Living with a Dad with OCD

[Aleister Crowley]

The Luvox is working quite well. The hardest part was getting him to put things in his mouth. He has serious issues regarding control. He has a gag reflex when swallowing pills.

Originally Posted by conniesav3

Aleister Crowley: How did the Luvox work for your father? Did it control him and allow him to function?

Findlly 185: Growing up in your family sounds horrible. I can see why you would not want much contact with your parents. I too have a Graduate Degree in Nursing an was an E.R. Nurse for 20 years. My parents were the opposite. They always pushed us to do our best, no matter what career path we followed. Four our six kids went to college, two followed a trade career. All are successful. The one big thing that bothered me was that when we started dating, if we brought the person to our home, we had to sit in the livingroom or kitchen with that person, with our parents present. There was absolutely no going off alone in the house. But for some reason, boys were treated differently than girls in our family. It was o.k. for my 18 yr old brother drive with his girlfriend to Florida for a week. It was o.k. for them to get married at ages 19 and 18. By the way, they are still married with three grown girls. I always felt uncomfortable about bringing home a boyfriend or talking about one with my parents, so I did neither.

Findly 185: Be careful about dating or possibly marrying someone with OCD. You may be attracted to the type of man that you grew up with or that is familiar. It does not go away. as you know, and can make your life difficult. I don't mean to avoid anyone with OCD, but you had such a horrible experience growing up with two parent role models with OCD. I wish you luck.

[looking4answers12]

My father does not believe in therapy of any kind. I try not to get angry with him, but sometimes it can't be helped. Not only to I suspect he suffers from OCD, but he also likely suffers from depression. Since he has always refused therapy, there is no clinical diagnosis.

But, heres the thing. I do believe it is sometimes helpful to know what disorders a person suffers from. But, knowing doesn't always make it any less painful for the people who become the target of the disordered person. At some point, whether a person has a disorder, or they simply have some really bad habits, a person has to either take responsiblity for their behavior, acknowledge and and work to improve it, or they will risk damaging their relationships and losing the people who they love.

Yes, its a wonderful to want to care for our loved ones no matter what. But the reality is, we all have our limits. And when a person's disorder causes them to become abusive toward the people around them. Then, the people around them have every right to protect themselves and do whatever necessary to protect their OWN mental health.

[conniesav3]

I totally agree with you about protecting your own mental health. We want to take care of our loved ones but sometimes it is so unbearable that we have to take care of ourselves first, especially if they are becoming abusive. OCD is almost like alcoholism. Most people with it will not admit that their behavior is a problem. It works for them, even though they are not that happy. Most of the time, they just don't see that something is wrong. My two children and I, and sometimes my brothers and their family will go out to dinner once a week with our parents. My father especially likes getting together. I noticed that it has been a routine for over 10 years now.. Sometimes one or the other cannot or does not feel like going. My father accepts that, and gets a little disappointed. At the beginning of this thread, I did not mention that if Dad was going to refuse to to to the appointments that I set up for him, I was planning on telling him that I may not go our weekly dinner. I bet it would motivate him, as family is very important to him. Do what you have to do. If separating yourself from it saves your own mental health, then that is what you have to do. But sometimes we all need someone to help us when we are not aware that our behavior is destructive to ourselves and others. I just separate myself, but intervene when necessary, because I know that If it was me, they would try to help me. Everyone and their situation is different.