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Old 11-12-2012, 06:04 PM
 
766 posts, read 1,229,074 times
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I've known this friend of mine for almost 7 yrs. We met at prayer grop through church. When I met her, she was 52, not working, lived by herself in a beautiful 4 bedroom house and was very religious - born again Christian religious. She had been laid off from a major corporation, got paid for 1 yr to do nothing, got unemployment, and she said she would look for a job when she got around to it.

Never married, when she was 50, she went on eharmony, met a guy, married him in 3 months, he turned out to be an abuser, she left him and they both had the marriage annulled for tax reasons.

A few years later, she was trying hard to find a job (she was VP at her last job), but would only get so far and never got a call back. Once she went on 3 job interviews, she was ready for them to make an offer, and then they never called her back. Nothing. Nada.

She has no friends except people she met at church who are her "closest friends" although she never sees them. She did however have 1 friend from the past. This lady from her past let it slip that our friend was a whistleblower at a company and had to leave that company. That would explain why she had so much money and yet when she went on job interviews, no one would call her back.

When she was 57, she went on match . com, during the 3 day free trial period. She didn't want to pay for monthly fee. She met a guy, and began dating him. He's a nice guy, not very attractive, has a good job, house, and 2 grown kids.

Within 4 months, they were engaged and 9 months latter married. She was then 58. They are still married 2 yrs later. Seem very happy except that she won't do anything without him. Even meet me for lunch. She has to be with him all the time.

His 2 kids from previous marriage don't seem to like her. I can only say this b/c of their actions. They never invite them anywhere, don't call my friend and her husband for birthdays, father's day, stuff like that. The kids seem like users and they use their Dad for money, cars, etc. This annoys my friends to no end.

They just attended his son's wedding and they were so ignored that they left early.

Oh, the minute they got married, she made him put her on his health plan at work and she began going to all kinds of doctors. 2 yrs later, she is still going to doctors for every little thing.

I've noticed that when my friend talks, she "speed talks" and she tells way too much of a story. it's like a race. I also notice she tells little white lies and leaves things left out of conversations. I like puzzles so I can put the pieces together on most of the things she says.

She speed talks, white lies, goes to Dr's every week, and she forgets stuff. She is only blood pressure meds and HRT, so I'm not sure if the medication is causing any of this. I find this all so curious. She is a nice person but not someone I could be around for that long. I'm just curious if there is a name for her type of personality? Just trying to figure her out.
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:31 PM
 
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I don't know how you could "categorize" someone who sounds like a very normal women just living her life like anyone else..I'm glad for her that she found someone to love, and love her back, that must make you very happy too.
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Old 11-13-2012, 07:00 PM
 
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Stop trying to figure her out. She sounds like a normal person trying to live her life.

With your pre-occupation with her life/business one could easily categorize you.
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Old 11-14-2012, 05:52 AM
 
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What I am most concerned with are the lies. Then I noticed the speed talking. This makes me wonder if there is something happening with her brain function? Possibly a stroke? I guess that I am seeing some weird personality traits, or at least they seem weird to me, and it makes me wonder if something physical isn't going on here. If so, is there anything I can say that will help her get to the correct doctor? I know I can't make a diagnosis but maybe I can encourage her to see a doctor but what kind?
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:27 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 10,272,035 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luckygirl15 View Post
...If so, is there anything I can say that will help her get to the correct doctor? I know I can't make a diagnosis but maybe I can encourage her to see a doctor but what kind?
Just tell her what you have observed. Say you think she should go see a doctor (medical). And leave it at that. Nothing more you can do.

Medical doctors will refer patients to other doctors, psychologists, or whatever as is needed.

People with mental health issues frequently do not follow the advice of other people. So about all you can do is suggest they see their doctor.

Also this could be anything. Could be something physical, mental health issue, drugs, or she may just be playing games with you.

Anyway you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink!
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:46 AM
 
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Well, we know that her personality traits seem "weird" to you, but maybe not to her..I figure she might not be too happy to know that you think she is so very "weird" that she should see a doctor, especially when you've said that she sees a doctor "for every little thing". Wouldn't you think that if she was exhibiting undesirable, unhealthy "thoughts", or was "off`in some way the great doctors would see that themselves?...She has a new husband, and is very "happy" according to you...why can't you just be happy for her too?
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Old 11-14-2012, 06:21 PM
 
766 posts, read 1,229,074 times
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What is hard for me to watch, is someone who grows more and more delusional. I don't want to go into more detail about her bizaare actions, but at what point does a friend (not really a best friend or anything) step up and say something to help another person? When I catch her in a lie or an exageration, do I call her out? Doing that will put her on the defensive.

I think Billy J said it best, I can recommend that she see a doctor but that's about all I can do. The sad thing is that she goes to a new Dr each week, and all they do it take tests and give her meds.

Thanks everyone for your advice. It does help.
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Old 11-14-2012, 09:26 PM
 
1,429 posts, read 2,034,962 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luckygirl15 View Post
What is hard for me to watch, is someone who grows more and more delusional. I don't want to go into more detail about her bizaare actions, but at what point does a friend (not really a best friend or anything) step up and say something to help another person? When I catch her in a lie or an exageration, do I call her out? Doing that will put her on the defensive.

I think Billy J said it best, I can recommend that she see a doctor but that's about all I can do. The sad thing is that she goes to a new Dr each week, and all they do it take tests and give her meds.

Thanks everyone for your advice. It does help.
Delusional?

If you have more details - tell them.

Because nothing you've said so far about her seems to qualify your concern.
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:43 PM
 
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She's a happy married woman...don't you think if she was that bad off (delusional) her loving husband would be helping her?
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Old 11-16-2012, 07:29 AM
 
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Well speedtalking might mean she wants to end her time spent with you as quickly as possible; or that she prefers to be in control of the conversation IDK. Some mild (or not so mild) closet drinkers can also be prone to speedtalking. Not saying she's that, just sayin'.
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