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Old 04-22-2013, 11:58 AM
 
824 posts, read 1,334,506 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caliwood View Post
Really I don't think it's healthy at all. By the way even if they stare at me I tend to look away like I don't even notice them.



They think you are teasing them, playing naive.
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Old 04-22-2013, 02:32 PM
 
6,333 posts, read 6,756,546 times
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If a guy is staring, he probably does enjoy looking at you, and you are picking up on this. It doesn't necessarily mean he wants to date you, he might just appreciate the way you look, men enjoy looking at women, they seem to do it all the time. I've people watched men looking at women, they just seem to enjoy checking out any reasonably attractive women. If you also find him attractive, just smile with eye contact, and if he's interested in more he will take it from there, if not he will probably smile back, but move on.

I tend to pretend I don't notice men looking at me too, I've never felt I was teasing, I never look back or anything, I thought I was giving a clear indication that I'm not interested, I find I have to ignore them, or they will pursue me, and I'm in a very long term relationship, I hate rings and never wear one, so that's not a giveaway.

About how old are you?
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Old 04-22-2013, 02:46 PM
 
8,021 posts, read 6,152,890 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Javier77 View Post
There's nothing wrong with you, in fact it's very healthy. Imagine the opposite, that you felt complitely ignored by men, that would be worse, right?


Maybe you feel (consciously or unconsciously) a turn on when a total stranger stares at you, and you give body language signs that welcome them to keep staring.


Men like to look at welcoming women, it's just natural. It's not necessarily about sex, it can be an appreciative look, like "she's got dreamy eyes", or "how soft her skin looks", or " I wonder how she likes ( insert word/action/attribute)"
Actually it isn't very healthy to walk around thinking that everyman wants you, mainly because it's simply not true. And what it does to the ego is obviously dangerous. Now just because everyman doesn't want you doesn't mean that no man wants you. It's not all or nothing.
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Old 04-22-2013, 03:38 PM
 
824 posts, read 1,334,506 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
Actually it isn't very healthy to walk around thinking that everyman wants you, mainly because it's simply not true. And what it does to the ego is obviously dangerous. Now just because everyman doesn't want you doesn't mean that no man wants you. It's not all or nothing.

We donīt kow how the OP looks like , so maybe she's a very attractive lady and all men she comes across want her. We donīt know if those stares are lust, or just friendly appreciation. And we donīt know if those stares are even real, since she said she looks in other direction, so maybe she thinks she's been stared at, when she's not.

What we know is that the OP interprets it as "all men want me".

And I think that thought is more healthy than "nobody wants me".

Obviosly, the most healthy scenario would be having a good self-steem without giving a hoot about the stares of random strangers, but maybe the OP has not reached yet that level of maturity, but I think she'll reach that stage faster thinking she is wanted rather than thinking she is unwanted.
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Old 04-22-2013, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Northern NJ
7,373 posts, read 7,280,457 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caliwood View Post
Pass? I hope it does I've been feeling this way for such a long time.
I honestly think this a form of immaturity or arrested development. Being self-conscious to this extent can hold you back. Especially when you eventually turn 30 then 40 etc., and you become objectively much less desirable physically with each passing year. I would speak to a psychologist about it to learn its origins and how to overcome it. It is obviously bothering you, or you would not have asked. And rightly so. I'm sure it can be understood and overcome if you are determined to improve yourself and get past it.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:51 PM
 
1,265 posts, read 2,309,447 times
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Again pics or i won't believe you. Show us a normal picture of you, and i as a guy will tell you why guys seem to stare at you. Seriously you will never know from all these " psychological" theories they are throwing at you
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Old 04-22-2013, 10:55 PM
 
Location: Northern NJ
7,373 posts, read 7,280,457 times
Reputation: 10519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Almeida93 View Post
Again pics or i won't believe you. Show us a normal picture of you, and i as a guy will tell you why guys seem to stare at you. Seriously you will never know from all these " psychological" theories they are throwing at you
If she posts a picture she will be giving in to the compulsion. She wants to get away from that.
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Old 05-16-2013, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
7,941 posts, read 6,957,241 times
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I would agree. I think its not very healthy. But other than that, I have nothing to add that's helpful. People are admitting to thoughts and ideas that I have never heard of before, and I have a degree in Psych and have been dealing with people for most of my work career.
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Old 05-17-2013, 09:37 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,330 posts, read 18,921,752 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caliwood View Post
Why do I believe that when a man that stares at me or comes in contact with me, I think they like me or want me or find me really beautiful. It can be a stanger or a customer service guy that I come into contact with. I wonder why in my mind I feel this way. What is this, am I just narcissistic/have a huge ego or something? I'm a really shy girl, and I actually don't believe anyone will ever go out with me because I lack self confidence...could that be the reason? It just bugs me because I do hear my thoughts and I think they're so wack...like seriously, why would I think a random stranger likes me? I can't help but feel this way. What's wrong with me?
Without knowing more about you, how you look, your demeanor, style of dress, and so forth, I haven't the slightest idea what is going on. Maybe you're far more attractive than you give yourself credit for or your routinely walk around with food stuck in your teeth.

Sounds like the internal conversation that you have with yourself is overly negative and judgmental too. Why beat yourself up?
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Old 05-18-2013, 08:39 PM
 
Location: NJ
804 posts, read 1,293,650 times
Reputation: 719
Quote:
Originally Posted by Almeida93 View Post
Again pics or i won't believe you. Show us a normal picture of you, and i as a guy will tell you why guys seem to stare at you. Seriously you will never know from all these " psychological" theories they are throwing at you
agreed
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