I can't seem to stop thinking of my own death. (father, marriage)

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow

Have to disagree with this. In a way, I'm like the OP. I started thinking about my death when I was around 8 years old, (between church being confusing and the threat of nuclear war, I was pretty scared and would lie awake at night at that age thinking about it), and haven't stopped since.

In May of 2011, I witnessed an horrific car accident, (saw and heard the entire thing), that left one girl dead. She was only 26...the accident was just so stupid....a stupid, stupid accident. One second she's alive, getting ready to have some fun, (it was in front of where I used to work), the next second, she's slammed in to by an SUV.

The thought of dying kicked in to overdrive then and hasn't stopped since.

That's the thing about death. It can happen so suddenly and unexpectedly, that just can't spend all the time worrying about when you'll go. I haven't witnessed the death of anything bigger than a lizard.

[tonylu]

Originally Posted by Back to NE

Now that I'm 50, when I think of my elderly years ahead or death, I'm almost comforted by the thought that I wouldn't want to live too much longer with this frame anyway. I mean, there is always something sore: fingers, back, knees, shoulders, neck, lungs, teeth, etal.

Maybe you need to spend a couple of your cat lives (metaphysically) and feel worn and your obsession will fade away.

That's kind of another thing I've been feeling lately. I've been feeling like I might not have enough time for everything I want to do. That saddens me.

Originally Posted by guest4

no one is guaranteed tomorrow which is why i don't plan for the future. i live and smile every day. how to stop worrying about death? make believe it will happen when you are not around (sleeping, or some other instant accident). life may cease (no afterlife) or maybe not but who cares? all you have guaranteed is right now. use it and enjoy it. thinking about it is wasteful. live what you have left. every single meal, outing, or a hobby you enjoy.

Originally Posted by silibran

I had probs with this in my fifties. I just had to grapple with the fact that I had lived over half my life already. I hated that thought! I suspect that middle age brings that realization--that death is nearer than ever.

I think that we all have to come to terms with mortality, because it comes to all of us. And the irony of it all is that many people who live to a great old age, really are tired of living. Some of us die too soon and some of us die to early.

The only advice I have for you is to live more in the moment. Yes, you need to plan ahead and keep an eye out for future developments. But try to add some pure enjoyment into your life every day. This can be small things. But give yourself some bit of joy whenever you can. And if you are in a great place, make sure to be mindful.

And I also want to recommend doing a good deed several times a week. This will do wonders for your all round happiness. At least as you do something positive for someone else, you won't be brooding about your future death.

I want to wish you well. You have a lot of life left to live.

I guess I do need to do some more living. Maybe appreciating things and people I spend time with. I could se some time outside of the house too.

Originally Posted by Sally_Sparrow

I am the same way. I never can follow my own advice so I won't give any, but I think you've gotten some good responses here on this thread.

I think about it way too much. Mostly in terms of my kids. I always think about my kids and how they'd suffer (emotionally) if I died "young", younger than the norm I mean... breaks my heart, and I just can't stop with the obsession. I should mention I have generalized anxiety disorder so that doesn't help.

My mother made a sort of deal with God to keep her alive until she sees my sister and I moved out of the house and settled down into our lives. It's a nice thought and I don't know if it comforts her. She may live to be a hundred then.

Originally Posted by Trimac20

That's the thing about death. It can happen so suddenly and unexpectedly, that just can't spend all the time worrying about when you'll go. I haven't witnessed the death of anything bigger than a lizard.

that's about as much as I have witnessed. My father died in 2010 and I didn't even stay for that. He was in hospice with bronchitis and emphysema. He was nearly unresponsive. All he could do was lay there gasping for air. I hugged him, said goodbye and I thanked him for being my father and everything then we left. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we stayed.

I've also had friends and acquaintances die all of a sudden. One of the chefs that worked in the cafeteria at school had died suddenly of a heart attack. He was a nice guy too so it was a little sad.

Originally Posted by Josseppie

Honestly I don't think you have to worry about death. Personally I use to be scared but at this point knowing what I know about technology I am not.

This is why:

With this kind of work going on now, Kurzweil says that by 2024 we'll be adding a year to our life expectancy with every year that passes. "The sense of time will be running in and not running out," he added. "Within 15 years, we will reverse this loss of remaining life expectancy. We will be adding more time than is going by."

Here is a link to a article that goes into more detail on this subject:

Nanotech could make humans immortal by 2040, futurist says - Computerworld

So the key is make it 5-15 years more and you should be ok!

Interesting. I've heard a lot about the benefits of nanotechnology. The world is going to be a strange and wondrous place in the future. Here's hoping we all make it.

Originally Posted by Mack Knife

The last thing you need to worry about is thinking about your own death.

Be more worried about who else might be thinking about your death.

Hmmm. Interesting. *looks around suspiciously*

Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow

Have to disagree with this. In a way, I'm like the OP. I started thinking about my death when I was around 8 years old, (between church being confusing and the threat of nuclear war, I was pretty scared and would lie awake at night at that age thinking about it), and haven't stopped since.

In May of 2011, I witnessed an horrific car accident, (saw and heard the entire thing), that left one girl dead. She was only 26...the accident was just so stupid....a stupid, stupid accident. One second she's alive, getting ready to have some fun, (it was in front of where I used to work), the next second, she's slammed in to by an SUV.

The thought of dying kicked in to overdrive then and hasn't stopped since.

