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I wish I could cry. I cried when my dad passed away but that's the only time I remember I cried. When my past relationships have ended, I didn't cry. Now, I feel so sad cause I just broke up with a man I really like. I wish tears would flow from my eyes so I would feel better but its just not happening.
I wish I could cry. I cried when my dad passed away but that's the only time I remember I cried. When my past relationships have ended, I didn't cry. Now, I feel so sad cause I just broke up with a man I really like. I wish tears would flow from my eyes so I would feel better but its just not happening.
Oh Lord, that I could give you some of my tears! I wish I wouldn't cry so easily!
I wonder if our childhood affects our ability to cry. (Or not.)...Were you allowed to cry as a child? How did your parents or brothers and sisters or friends (etc.) react when you cried as a child?...Both my parents were pretty strong and "tough" people who had no trouble expressing what they felt. (In any given moment!)...They both felt free to express a wide range of emotions...If they were angry they said so and showed it! And I saw both my parents cry at times...When I cried my parents were comforting. They related to my sadness or disappointment etc...After I got my tears out they helped me put things in perspective....Sometimes they were stressed or preoccupied and they cut me "short." But all in all I grew-up feeling that it was okay to cry. And okay to "feel mad" and frustrated and disappointed etc.. And okay to talk things out so I could get to the "bottom" of my feelings etc.
I certainly haven't had any trouble crying lately, that's for sure.
But I when I'm around other people I tend to adopt the stiff-upper-lip stance. I don't see crying as a sign of weakness, nor am I embarrassed that I do cry. It's just something I prefer to do in private, I guess.
Crying is a sign of weakness. Also, some people aren't as emotional and sensitive to some things as we'd like to think and it all comes down to how much something means to them for them to cry. Some people have cried so much, they just stop crying altogether.
One of my friends, who I met about 3-4 months before her death, grew particularly close to me but when she got in a horrible accident and died, I really couldn't cry it out. I wanted to, but I couldn't, while everyone else around me did. I still can't to this day. I felt just as bad as they did but it was my own way of grieving. Maybe because I didn't spend too much time with her as I'd like to but I think people deal with situations differently and it doesn't always have to include crying to justify it.
i cry alot. people dont like it, but that does not matter bek many of them who found me unmanly
have already passed on b4 me.
now they will keep a stiff upper lip 24/7.
LOL.
If I cried more than anyone else around would you assume that I am feeling the most pain and sorrow? If I didn't cry at all, would you assume that I didn't care? You seem to be confusing crying with emotion.
I've run into people who say that it's hard for them to cry. (Or cry very much.)...Why do you think it's hard for some people to cry?...I'm sure women have an easier time when it comes to crying then most men probably do...But I've run into women who say they find it hard to cry too..What stops them? Why do they tend to hold-back their tears? Just curious. Thanks.
In my case it was because it was discouraged in childhood. I was, I guess, a big crybaby when I was little. My mother used to yell at me for it and encourage other adults and my siblings to make fun of me when I cried. She always said I was over-sensitive, and I guess that was true because I was ashamed of crying and learned to force myself not to cry, even when I was very sad.
It backfired. When I was six years old, my cousin and friend of the same age died of leukemia. I knew she was sick and had to pray for her every night, but I didn't realize that she could possibly DIE. I came home one day from playing outside and my mom told me that Kathy had died. (Of course, my mom was the biggest drama queen you ever saw and was babbling in tears herself over this death, running to the phone to tell others about it, etc.) I can remember it vividly--I was SO upset, SO SO sad, but dammit, I was NOT going to be a big baby and start crying. I went into my room and sat on the bed and with every ounce of my will forced myself not to cry about Kathy's death.
In the weeks and months that followed, I became aware that something was following me--I called it The Dark Thing. I was sure it was God/death waiting to come get me, too, and I would turn around quickly to see it, but it always disappeared before I could see it. I figured out that if I did certain things--said certain words in my head, or counted exactly 18 steps to walk down the hall to my bedroom, it would keep The Dark Thing from getting me. I was also afraid to touch lightswitches for fear of electrocution, but I learned to stop doing that when my mother yelled at me that I was making her too nervous with this behavior. Eventually, I learned to hide all these feelings. And I knew how not to cry.
Eventually in my forties I did get help for some of my "stuff", which they call intrusive thoughts and is related to OCD, and I traced it back to those days when I was not permitted to cry and especially when my cousin died. I can cry a little now--I did cry when my dad died in 1999, and when my house burned and my cat died in 1997, but it is not easy. After 9/11 when I lost 84 of my coworkers and experienced that terrible terrible day, I was not able to cry until a couple of weeks later at our company memorial service. I am not Jewish, but for some reason when the Rabbi sang the Kaddish in Hebrew, that set me off. Still, it's not easy for me to cry. I still feel very ashamed and won't let anyone see me with tears.
I think we all have feelings. And we express our feelings in different ways...When I'm around people who don't cry (or never cry) I know that they have feelings too...I usually do my "heavy-duty crying" in private because I don't want to make other people uncomfortable...Sometimes a few tears pop-up when I'm sharing some deeper feelings (or memories) with close friends. But I try to "pull myself together" at some point so I can have an ongoing conversation. I express my feelings through words..It's hard to talk and cry (and cry) at the same time without becoming "muddled."...When I cry in private I don't have to worry about other people. I can let my "raw emotions" come out in "primitive ways." And I process my thoughts and feelings as I go along. (Or when I'm done crying.)
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