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I am starting to develop a complex over the Christmas presents that my grandpa is buying for me. Grandma used to get me stuff but since she can't get out to the store anymore, grandpa took over the shopping duties and buys what he wants. Anyway... I found out from grandma and my mom that grandpa has bought me another stupid present this year. By stupid, I mean this is the third Christmas he has bought me a child's toy meant for a child under the age of FOUR. I am a grown adult at 30+ years old, even though I am often mistaken for a teenager. There is nothing wrong with grandpa's mind and I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse.
I can't help but wonder if grandpa thinks I'm retarded (I'm not). I'm not the only family member who has wondered if grandpa thinks I'm retarded, based on the presents he keeps giving me. I just can't figure out why he would buy me a toy targeted towards a toddler. WTF? The last gift he got me was an animated, stuffed toy dog that barks. The box said it's for ages 4+, but reviews on Toys 'R Us and Amazon indicated that most people have bought it for their toddlers.
I seriously cannot help but develop a complex over this. I just don't get it. Did he actually go into the toy department looking for a toy for me? Or did he see it sitting out in the middle of the store and think it would be a good gift? I think part of the reason he got it for me is because he knows I like dogs. But why do I need a toy dog when I have real ones? To me, this is the equivalent of buying a pink dress for a heterosexual, rough and tough boy who likes stereotypical boy things. Could you imagine a little boy opening a box on Christmas morning only to find a pink dress in it? Can you imagine their reaction? I actually wanted to cry when I received that toy dog, I was so upset and offended.
I just can't stop wondering if there's something wrong with me. I obviously cannot view myself in the same way others view me. Maybe there is something wrong with me and I don't know it. I don't know what to think. I just know that no one else receives a gift this bad from grandpa. This is one of those times where "it's the thought that count" doesn't really hold true when someone gives you a gift that upsets and offends you to the point of wondering if there's something wrong with yourself. If I was a different kind of person (the kind of person I'd rather be) I would totally give grandpa a pink dress for Christmas. Why can't I be that kind of person.
If everyone else in your family agrees that this is an inappropriate gift then you need to stop worrying about how other people view you. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with you and he is one with the problem. Rather then feel sorry for yourself, you should be feeling sorry for him.
I am starting to develop a complex over the Christmas presents that my grandpa is buying for me. Grandma used to get me stuff but since she can't get out to the store anymore, grandpa took over the shopping duties and buys what he wants. Anyway... I found out from grandma and my mom that grandpa has bought me another stupid present this year. By stupid, I mean this is the third Christmas he has bought me a child's toy meant for a child under the age of FOUR. I am a grown adult at 30+ years old, even though I am often mistaken for a teenager. There is nothing wrong with grandpa's mind and I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse.
I can't help but wonder if grandpa thinks I'm retarded (I'm not). I'm not the only family member who has wondered if grandpa thinks I'm retarded, based on the presents he keeps giving me. I just can't figure out why he would buy me a toy targeted towards a toddler. WTF? The last gift he got me was an animated, stuffed toy dog that barks. The box said it's for ages 4+, but reviews on Toys 'R Us and Amazon indicated that most people have bought it for their toddlers.
I seriously cannot help but develop a complex over this. I just don't get it. Did he actually go into the toy department looking for a toy for me? Or did he see it sitting out in the middle of the store and think it would be a good gift? I think part of the reason he got it for me is because he knows I like dogs. But why do I need a toy dog when I have real ones? To me, this is the equivalent of buying a pink dress for a heterosexual, rough and tough boy who likes stereotypical boy things. Could you imagine a little boy opening a box on Christmas morning only to find a pink dress in it? Can you imagine their reaction? I actually wanted to cry when I received that toy dog, I was so upset and offended.
I just can't stop wondering if there's something wrong with me. I obviously cannot view myself in the same way others view me. Maybe there is something wrong with me and I don't know it. I don't know what to think. I just know that no one else receives a gift this bad from grandpa. This is one of those times where "it's the thought that count" doesn't really hold true when someone gives you a gift that upsets and offends you to the point of wondering if there's something wrong with yourself. If I was a different kind of person (the kind of person I'd rather be) I would totally give grandpa a pink dress for Christmas. Why can't I be that kind of person.
