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Old 03-22-2013, 03:22 AM
 
487 posts, read 892,372 times
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Lately I've becoming more cynical, and judgmental of the things people do. I've become increasingly bitter with people and am finding that I can't relate to them as much. For most of my life until this point (I'm in college), I've been the girl who was always smiling and quiet and who could get along with anyone, because I didn't think critically about what they do. If they stole cars, it didn't affect how much I liked them at all as long as it wasn't from me. But now I see how bad people are, and I feel like an outsider in the world. I was always liked by every single person. But now it's so different, because I voice my opinion and people don't like it and thus people don't like me.

People slaughter animals, rape the Earth for financial gain, believe in cockamamey mythology religions, and are increasingly devoid of sexual standards. People deny that the recent climate change has been caused by humans even though it is so obvious. It's not just that people are corrupt, but that so many are so dumb.

I find it hard to bite my tongue and 'respect' people, which means having no objections to how they act. Now that I have been speaking out on actions I think are bad, I feel a huge divide between me and humanity. People have been very mean back in response to my criticisms. Also, arguing with others has proven very pointless. People are usually stubborn and they won't change even when what they do is so obviously wrong.

Feeling this way has led me to feel like I don't belong in this world, and though I'd never kill myself, for the first time in my life I don't think I'd care very much if I was about to die. But I'm only 21, so I shouldn't think this way.

How can I change my life to be a happier person, but without becoming a very ignorant person, blind to what's wrong? They say ignorance is bliss. It's true I guess. But I can't be ignorant anymore, I know too much.
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Old 03-22-2013, 03:24 AM
 
Location: Mille Fin
409 posts, read 603,663 times
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Where do you live? The type of people you meet may vary wildly from one part of the world to the next...
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Old 03-22-2013, 06:55 AM
 
936 posts, read 2,049,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djohanna View Post
Lately I've becoming more cynical, and judgmental of the things people do. I've become increasingly bitter with people and am finding that I can't relate to them as much. For most of my life until this point (I'm in college), I've been the girl who was always smiling and quiet and who could get along with anyone, because I didn't think critically about what they do. If they stole cars, it didn't affect how much I liked them at all as long as it wasn't from me. But now I see how bad people are, and I feel like an outsider in the world. I was always liked by every single person. But now it's so different, because I voice my opinion and people don't like it and thus people don't like me.

People slaughter animals, rape the Earth for financial gain, believe in cockamamey mythology religions, and are increasingly devoid of sexual standards. People deny that the recent climate change has been caused by humans even though it is so obvious. It's not just that people are corrupt, but that so many are so dumb.

I find it hard to bite my tongue and 'respect' people, which means having no objections to how they act. Now that I have been speaking out on actions I think are bad, I feel a huge divide between me and humanity. People have been very mean back in response to my criticisms. Also, arguing with others has proven very pointless. People are usually stubborn and they won't change even when what they do is so obviously wrong.

Feeling this way has led me to feel like I don't belong in this world, and though I'd never kill myself, for the first time in my life I don't think I'd care very much if I was about to die. But I'm only 21, so I shouldn't think this way.

How can I change my life to be a happier person, but without becoming a very ignorant person, blind to what's wrong? They say ignorance is bliss. It's true I guess. But I can't be ignorant anymore, I know too much.
The problem, from what you wrote, isn't ignorance. It's your demanding that the world change to suit you. It's what Albert Ellis called "musturbation", the habit of believing that things simply MUST be a certain way, or else everything is intolerably horrible.

People are stubborn when someone tells them that they're wrong because they don't generally see themselves as wrong. And when you come along telling them that they are, they get defensive--and that's a natural reaction. Even if you're right about their being wrong, you don't get to decide for them what they should do, how they should act, what they should be, etc.

You were liked before because you didn't demand that they be any different from what they were. Now you're putting demands on them, and they don't like it. Honestly, now--how would you feel if someone came along and told you "You're a bad person because you do [fill in blank]", and you saw nothing wrong with doing [fill in blank]? Wouldn't your first reaction be, "Who do you think you are? Get bent, and don't tell me what to do"? That's whay they have been mean to you in response to your criticisms, as you pointed out.

If you want to be happier, the first step is to let go of your demands on the world. People are what they are; meet them where they are, and you'll be happier. And they'll respond to you better.
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Old 03-22-2013, 12:14 PM
 
4,761 posts, read 14,183,238 times
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Yes knowledge of the true facts can be a curse. Especially when dealing with people who believe everything they see in movies - that is their reality, but is in fact fiction / make-believe.

Many years ago I moved to a small town. I saw there was a ton of misinformation floating around from person to person. I was told to not correct them - don't tell them the facts. Because by doing so, the people would no longer have anything to talk about! (And not much else to do in a small town.)

So I leave them be most of the time. If it is something important where they would be better off knowing the facts, then I speak up.

I think older age has taught me to be more patient with these people. I certainly was not that way when I was younger!

Anyway I would advise you to just be yourself. Go ahead and learn how people react to hearing the facts. I think gradually you will learn to "bite your tongue" in certain situations. This is not easy, but for the best sometimes.
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Old 03-22-2013, 01:31 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,053,607 times
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It would be easy to be depressed about the state of the world. But you have to accept the only person you can control is YOU. By being a good person yourself and upholding the morals and standards you set for yourself you are making the world a better place. Volunteer if you are able, do good wherever you can, be kind to people. You may not be able to change the whole world alone, but you can do a lot of things that matter and make a difference for the positive in the lives of others. I don't think it's your job or your place to go around telling everyone else what they're doing wrong - not that you can't take a stand sometimes, but really I think being a good person yourself is the way to go. Lead by actions and examples.
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Old 03-22-2013, 02:10 PM
 
487 posts, read 892,372 times
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Great ways of thinking about it. Thanks
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Old 03-22-2013, 05:01 PM
 
13,513 posts, read 19,153,438 times
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djohanna... that "divide" you talk of (between you and humanity) is not a divide..it's enlightenment, knowledge, and wisdom. Be happy knowing that at such a young age you can see the real truth about other people in life. I'd embrace it, especially when I know that there are many other people like you who feel the same and prefer to keep things real, fair, and just...It's good that you're not "blind to what's wrong", it just means that you've become a more compassionate, caring individual...I don't understand why you would think that as something not to be?
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Old 03-23-2013, 12:35 AM
 
4,299 posts, read 2,783,257 times
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This isn't really a bad thing. It's good that you see that the world is pretty crappy. You sound a lot like me too. I feel like an outsider but I usually bask in it. As for getting upset that they don't like you because you are trying to show what's wrong with what you do, don't take it too seriously. I often try to put rude people in their place. I don't believe in killing with kindness. Yes it's true you can't change people but at least you can say you tried and your cynicism only makes you cautious. Hang onto that cynical nature and put it on the backburner so you can remember to keep an open mind. You put your wall up too high you can't grow. It's kinda like a plant who never lets itself see the sun but at the same time you let in too much sun you're still in trouble
As another person said there is volunteering but also you can find a group that you think you might be able to identify with (maybe online or in your city). Not everyone is scum. The bad apples are just overshadowing the decent ones so it requires heavy looking on your part.
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Old 03-23-2013, 01:12 AM
 
487 posts, read 892,372 times
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That is beautiful, quite poetic Nickchick. =)
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Old 03-23-2013, 04:08 AM
 
43 posts, read 98,848 times
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I agree with all the posts above.

People will always have intentions, bad AND good. Also, all people actually do have a good side as well as a bad side. One should always take the good out of every person, but not being blind for their bad side.
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