Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would not presume to tell anyone whether they should or should not forgive someone else. There could be negative consequences to either decision and they, not I, are the one who must live with those consequences.
As for myself, I choose in my life never to hold on to anger to the point where it turns into bitterness and festers. A bitter human being is not a pleasant person to be around. I don't think it is possible to be bitter and happy either.
I can see circumstances where not forgiving doesn't mean remaining angry though. Perhaps not forgiving means simply not wanting the same relationship as before because their action has made you realize that the person isn't who you thought they were or that you can no longer trust them.
What does Jesus say about repeat offenders? I went to Catholic school and never saw that addressed. Nor have I seen it, and remember it, in the Bible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightbird47
I was episcopal, but don't remember that being brought up either.
Whaaaaat? Whacks upside the head to both of you for not paying attention in church! In a loving, Christian manner, of course.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
I can forgive everyone very easily, but forgiveness doesn't mean I have to extend trust to repeat offenders.
^^^ and this.
It also doesn't mean that you have to keep taking it. I still have difficulty completely forgiving my ex-husband for the things he did. I hope I can, someday. But that doesn't mean I had to keep putting up with the mofo doing the same things over and over again. Out the door he went.
Exactly. It's not something you can just decide you are going to do, and poof, you suddenly lose the hurt and anger.
More so than that, it's not like a person often has a verbal relationship with the person of the variety where one can say "I forgive you." The other person will never know they've been forgiven.
I would just prefer to give such people a wide berth and "know" that God will forgive them if they are cognizant of what they're made of ... and will atone.
More so than that, it's not like a person often has a verbal relationship with the person of the variety where one can say "I forgive you." The other person will never know they've been forgiven.
I would just prefer to give such people a wide berth and "know" that God will forgive them if they are cognizant of what they're made of ... and will atone.
I would like to be that way, but I still fantasize about my ex getting run over with a steamroller.
We've been divorced for ten years now, but because of his undying love for beer and his bar buddies, he lost a good job (again) because he did and said stupid things while drunk, and once more, it cost me money. We are supposed to be splitting the cost of our daughter's college education, but I have had to pay two of "his" semesters now because he cannot get loans without a job.
Meanwhile, he just sits home all day and collects his unemployment while my replacement takes care of him.
I'll keep working on that forgiveness thing, though.
I do believe that you should forgive people who have wronged you. If you don't, you continue to carry that negativity/hate inside which can actually affect your physical and mental health. Now there are people out there that are so selfish and will continue to do what they want without caring about how it affects others. These people still need to be forgiven and then you need to decide how important they are. If they are close family or friend then you need to communicate your feelings and also find out if they understand and accept how you feel and visa versa, plus if that conversation will actually change the future for the better between you. If not then you may need to distance yourself but keep the door open in the future for the relationship to build again. If it does not though at least you are not carrying around that negativity within you and you will find it will be easier to move on with life.
I do not believe that you have to forgive - unless you want to. I also believe that much depends on who the offender, is; the offense; and the history of offenses. I have people who have gotten a long leash and eventually used it up and others who have had a chance or two and I am done.
All said, I am not a strong advocate of forgiving the other person - I would rather see it as forgiving myself for trusting; being the better person; being open or whatever the situation that permitted the transgression.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
