Craving touch/physical affection is an important part of being human... (issues, animals)
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It is a critical part of neurotypical development. Studies as far back as Harry Harlow's experiments on social and physical isolation using Rhesus macaques and surrogate monkey "mothers" made of wire, versus ones made of cuddly "fur," which are textbook examples in every basic general psych text to this day, illustrate the importance of touch on normal neurotypical emotional development and attachment, from early on in the mother-infant bonding period.
There are those for whom physical touch and a variety of sensory input is truly aversive. This is not, however, neuroptypical.
Studies have shown that people need and crave being touched more than they desire sex, money or social status. Basic physical (non-sexual) affection such as holding hands, getting a massage, being caressed and getting hugged are very important to our species and sometimes, people who go without being touched in an affectionate way for long periods of time often become depressed, they lose their interest in daily life activities and tend to isolate themselves from people. I've seen some people who have experienced this firsthand, and, it's quite sad. Sometimes, even when people find themselves without a significant other, they at least still have family and friends who do show them physical affection. But, there are so many people who really have no one that touches them on a regular or even on an occasional basis; these people are totally devoid of affectionate physical contact from anyone.
Some may not think it's as important as other aspects of life, a friendship or a relationship while others might think it's one of the most important things to have in their life. I personally find touch to be an integral part of my daily life; I know I couldn't go too long without being touched in an affectionate way! I feel that it would affect my moods and certain aspects of my personality and the way I view the world (and probably myself).
How important do you think touch is in your life and with people in general?
One thing you're forgetting for single people or people who just live alone is pets. Cats, dogs, and other animals can fill the void of physical affection as well. Perhaps not fill it as completely as another person, but they do a pretty good job. That was what I first hated about living alone, pets fill the void, for me anyway.
How important do you think touch is in your life and with people in general?
It's vital to my happiness. I'm a syrupy sap. Very demonstrative with those I love and trust. If I'm not getting a steady supply of the same, the blues will kick in.
I'm very affectionate with my S/O. However, some people don't like to be touched, period. I think it's important. Humans aren't robots.
I think it's because of trauma/ abuse. I didn't like being touched because my parents weren't as supportive and kinda physically abusive, but i have gotten a lot better at liking the sensation of being touched
My husband was very demonstrative during our courtship and early marriage. He now acts very uncomfortable with physical touch of any kind. Maybe hand holding once in a great while, hug once every few weeks a peck on the cheek about that often too. I have always been a person who felt loving touch to be an important part of my needs. I can't seem to get through to my husband and it has now been about 4-5 years since we have had sex. I love him, but I have needs too. If he had been this way all along, I would have known what I was getting in to. But I feel as though he misrepresented his willingness to be physical during our courtship. He also refuses to discuss it, so I really am at a loss. I am afraid at some point I may reach out for some physical contact elsewhere. Any ideas???
My husband was very demonstrative during our courtship and early marriage. He now acts very uncomfortable with physical touch of any kind. Maybe hand holding once in a great while, hug once every few weeks a peck on the cheek about that often too. I have always been a person who felt loving touch to be an important part of my needs. I can't seem to get through to my husband and it has now been about 4-5 years since we have had sex. I love him, but I have needs too. If he had been this way all along, I would have known what I was getting in to. But I feel as though he misrepresented his willingness to be physical during our courtship. He also refuses to discuss it, so I really am at a loss. I am afraid at some point I may reach out for some physical contact elsewhere. Any ideas???
As a guy I've been in a situation very similar to that. I was very similar to the way you describe your husband, and let me tell you, it's because I was no longer in love with my then girlfriend. I cringed at PDA, I did not like long kisses, but I could tolerate short ones, I did not like hand holding. Physical contact became something I dreaded, we had sex about two times in 6 months, it was then I knew that things were never going to get better, so I decided to end it. Guess it's easier when you're just dating instead of being married.
I'm the type of person who really doesn't want to be touched; I freak out when some stranger taps me to get my attention (sort of like Temple Grandin). The only exception would be to family members I've opened up to, or my boyfriend.
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