. As you said in another post, "We're obviously operating in two different worlds in more ways than one!"
You stated that you were watching them to see what they were doing. That makes you appear needy, among other things, and if that is the case it is another possible reason they might want to avoid you.
At any rate, both sound like they would prefer to detach from you so maybe you should allow them to do so gracefully. As you said, you saw them interacting with others so you know they had the time to interact with you, but clearly they didn't have the desire to interact with you. You may want to ask yourself why your friends are making up false excuses to avoid you.
Mmm, I still call "jerks" on this, because how do you explain my mommy friends I still love and hang out with? They're not pulling that immature crap.
Anyway, one of them is off my list and the other one remains on block. It's like a weight off my shoulders.
You stated that you were watching them to see what they were doing. That makes you appear needy, among other things, and if that is the case it is another possible reason they might want to avoid you.
mmm, nooo.... Maybe hurt. Maybe looking for closure?
Up until I extended my invitations though, I really hadn't thought of them that much.
Example 1 DID send me a Facebook message out of the blue a few months back saying, "I know you like new music so here are some songs for you." We never talk and I block her from my feed, so I thought that was decent.... then I go to listen to the songs and they all have shady lyrics about estranged relationships. One of them was that Gotye song! lmao (So funny.)
...... But extremely immature.
Mind you, I hadn't spoken to her or acknowledged her in ages before she did this.
So who's got the mind of whom?
Example 2, years ago when we briefly hung out, I remember walking into the house we were at and overhearing a mutual friend tell her, "Minnesconsinite is one of the only true friends you've GOT!" (Because, surprise surprise, she was treating me like crap back then too..... pre kid.)
In short, thanks for the support from most people in this thread.
I'm gaining self-esteem slowly but surely.
These two are just basically still in middle school playing games. It has nothing to do with them being moms. They'd be doing it with or without kids. It's just that now they're using their kids as pawns in their little games sometimes.
I honestly don't know where some posters got the idea you hated kids? I couldn't agree more with the examples you provided that those two over-extended their mommy card. How I hate that, too.
I look at my sister who has two girls. Oh, how I love them and sis and her husband go out of their way to be the best parents they know how to be. They must be doing something right, b/c the girls are awesome. (I don't think I'm completely biased!)
Sometimes, when the girls were younger, it was difficult to talk to her on the phone but for the most part, she wanted to make sure I was included in their life. She might say "I forgot your birthday...I'm crazy busy but you know I love you." See? There's a difference between stating a fact about being busy and giving an excuse, as the OP's "friends" did.
I agree in some ways that if you were a jerk before, you'll likely be when you start a family, but I've seen mostly normal people turn into self-righteous hypocrites once they have children. I'm not a child hater but the first time someone thinks that they're more important because they had a kid (and that somehow I'm not as important), then yea, you're an all-time jerk and I won't consider you much of a friend anymore.
I have an inlaw, who I love very much, much she shields her children from us (her brother & I). She doesn't invite me to my nephews birthday parties b/c I don't have kids. How freaking insulting. Or sometimes when she's talking about an event or something she's interested in, she ignores me or goes out of her way to not include me, because I don't have kids. One might say, as was suggested, that they just don't like me. This is very possible. But what a seriously crummy way to express this: I'm going to act like I like you and then turn around and avoid you and make silly statements like "I'm just too busy with the boys". I can smell that steaming pile a mile away.
What can I say? There are always going to be parents who defend their attitude and never see it for what it is...and then there are those parents, like my sister, that I admire. Has nothing to do with the kids.
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She is probably is exactly the same way they are. 
Like she seriously thought I was still waiting on her word at that point. Arrogant. 
