U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 02-17-2013, 07:05 PM
 
32 posts, read 142,980 times
Reputation: 146

Advertisements

Hi all,

I just lost my childhood best girlfriend of 10 years who I considered like a sister. She kind of left all of a sudden and has blocked all contact and lives 6 hours away. I don't want to go into any more detail on how she is no longer in my life, but I am now faced with the harsh reality that I am a very lonely person. I am 20 years old and have been with my bf for 5 years. He is truly my best friend and we love each other dearly. He brings out the happiness in me, we share so many of the same hobbies, inside jokes, humor, etc., but I am often wondering if there is something wrong with me because I dont have any friends. I miss having my friend to call and talk about anything. I can do that with my boyfriend but of course he is a bit different because sometimes guys dont like to talk about the same things girls do! And I understand that completely. I mean, I have school acquaintances but they are just that. They are older than me and are already married, have kids, etc., so its hard to connect with them on a close-friend level.

I feel like my days consist of being by myself, going to class, studying, working, and spending time with my sweetie which is when I shine and am the happiest...But when I'm not with him, I feel alone now. This time of my life is very busy but lonely it seems, which is weird because everyone else my age has a ton of friends and a lot of fun.

I have 4 older sisters who have always been close knit, but I only see them maybe every couple weeks. I dont even talk to them everyday, sometimes we'll text every other day or so. I live with my mom because I'm in nursing school right now, so that eases a lot of stress off of me since the nursing program demands so much out of me.

So now I'm left wondering...Is it normal to not have many friends at one point in my life? Do I just need to be patient and let things happen naturally? I feel that I am mourning the loss of my friend so much that I have no hope to find others. But I crave close relationships. Maybe I just need to transition in life and become more independent? I love my bf and he truly is my best friend, and I really am happy, but I am just wondering if its not healthy to be in the situation that I am in. Thank you all for reading.

 
Old 02-17-2013, 07:26 PM
 
192 posts, read 297,339 times
Reputation: 137
It doesnt matter what people think is 'normal' or not. It all depends on how you feel about it. My husband is my best friend and I have cut a lot of friends out of my life because they are not good friends and not worth my time. I would rather have just my husband and family than a bunch of friends I dont need or want because I feel like I have to. If you are feeling lonely maybe try to make some friends in class. But if the lonliness stems from wanting to be 'normal' than I would say just do what you feel comfortable with. live life for you and nobody else. Its just as unhealthy or healthy as you feel it is. If not having friends is going to make you be depressed get out there and do everything you can to find some. I wish you the best.
 
Old 02-17-2013, 07:52 PM
 
408 posts, read 874,908 times
Reputation: 363
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynnie1993 View Post
Hi all,

I just lost my childhood best girlfriend of 10 years who I considered like a sister. She kind of left all of a sudden and has blocked all contact and lives 6 hours away. I don't want to go into any more detail on how she is no longer in my life, but I am now faced with the harsh reality that I am a very lonely person. I am 20 years old and have been with my bf for 5 years. He is truly my best friend and we love each other dearly. He brings out the happiness in me, we share so many of the same hobbies, inside jokes, humor, etc., but I am often wondering if there is something wrong with me because I dont have any friends. I miss having my friend to call and talk about anything. I can do that with my boyfriend but of course he is a bit different because sometimes guys dont like to talk about the same things girls do! And I understand that completely. I mean, I have school acquaintances but they are just that. They are older than me and are already married, have kids, etc., so its hard to connect with them on a close-friend level.

I feel like my days consist of being by myself, going to class, studying, working, and spending time with my sweetie which is when I shine and am the happiest...But when I'm not with him, I feel alone now. This time of my life is very busy but lonely it seems, which is weird because everyone else my age has a ton of friends and a lot of fun.

I have 4 older sisters who have always been close knit, but I only see them maybe every couple weeks. I dont even talk to them everyday, sometimes we'll text every other day or so. I live with my mom because I'm in nursing school right now, so that eases a lot of stress off of me since the nursing program demands so much out of me.

