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Old 11-24-2023, 08:49 AM
Status: ""Let my people think"" (set 19 days ago)
 
1,383 posts, read 741,506 times
Reputation: 4052

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The Muppet Christmas Carol is a good watch : D I hope you feel better { } The parenthesis are a virtual hug.
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Old 11-24-2023, 12:13 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,236 posts, read 47,157,925 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rokuremote View Post
Zombie thread
Yep, but people will continue to address the OP directly, even though she hasn't been here since January 2014.
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Old 11-24-2023, 01:16 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
11,904 posts, read 8,224,453 times
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It's okay. There's good advice here and I'm sure there are many reading this who struggle with the same issue. Who wouldn't in these stressing times?

I know I have. The problem was that I was thinking in groups instead of individuals. I was lumping all sorts of people into anonymous groups of people worth my distain - the rude ones, the impatient ones, the ignorant ones, the bad drivers, like that.

After a while that's all I saw - the enemies of good society. How righteous could I be? And how irritable? Actually
I became a not-so-very-nice person inside, myself. Not exactly what I wanted. And how convenient to blame it all on other people who were "making" me that way.

So it was time to get honest with myself, accept responsibility for the attitude and take control of my ugly thoughts.
I did that by starting to watch daily for the gifts. They are there every day. I was so busy seeing the bad I had lost the ability to see the good. The kid who ran half the length of the mall to help me with crutches through the heavy door, the person behind me who picked up my dropped glove and tapped me on the back, the smile or wink from a stranger. You have to be present to notice these things. People all around us are doing good things for each other. Make eye contact, be engaged and you're more likely to have them happen to you.

I haven't even listed all the gifts of nature that occur every day that we forget to notice. The glint of sunlight through the autumn leaves, the puppy in the yard, new to life and playing with a ball, the flocks of birds flying south, all announce that life is here and now and will continue. We can chose to do so also, with as much good spirit as we are willing to create.
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Old 11-27-2023, 11:50 PM
bu2
 
23,853 posts, read 14,623,704 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
I am certain she figured this out... ten years ago.
Maybe she figured out how little she knew at age 21.

People learn they don't know as much as they think they did when they were young. Most of all, knowledge about other people grows. You understand the greys and murkiness. And you certainly learn that you will always be miserable if you make it your point to tell everyone else why THEY are wrong.
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Old 11-29-2023, 07:35 PM
 
1,703 posts, read 1,077,585 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djohanna View Post
How can I change my life to be a happier person, but without becoming a very ignorant person, blind to what's wrong? They say ignorance is bliss. It's true I guess. But I can't be ignorant anymore, I know too much.
1) Pick your battles. I finally accepted this after I was almost murdered trying to help a friend leave an abusive relationship. Some people are such "heroes" they have to experience something horrific to correct their path in life....you cannot save every soul.

Help where you can, and forgive yourself when you cannot.

2) Meditate each day. This helps you focus on what you want to accomplish, per day.

3) Don't fear emotional pain. Feeling is part of living. The saying goes "You have to feel it, to heal it."

4) Carpe diem "seize the day." When you find chances to better yourself, take them.



No one can be happy all the time. Life is truly an experience of peaks and valleys. There are great times, and low times.
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Old 11-30-2023, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Tucson/Nogales
23,064 posts, read 28,774,691 times
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Old quote, forgot the author: The world is a beautiful place but it has a disease called the human race.
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Old 11-30-2023, 02:47 PM
 
Location: 'greater' Buffalo, NY
5,342 posts, read 3,820,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Yep, but people will continue to address the OP directly, even though she hasn't been here since January 2014.
Symptomatic of the problem(s) the OP rightly identified with her fellow humans. 'Lacking discernment' might be a good way of encapsulating it.
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Old 11-30-2023, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
23,404 posts, read 13,652,501 times
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Find a fun way to think about things.


This morning, I was in one cat's private dining room (sink area of bathroom), trying to contortionist myself with another cat for her private dining room (toilet closet). I managed to do it but was thinking, at the moment, of why do I put myself through that. Returning to the island for more cat meals, I realized, "The Perils of Snow White"!, feeding breakfast to the 6 Dwarfs each day.......and I just had to laugh!


Laughter is the best medicine.
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Old 12-02-2023, 08:12 AM
 
15,795 posts, read 6,858,902 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djohanna View Post
Even with religion, I think many people can still concede that there's inherent value in strict monogamy. It also decreases likelihood of catching STD's. If you're single and not religious I can understand wanting only casual sex. But the thing with casual sex is there's such little meaning and value in it. I think it's definitely worthy to instead build up a lasting relationship with just one special person.
I agree.
One does not need religion to value monogamy. If sex is the criteria for a good relationship, what happens when you tire of the person and sex with them? A person is more than his/her sexual prowess.
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Old 12-05-2023, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Germany
716 posts, read 419,558 times
Reputation: 1884
Quote:
Originally Posted by djohanna View Post
Lately I've becoming more cynical, and judgmental of the things people do. I've become increasingly bitter with people and am finding that I can't relate to them as much. For most of my life until this point (I'm in college), I've been the girl who was always smiling and quiet and who could get along with anyone, because I didn't think critically about what they do. If they stole cars, it didn't affect how much I liked them at all as long as it wasn't from me. But now I see how bad people are, and I feel like an outsider in the world. I was always liked by every single person. But now it's so different, because I voice my opinion and people don't like it and thus people don't like me.

People slaughter animals, rape the Earth for financial gain, believe in cockamamey mythology religions, and are increasingly devoid of sexual standards. People deny that the recent climate change has been caused by humans even though it is so obvious. It's not just that people are corrupt, but that so many are so dumb.

I find it hard to bite my tongue and 'respect' people, which means having no objections to how they act. Now that I have been speaking out on actions I think are bad, I feel a huge divide between me and humanity. People have been very mean back in response to my criticisms. Also, arguing with others has proven very pointless. People are usually stubborn and they won't change even when what they do is so obviously wrong.

Feeling this way has led me to feel like I don't belong in this world, and though I'd never kill myself, for the first time in my life I don't think I'd care very much if I was about to die. But I'm only 21, so I shouldn't think this way.

How can I change my life to be a happier person, but without becoming a very ignorant person, blind to what's wrong? They say ignorance is bliss. It's true I guess. But I can't be ignorant anymore, I know too much.
I don't personally know you so don't take it as a judgement of your character - I feel like you speak with a lot of passion and that can have an effect on your relationship with others and yourself. You said you have become more cynical and judgemental of the people things do and I think maybe to some extent to people (including yourself) as well.

Telling your opinion openly is also a kind of respect, as long as you do it respectfully. Not everyone is gonna like you for that but people will.

I can't really tell you how to be happy, since happiness is a subjective thing - having an open mind and self-reflection are a tool against ignorance. Sometimes we know too much and sometimes we don't know enough.

Noone is happy all the time, but hey, were happy sometimes. Maybe we can think a bit more about the happy times or the positive sides of the world. Good luck on your journey and remember you are still young. We make mistakes and we learn and things sometimes things don't work out and sometimes they do. Take care

Last edited by Gohangr; 12-05-2023 at 08:46 AM.. Reason: Aaaaaand I just saw zombie thread xD
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