First, some people just bite the onion when it comes to gift-giving. And some people are hard to shop for. So some of it may be that he doesn't know what to get you, and isn't that good at picking out gifts in the first place.
Second, he may still think of you as a small child. Are you the only grandchild? Are you significantly younger than your sibs/cousins in that generation? You did say that you're often mistaken for a teenager even though you're 30+. You may come off younger than you are, and he may experience you as being even younger.
Third, he may have picked out the dog because he thought it was cute and funny in the store, and needed a reason to buy it. Some of those things are downright darling, and if I had kids/nephews & nieces of an appropriate age, I'd totally buy them such toys if only so I could see them play with it.
Have you tried talking to your grandfather about your frustration? Or talking to your grandmother? It doesn't sound like your he's doing it deliberately to make you feel bad.
The only thing that seems wrong is you making this your issue. Obviously Grand Pa needs some help shopping. No biggie. You could turn this around and just tell Grand Pa what you'd really like. Or, just do a good deed and donate those age inappropriate toys to your local children's hospital, or a shelter for women, many have kids.
You ask, Why can't you be the person you want to be. Answer...figure out who you want to be, and do it. You don't have to be a tough guy or a jerk to get your point across. You just decide what issues are important and deal w/ them the way you shoud. Adult's just communicate what they want and need. If you can't just sit Grand PA down and discuss this, maybe it isn't that important. Just be gad you still have a Grand Pa....Give him some holiday hugs from me, a very person who really wishes I still had my Grand Parents.....Pick your battles...IMO this isn't one to be stressing over. Buy yopurself what you want for Christmas, and donate or re gift anything else.
This isn't about you. Grand Pa just isn't a good shopper. What do you buy Grand Pa.....???
Last edited by JanND; 12-21-2012 at 05:17 AM..
Reason: edit text
My elderly father, toward the end of his life, used to give everyone inappropriate gifts - things we did not need or want. And we just laughed and said "There he goes again!".
But we all said "Thank You!".
Also he had everything he needed, so it was almost impossible to buy him anything he could use. So I'm sure many times we bought him things he had no use for.
But he said "Thank You!".
My brother and I are more practicable. We both have pretty much everything we need, so we have agreed not to buy each other gifts for Christmas anymore. We just exchange Christmas cards and that is fine with both of us.
For this Christmas I took a friend shopping. He asked me what I needed and I said nothing. He said nothing? I said "Well I do need a loaf of bread and mayonnaise!" So that is what he bought me. And that was one of the few times anyone bought me something I really needed! I said "Thank You!"
My elderly father, toward the end of his life, used to give everyone inappropriate gifts - things we did not need or want. And we just laughed and said "There he goes again!".
But we all said "Thank You!".
Also he had everything he needed, so it was almost impossible to buy him anything he could use. So I'm sure many times we bought him things he had no use for.
But he said "Thank You!".
My brother and I are more practicable. We both have pretty much everything we need, so we have agreed not to buy each other gifts for Christmas anymore. We just exchange Christmas cards and that is fine with both of us.
For this Christmas I took a friend shopping. He asked me what I needed and I said nothing. He said nothing? I said "Well I do need a loaf of bread and mayonnaise!" So that is what he bought me. And that was one of the few times anyone bought me something I really needed! I said "Thank You!"
Loved this post. What a great outlook. Merry Christmas! jannd
I was laughing so hard my eyes teared up when I read this post. A grown man getting a gift meant for a toddler? lol... is this for real? OP, don't sweat this. Don't let this give you a complex. Tell your gramps thanks and don't give it another thought.
I would not go as far as *retarded*, but *something* ... I have to sleep on that !
Get over it. How old is your Grandpa ? Let him do what ever he likes. Be glad you still have one !
Come to think of it, I do not have to sleep on that, I go for *something* !
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Why can't I be that kind of person. 