So now I'm left wondering...Is it normal to not have many friends at one point in my life? Do I just need to be patient and let things happen naturally? I feel that I am mourning the loss of my friend so much that I have no hope to find others. But I crave close relationships. Maybe I just need to transition in life and become more independent? I love my bf and he truly is my best friend, and I really am happy, but I am just wondering if its not healthy to be in the situation that I am in. Thank you all for reading.
I lost my best friend a couple of years ago, but I moved on very quickly because I had many other friends. I don't think it's about being the norm or not. You or your boyfriend will need some "alone time" from time to time. I need break from my gf from time to time. I get bored of my closest friends. Knowing a lot of people makes life interesting. Ask yourself why don't you have many friends? Are you too selective? No one is prefect, so if you don't like something in a friend, you will like other things. Have you thought about having kids? Try to have as many kids as possible, it'll make life very "interesting". There's no blood relationship between you or your boyfriend, even if you guys get married, he can leave at anytime for any reason. It's called conditional love. What are you gonna then? Being lonely makes life very depressing. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. You can have many friends, but be alone sometimes. I would say start using social networks, and start going out to restaurants or movies more often with new people. I've gone through stages in my life, whenever I had very few friends, I used to get very bored. I prefer to have as many friends as possible, even if they're not close friends.
 
Old 02-17-2013, 07:52 PM
 
916 posts, read 1,763,491 times
Reputation: 2197
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynnie1993 View Post
Hi all,

I just lost my childhood best girlfriend of 10 years who I considered like a sister. She kind of left all of a sudden and has blocked all contact and lives 6 hours away. I don't want to go into any more detail on how she is no longer in my life, but I am now faced with the harsh reality that I am a very lonely person. I am 20 years old and have been with my bf for 5 years. He is truly my best friend and we love each other dearly. He brings out the happiness in me, we share so many of the same hobbies, inside jokes, humor, etc., but I am often wondering if there is something wrong with me because I dont have any friends. I miss having my friend to call and talk about anything. I can do that with my boyfriend but of course he is a bit different because sometimes guys dont like to talk about the same things girls do! And I understand that completely. I mean, I have school acquaintances but they are just that. They are older than me and are already married, have kids, etc., so its hard to connect with them on a close-friend level.

I feel like my days consist of being by myself, going to class, studying, working, and spending time with my sweetie which is when I shine and am the happiest...But when I'm not with him, I feel alone now. This time of my life is very busy but lonely it seems, which is weird because everyone else my age has a ton of friends and a lot of fun.

I have 4 older sisters who have always been close knit, but I only see them maybe every couple weeks. I dont even talk to them everyday, sometimes we'll text every other day or so. I live with my mom because I'm in nursing school right now, so that eases a lot of stress off of me since the nursing program demands so much out of me.

So now I'm left wondering...Is it normal to not have many friends at one point in my life? Do I just need to be patient and let things happen naturally? I feel that I am mourning the loss of my friend so much that I have no hope to find others. But I crave close relationships. Maybe I just need to transition in life and become more independent? I love my bf and he truly is my best friend, and I really am happy, but I am just wondering if its not healthy to be in the situation that I am in. Thank you all for reading.
Regardless of whether your situation is healthy, if you want a larger circle of friends, then go make friends. Debating whether your situation is healthy is like refusing to pull out an arrow from your leg until you understand the meaning behind your being shot. Just pull out the arrow.

You wrote that you're 20. You're at an age when it's easier to make friends with strangers. Start with classmates, and build a circle.
 
Old 02-17-2013, 07:54 PM
 
408 posts, read 874,908 times
Reputation: 363
[quote=crunchymama192;28293103]My husband is my best friend /quote]

What if your husband leaves for any reason? There's no blood, so he can leave you at anytime and never look back. That's the benefit of having many good friends. If some go, you still have plenty.
 
Old 02-17-2013, 09:32 PM
 
16,797 posts, read 14,527,370 times
Reputation: 37896
Duplicate thread, which is against the TOS

My boyfriend is my only friend..Is this unhealthy?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top