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Old 03-08-2013, 07:12 PM
 
894 posts, read 2,812,788 times
Reputation: 655

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I have a neighbor who is very active in the community and is always entertaining and the outgoing type. Recently we had a conversation about a neighbor that lives directly next to her and it caused me to wonder why people behave the way she did.

The active neighbor informed me that her direct neighbor is in his late 60's, never married and nice, but a bit odd. I had asked her about this guy as he seems to be a complete whacko, imo. He has walked over to our house when we've gotten some large deliveries and will stand in front of our home and just watch--while in his bathrobe and slippers I'm serious. She says she's never seen this, but I couldn't help but wonder if she was lying. She went on to add that she's told her girls that they're never to be alone with this man or ever go into his home. She wouldn't elaborate and I let it go at that.

Her next addition to our conversation was that she was getting a basketball stand and asked this man if she could put the hoop in his back yard where he has a long driveway. I was blown away that she missed the connection to telling her girls to never be alone with this guy and then plopping her girls in his backyard where she says she can see her girls out her window.

Granted this gal and I seem to have very different personality styles and we are just polite to each other but I can't fathom how a mother wouldn't see this basket ball hoop in this guys backyard as a very dangerous situation for her girls. I can't imagine she is just a "everyone is a good person type" or she wouldn't have shared with me the warning she gave her girls about this creepy guy. Any thoughts on her disconnect or my failure to see something in the bigger picture?
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Old 03-09-2013, 10:33 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 10,186,194 times
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On WHAT do you have to base what this man might do to those girls? TV?

I would suggest you stick to the facts about people. What has he actually done? The only facts I see are that he is in his 60's, never married, and stands and stares at people. Any more facts?

Note the niece of my neighbor stands in the window and stares at me and my friends when we are in the backyard. I talk to my neighbor and know the FACTS. She is developmentally disabled, not very good looking, and has only dated one man in her entire life. She has nothing better to do, so just watches other people. Quite harmless.

One of my friends who is quite good looking was bothered by her staring. I pointed out to him, that due to his good looks, he can pick and choose who he dates and he has dated plenty of women. She has no one and few if any prospects. I said he should count his blessings and do a little "giving" by allowing her to start at him if she so chooses. (Not make funny faces back, but maybe smile at her instead.)

Anyway go by the facts and get to know someone first before making accusations. Why don't you take some cookies to him and introduce yourself? Get to know him? You don't have to go inside. Maybe say "Hi!" when he is staring at you getting packages?
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Old 03-09-2013, 03:36 PM
 
894 posts, read 2,812,788 times
Reputation: 655
Default Correction


My neighbor was the one that told me she has her girls stay away from him, not me....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
On WHAT do you have to base what this man might do to those girls? TV?

I would suggest you stick to the facts about people. What has he actually done? The only facts I see are that he is in his 60's, never married, and stands and stares at people. Any more facts?

Note the niece of my neighbor stands in the window and stares at me and my friends when we are in the backyard. I talk to my neighbor and know the FACTS. She is developmentally disabled, not very good looking, and has only dated one man in her entire life. She has nothing better to do, so just watches other people. Quite harmless.

One of my friends who is quite good looking was bothered by her staring. I pointed out to him, that due to his good looks, he can pick and choose who he dates and he has dated plenty of women. She has no one and few if any prospects. I said he should count his blessings and do a little "giving" by allowing her to start at him if she so chooses. (Not make funny faces back, but maybe smile at her instead.)

Anyway go by the facts and get to know someone first before making accusations. Why don't you take some cookies to him and introduce yourself? Get to know him? You don't have to go inside. Maybe say "Hi!" when he is staring at you getting packages?
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Old 03-12-2013, 03:45 AM
 
Location: The back alleys of Hong Kong and sometimes Brussels, Belgium
242 posts, read 214,765 times
Reputation: 194
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
Anyway go by the facts and get to know someone first before making accusations. Why don't you take some cookies to him and introduce yourself? Get to know him? You don't have to go inside. Maybe say "Hi!" when he is staring at you getting packages?
This^

I agree with you. I never judge people until they actually do something that affects people in a negative way. Someone who is lonely or someone you just don't know because they haven't introduced themselves to you gives you no reason to judge them. Just because a person stares doesn't mean they are a whacko out to kill or rape someone. If I was in the OP's situation I would wave and acknowledge the person who was staring, and maybe even strike up a conversation just to see if my own assesment/pre-judgement of this guy was correct, so that I would know for a fact if he was some crazy person. Until then I would leave him be, and stop pre-judging him or any other person who I thought was weird or different than me. This has become a big problem in our society. People are afraid of people. They are afraid to make small talk or acknowledge someone with a friendly jesture anymore. It sucks sometimes living in communities and not knowing the people we live around simply because we are too lazy, judgemental, or scared to get to know them or simply acknowledge thier presence as a human being.
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Old 03-12-2013, 07:26 PM
 
12,365 posts, read 14,503,541 times
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Seems the neighbor is only judgemental when there's nothing in it for her...If she had any REAL concerns she'd get to know this man before she allows her young daughters to play in his yard.
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Old 03-13-2013, 04:49 AM
 
Location: New England
1,092 posts, read 1,957,741 times
Reputation: 1840
^^^^ No, this.

One day your neighbor thinks this guy is strange and to stay away, then wants to put a basketball hoop in his driveway.

Nowadays you can't be too careful. Sure, the guy could be harmless, but he could be a danger to her kids.
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