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View Poll Results: Which of these would you say you generally fear more?
Not having control/loss of control 19 86.36%
Being excluded 3 13.64%
Voters: 22. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-30-2013, 10:53 PM
Location: Howard County, MD
2,222 posts, read 3,597,764 times
Reputation: 3417


I've come to think that much, if not most, of people's behavior is governed by their latent, underlying fears, so I'm very interested in your answers.
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Old 01-30-2013, 11:20 PM
6,326 posts, read 6,582,011 times
Reputation: 7457
Do you have control? Are you included in the social groups of your choice just because you want to be? Get real. You have limited amount of control and you are excluded by the overwhelming majority of people. You can fear something uncertain that may happen. Having no control and being excluded is something you should live with every day.
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Old 01-31-2013, 12:02 AM
Location: Free From The Oppressive State
30,239 posts, read 23,704,283 times
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I am so confused by ^^^^ that response.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:56 AM
4,761 posts, read 14,273,548 times
Reputation: 7958
Off the top of my head, I can't think of where I would "fear" either?

Depends on the specific situation...

Recently I trained a young person to drive and I wanted "total control" of being able to stop when I yelled STOP! So that was one of the first things we practiced in an empty parking lot. The kid would drive along, then I would yell STOP! At first he took a while to respond, but with practice he could stop almost instantly.

Later driving in traffic, that kept one person from being run over by him and avoided a couple of accidents. Also at later points in his life, someone else might be riding with him and see something he does not - then yell stop. So good to train him to react to that.

But when I an the passenger with any other experienced driver, I have no need to be in control. Also that kid is now a good driver, so I don't pay very much attention to what he is doing anymore (when riding with him).

I also work with dangerous power equipment (like chainsaws) and sometimes have young and dumb helpers. When they first start working with this equipment, I insist they follow all safety rules and be able to stop what they are about to do if I wave at them or yell stop. I want TOTAL control of that situation. But with experienced workers, I don't even watch what they are doing.

Or driving my car I want to be in control. If the steering wheel came off (like in cartoons), I would freak! And I don't particularly like it if I am driving along, hit a patch of ice, then the car starts sliding off the road!

So far as being excluded from a social group, I could care less. I'm not a "follower / sheep" and can think on my own.
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