My psychologist wants me to get over an obsession she considers unhealthy (men, parent)

[RockJock1729]

Originally Posted by AishaGurl91

I had to see my psychologist today. My mom wanted me to because she saw me drawing on a picture of William Zabka with a Sharpie (and I had an appointment anyway).

I explained to my psychologist (a really nice lady) that I have had angry feelings about William Zabka. I have a collection of anti-Zabka pictures saved to my computer, and I even have some drawings of him (including at least one of him getting tortured). My psychologist asked why I hate William Zabka so much. I told her it was because Johnny Lawrence, his character in The Karate Kid, scared me. I told her about my pictures, as well as an incident last year where I called a classmate Johnny Lawrence during an argument. My psychologist concluded that I am obsessed with William Zabka. She said it was unhealthy.

My psychologist thinks I'm overreacting, since I've never met the guy. She said that William Zabka is just an actor. I want to agree with her, but I'm nervous. I didn't think I had an unhealthy obsession. She wants me to get over my obsession, but I don't know how. Unfortunately, the session was cut short, so we didn't have time to think up cures.

Do you have any advice about my obsession?

This doesn't sound like a fixation on William Zabka as much as a fixation on Johnny Lawrence, and William Zabka just happened to play Johnny Lawrence.

What was it about Johnny Lawrence that scared you so much?

Can you tell us about the argument where you called our classmate Johnny Lawrence? What was it about?

[TracySam]

Originally Posted by AishaGurl91

Yeah.

I have mixed feelings about what he thinks of his role. Zabka is actually quite proud of having played Johnny Lawrence. On one hand, I think it's a very negative role. On the other hand, it made people know who he is.

Well, the fact that you have any feelings, at all, about an obscure actor from a movie from 28 years ago and the "negative" role he played, seems to say that your psychologist is right in that this is a very unhealthy fixation that you need to address.

[gentlearts]

I am no psychiatrist, but it seems to me that it doesn't matter who or what you are fixated on, but only that you are. It also doesn't matter if your psychologist wants you to get over your fixation. DO YOU want to?
Here's the thing. If you don't nip this in the bud, then you might very well develop other fixations until they all control you.

[MrRational]

OP: Does your psychologist know you're asking these things of strangers on the internet?
Do you have a psychologist at all?

[AishaGurl91]

Originally Posted by RockJock1729

This doesn't sound like a fixation on William Zabka as much as a fixation on Johnny Lawrence, and William Zabka just happened to play Johnny Lawrence.

What was it about Johnny Lawrence that scared you so much?

Can you tell us about the argument where you called our classmate Johnny Lawrence? What was it about?

Johnny Lawrence was pretty much the embodiment of everything that I hated in a person - mean, sharp-tongued, popular, domineering, and violent. He reminded me of bullies I knew, only worse. Plus the fact that he was tall, blond, and well-built. (No offense to any blond guys!) After I watched the movie for the first time, I had a nightmare that I was being beaten up by him and the other Cobra Kais.

For a while, I felt uncomfortable around guys who resembled Johnny in any way. I remember moving my seat when a guy with similar hair to Johnny (blond and feathery) sat down near me during one of my classes. Though I did become friends with him later.

In class, this one guy had made a comment to someone that I found unsavory. He had talked down on a group of people (I think immigrants - I forget). I told him that he was wrong. He said that I don't have the right to butt in. When he started talking in a harsher tone, I called him Johnny Lawrence. (This was before class started, so the professor didn't find out. And the kid was blond too, though his hair was in a crew cut.) I hate that kid. Real jerk around women.

[Billy_J]

As I said above, I don't care to be around those types of people.

So far as bullies, they always get what is coming to them. I tell my young male friends it is not worth it to get in a physical fight with these types. Just keep away from them and watch the show. They will eventually get themselves in trouble one way or another - it never fails!

Other than that, you can find "good guys" in certain places. People who do volunteer work are pretty good people. You might want to find groups where you can do a bit of volunteering if you have the time. Note people who are selfish are not "giving" types of people. But people who are unselfish are giving types of people - and are concerned about the welfare and feelings of other people - those who do volunteer work are like this.

Maybe other people might have some suggestions on where to meet "good" young guys/people?

[D217]

Maybe you could focus your aggression towards a hobby of some sort, like say, karate...

[Prettygyrl777]

Originally Posted by MrRational

OP: Does your psychologist know you're asking these things of strangers on the internet?
Do you have a psychologist at all?

I agree (well, at least with that first part). You should really process those feelings with your psychologist at your next session. By the way, no one comes up with a "cure" during the first session. Therapy is a process and it does take time to find healthy solutions to your issues. It would probably help to write down your thoughts so you have something to bring to your next session.

[RockJock1729]

Originally Posted by AishaGurl91

Johnny Lawrence was pretty much the embodiment of everything that I hated in a person - mean, sharp-tongued, popular, domineering, and violent. He reminded me of bullies I knew, only worse. Plus the fact that he was tall, blond, and well-built. (No offense to any blond guys!) After I watched the movie for the first time, I had a nightmare that I was being beaten up by him and the other Cobra Kais.

For a while, I felt uncomfortable around guys who resembled Johnny in any way. I remember moving my seat when a guy with similar hair to Johnny (blond and feathery) sat down near me during one of my classes. Though I did become friends with him later.

In class, this one guy had made a comment to someone that I found unsavory. He had talked down on a group of people (I think immigrants - I forget). I told him that he was wrong. He said that I don't have the right to butt in. When he started talking in a harsher tone, I called him Johnny Lawrence. (This was before class started, so the professor didn't find out. And the kid was blond too, though his hair was in a crew cut.) I hate that kid. Real jerk around women.

These bullies you knew that Johnny Lawrence reminded you of--did they bully you, too?

[Pammyd]

Originally Posted by AishaGurl91

I had to see my psychologist today. My mom wanted me to because she saw me drawing on a picture of William Zabka with a Sharpie (and I had an appointment anyway).
I explained to my psychologist (a really nice lady) that I have had angry feelings about William Zabka. I have a collection of anti-Zabka pictures saved to my computer, and I even have some drawings of him (including at least one of him getting tortured). My psychologist asked why I hate William Zabka so much. I told her it was because Johnny Lawrence, his character in The Karate Kid, scared me. I told her about my pictures, as well as an incident last year where I called a classmate Johnny Lawrence during an argument. My psychologist concluded that I am obsessed with William Zabka. She said it was unhealthy.My psychologist thinks I'm overreacting, since I've never met the guy. She said that William Zabka is just an actor. I want to agree with her, but I'm nervous. I didn't think I had an unhealthy obsession. She wants me to get over my obsession, but I don't know how. Unfortunately, the session was cut short, so we didn't have time to think up cures.
Do you have any advice about my obsession?

Maybe this William Zabka is a nice guy beyond his acting career? Lots of actors appear to be horrible people on the screen but in real life they are nice guys/gals. You can't possibly think that what he portrayed in Karate Kid is the way he really is in real life?? What he does on TV and on the Screen is his JOB not who he is as a person. Do some research into his life online and see if I am not close to correct about him. He is probably a good guy. In the meantime learn the difference between Pretend and REAL and I think your whole concept over character portrayals will change.