I've witnessed only one major accident in my life. It wasn't as bad as yours though. Just a few injuries. It scared me I'm not going to lie. I stayed and tried to help the people involved and called 911. Thankfully other people came around to help out. I usually feel helpless in these situations. I'm not sure if the accident caused my thinking to increase. Maybe it did on a sort of subconscious level.

Originally Posted by Rubi3

Learn how to hynotize yourself and convince yourself you are uninterested in the subject. I'm not joking. It's easy to learn how. It teaches not to use the word not, so, a great phrase is "I reject the suggestion to think about death. When you put yourself under, you can make suggestions which will work.

I tried hypnotizing myself a couple of times. I usually end up falling asleep or falling out of it though. I might continue to try.

Thanks for all of the advice. I definitely have a lot to consider.

[rohirette]

OP, I also have great difficulty putting thoughts of death out of my mind.

For me, it isn't the dying process that is terrifying (although of course I fear a bad death. Just not obsessively.) I feel an empty terror down into my core when I allow my mind to contemplate being gone. My consciousness... erased. And then people have such little interest in where they came from, and their progenitors; unless my grand kids are amateur genealogists like me, I'll be truly gone and forgotten within a short time of dying.

It is brain-jellifying-screamingly terrifying.

[ukrkoz]

tonylu, your fear of death is coming from most likely traumatizing previous death experience. also, one of the main causes of fear of death, and you sort of tipped towards it, is conscious or not realization of previous "sins" that haunt you down, and inability to come to peace with them. Remember how you said - you do not have enough time? Hence, you know that time of reckoning comes, and comes fast. Hence, you realize, that you have incredibly much to take care of, as in clear your "debts". Hence, fear of death.
About the best way of dealing with this is to determine, what is that you are, and what is death. Should you find the right answer, death becomes what it is - a transition from one existence to another. It may be uncomfortable, but under right predisposition, it becomes of no consequence and nothing to fear of. Look at it as necessary surgical treatment that one has to undergo.
Death is to be accepted and understood, as a marker on one's way through physical existence. It should not be neglected, but it should not turn one's life into continuous misery. One should do its best to be prepared to traverse that marker.
What also helps, after self realization comes, is to understand, how one may leave the circle of deaths and births, and start working towards that path. It may take innumerable lives and deaths but, eventually, everyone breaks that circle and escapes it forever.

[knurly]

Now try to imagine being alive but your life has been over for some time. Every day is a repetition of the same mundane routine as the day before. You want nothing, can't have anything if you did save a pint of ice cream. I found this
video yesterday, looked it up again today. I cried.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by rohirette

OP, I also have great difficulty putting thoughts of death out of my mind.

For me, it isn't the dying process that is terrifying (although of course I fear a bad death. Just not obsessively.) I feel an empty terror down into my core when I allow my mind to contemplate being gone. My consciousness... erased. And then people have such little interest in where they came from, and their progenitors; unless my grand kids are amateur genealogists like me, I'll be truly gone and forgotten within a short time of dying.

It is brain-jellifying-screamingly terrifying.

Oh heavens above don't make it worse! Me too! I've been convinced I was going to die a few times and the sheer fact that you're perched on the precipice of infinity is simply too much for my mortal soul to contain. I really envy those with a strong religious faith. My belief in an afterlife is more a hope than a conviction right now.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by knurly

Now try to imagine being alive but your life has been over for some time. Every day is a repetition of the same mundane routine as the day before. You want nothing, can't have anything if you did save a pint of ice cream. I found this
video yesterday, looked it up again today. I cried.

These are real I assume.

How deep is the water below? I wouldn't think you'd just die unless you couldn't swim or something.

[Josseppie]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

These are real I assume.

How deep is the water below? I wouldn't think you'd just die unless you couldn't swim or something.

The impact on the water would most likely kill a person.

[CindyDavis]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

These are real I assume.

How deep is the water below? I wouldn't think you'd just die unless you couldn't swim or something.

You must have skipped physics.

32 ft/sec squared = dead.

[Grandpa Pipes]

Originally Posted by tonylu

First of all, I fear death. I fear it like the plague. I imagined I'd be over it when I'm older and everything and I still imagine I'd come to terms with it sometime in the future but my feelings and the dread of my own mortality keeps coming up. I try to meditate every once in a while but the thought that I'm going to stop breathing and that I'm no longer going to be conscious or anything like that keeps popping into my head. That state basically fills me with dread (excuse the rhyme).

My 29th birthday was this March. The thought of turning 30 kind of scares me because it's like a point of no return in my life. I'm never going to get any of the years that have already passed back and when I think of my age I imagine myself growing into an old man. Then I imagine me on my death bed. It scares me.

I have a basic idea about what many different religions say. Judeo-Christian belief systems say good people go to heaven after they die. Buddhism and other Eastern religions say people will be reincarnated all that other stuff. I'm not worried too much about what happens after I die. I'm afraid of the thing in between. The experience of death itself and the time between me being sick or too old to move and the time I stop breathing.

I've tried to live my life as best as I can and not think of dying but sometimes, when I'm alone, those thoughts about my own mortality and what will happen at that point come about.

Is there any advice that you could give or is this one of those "I'm overreacting" types of things?

Don't worry about death. One second you're alive the next you are not and there is nothing anyone can do to change that event. Soldiers in combat discover that reality very quickly.

If you spend what life you have worring about death you're not living your life. What a waste!